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Man Should Not Be Alone
There is a reason why the most tried-and-true punishment in prison is solitary confinement; we desperately crave conversation and connection. Mankind does not manage loneliness well. When we are alone, we tend to spin out of balance, becoming odder and odder as time passes. In time, depression becomes mental imbalance which in turns morphs into flat-out crazy. We need each other.
G-d recognizes this in Adam: “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a fitting helper for him.'” (Gen. 2:18)
But the story does not end there. Genesis does not stand alone: it forms the basis for all the books that follow. In this case, the Torah tells us that man’s loneliness can be satisfied through offerings.
The key word is the word for “alone,” levado. It appears for the first time when G-d identifies Adam’s loneliness: “it is not good for man to be levado.”
The grammatical root of that word, levado, appears much later in the Torah, in the perceived minutiae of the sacrifices. That root word is vad. It refers to linen garments that are brought during only two offerings: the olah and the kaparah. Here is why it matters: both the olah and the kapparah are unique among the offerings for their message: those offerings express our loneliness and a desire for a connection with our creator.
The inventor of the olah was Noah. The world had been washed away. Noah’s was the last family in the world: everyone else had perished. What does he do? He takes animals and offers them to G-d in an olah, an elevation-offering. This offering was so well received by G-d that there are 19 straight verses of praise for Noah and mankind. G-d wants us to reach out to Him. Admitting our loneliness, as scary as it can be, is a key step in forming new relationships of any kind, whether with man or with G-d. The olah is how a lonely person reaches out for G-d.
The kaparah is the national offering on Yom Kippur. Mistranslated as “atonement,” the word in the Torah actually means an insulating layer that allows incompatible forces to come very close to each other: Noah’s Ark was given a kaparah to keep the life within and the water out. In the case of Yom Kippur, the kaparah is to allow G-d to come as close to the Jewish people as possible, both on Yom Kippur and especially on the festival of Sukkos, when we believe that G-d’s presence descends to right above our makeshift roofs in our sukkah huts. We offer a kaparah in order to invite G-d to visit us.
Both the kaparah and the olah are about resolving loneliness! The former is about a national desire for G-d’s company, and the latter is about the individual’s desire to reach out and connect with our creator. These are two different dimensions of our desire for a relationship with G-d.
Footnote: there is one other time the fabric vad is mentioned: the undergarments worn by the priests were made of this material as well. I believe this is for the same reason: priests should always feel G-d’s presence up against their skin, even if the garments are invisible to the outside world. The olah and kaparah are brought for others – while the service of the priest was personal to the priest himself. Thus the vad resolved loneliness for each priest through their vad undergarments, it resolved loneliness for individuals in the community using the olah, and it was fulfilled for the community with the kaparah.
[another @iwe and @susanquinn production]
Notes for those desiring the source text:
The olah, the individual offering to reach out to G-d:
Command Aaron and his sons thus: This is the ritual of the olah: The olah itself shall remain where it is burned upon the altar all night until morning, while the fire on the altar is kept going on it. The priest shall dress in vad raiment, with vad breeches next to his body; and he shall take up the ashes to which the fire has reduced the olah on the altar and place them beside the altar. He shall then take off his vestments and put on other vestments, and carry the ashes outside the camp to a clean place. (Lev. 6:2-4)
The kaparah, the national offering to allow the people to come closer to G-d on Sukkos:
Published in GeneralThus only shall Aaron enter the Shrine: with a bull of the herd for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering. He shall be dressed in a sacral linen tunic, with linen breeches next to his flesh, and be girt with a linen sash, and he shall wear a linen turban. They are sacral vestments; he shall bathe his body in water and then put them on. And from the Israelite community he shall take two he-goats for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering. (Lev. 16:3-5)
…
Thus the goat shall carry on it all their iniquities to an inaccessible region; and the goat shall be set free in the wilderness. (L. 16:10)
…
And Aaron shall go into the Tent of Meeting, take off the linen vestments that he put on when he entered the Shrine, and leave them there. (16:23)
…
The priest who has been anointed and ordained to serve as priest in place of his father shall make expiation. He shall put on the vad vestments, the sacral vestments. He shall kapar the innermost Shrine; he shall kapar the Tent of Meeting and the altar; and he shall kapar the priests and on behalf of all the people of the congregation. (16: 32-33)
I always try to remember that at 0300H when my wife starts snoring.
I suppose I’ll just have to try harder…
Some might say I spun out of balance and became odder after I married…lol. Kidding.
It’s true though humanity is not meant for living in isolation.
No, that’s when you became less odd.
This was a strange, suprising, and good post for me. Thanks.
A long time ago I either had a dream about being at the entrance to hell, or I was at the entrance to hell. I experienced hell, or perhaps what it would be. The closest word I know to describe it was loneliness; maybe I should say complete, eternal separation from G_d? and from everything, from life, from hope.
As you can guess, the word “loneliness”, which we use for something ordinary and temporary, doesn’t convey the experience. I write this just to convey what direction (if my experience was true) you go to approach hell, not what it is like when you get there. (In that experience, I mean. It was just one experience, and it was just mine. No one ever suggested that it was a truth from the Word of G_d, until I read your post.
I must come from a different place. In my world men are always alone. Relationships, friendships, confidences, etc, are all points of weakness that others exploit for their advantage. While women all claim they want is men’s sensitivity, what they crave is men’s confidence, bravery and strength to keep their world steady, reliable, consistent. All men are an island, all men are the rock the waves bend for, all men are the solid land women crave.
Wow. That is quite terrifying.
In my world, men have friends, and our wives are also pillars – though in different ways than their men. We find strength in our relationships with both G-d and our fellow man.
I see this as well. But women provide solace for men, too!
So movie makers and novelists would have you believe. I don’t think the evidence would show it, but that doesn’t make a good story.
My wife and sister in law jokingly agree that it’s not good for men to be alone, and even worse when unsupervised. It’s not like my brother and I have ever given them a reason to think that… (cough).
Also personal observation.
I wonder if there has been any research on the topic.
Probably, but who could believe anything published for the field of psychology?
I’m in the “people aren’t that pathetic” camp.
Does alone mean …lonely? As in, this man (or mankind) should not feel lonely. Or does it mean …the only one. As in, This man should not be the only one.
I can believe it, if it’s good research. You have to verify, because there is a lot of room for charlatans in that field. And by that I don’t mean that they make up data (though that is always a possibility) but that their methods are suspect for the conclusions they draw . But there is good stuff, too.
To be perfectly lonely in the way I mean is not just a feeling. If it were it could change. Feelings change. This morning I feel lonely, this afternoon I feel a part of a many, including others about whom I care and who care about me. Perfect loneliness is the fact that one is not a part of anything involving others. There is no one else who cares about or even knows the existence of oneself. But it isn’t temporal knowledge. It is not just about the present, but a timeless truth.
Loneliness in my present usage is a truth. The feeling is a necessary result of having incontrovertible knowledge of a true fact.
Perhaps the best answer is to say that for a lonely soul the answer is not knowable. Or, perhaps that the answer makes no difference, now and forever. Right now, when I’m not being in that awful place, the answer is much simpler: no, I’m not the only one, you are not the only one, there are many of us persons.
The Creator can know that there are many that he created, and that some are lost and some are not. But none of the lost can know that there are many. The lost cannot know of any “other” so he cannot even know of himself. He can only feel pure, permanent terror.
Huh? Some times people make things more complicated than they are. That doesn’t even remotely make sense.
See Covid, 2020.
How?
People in lockdown got more and more nutty. Odd behavior. Forgetting social cues. More booze and food. Less discipline. Just google “isolation and mental health.” Or read this:
I used to live in isolation (on the Salmon River in Idaho). As my mother wrote…
I’ve not seen that and I flat out deny it is true.
I don’t think we have been reduced to that level of isolation, and I don’t agree that it necessarily is true of people.
That means nothing. That you do or say things you might not normally say is like saying that when I’m in Aspen I strap long boards on my feet, yet I never do that at home in central Texas.
Are you saying people did not gain weight? Is this a lie?
Are you saying people did not drink more? All all these reports lying?
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33316978/
and:
Figure 10. Percentage changes in per capita sales of spirits, wine, and beer (in gallons of ethanol) in July 2020 compared to the prior 3-year July average (i.e., average of July 2017, 2018, and 2019) in states with data available as of March 4, 2021.
from here.
It means NOTHING that people in the backwoods spend all day muttering to themselves and talking to every kind of object, animate or not?
Isn’t nutty behavior when away from people exactly the point I am making?
Here is from the popular press:
And this is a sign of insanity? Balderdash.
Again, this is not a sign of insanity. It’s not even undesirable behavior. People have more time, aren’t driving as much, why shouldn’t they drink more? Alcohol, it can be said, is responsible for the possibility of civilization by allowing large numbers of people to live close together with water made somewhat safer from mixing with alcohol. Alcohol, it can be said, provided the greatest impetus for the development of trade in ancient days. I see no problem with minor increases in alcohol consumption. It is not a sign of insanity.
This is not “nutty.” Absent direct contact with others, certain inhibitions are loosened and people might do or say things that are otherwise “silly.” It is not a sign of insanity.
Now, if you told me that you started cutting your wrists because you were isolated, then I would say you were getting “nutty.” But that would be a very unusual reaction.
I don’t think that @iwe is used to your recalcitrance in posts, @skyler. I do think, however, that you are so illogical in your responses that the isolation has taken you off the rails, too. We sometimes have difficulty in seeing our own behavior.
No, I don’t agree that isolation makes people insane. I haven’t seen it, and I have a lot more faith in human nature than that.
Additionally, no one has been so isolated during the pandemic so as to be without any contact at all. We have the internet and phones and we also have neighbors.
I don’t think @iwe was even close to suggesting that people were going insane. This is what the OP says:
When we are alone, we tend to spin out of balance, becoming odder and odder as time passes. In time, depression becomes mental imbalance which in turns morphs into flat-out crazy. We need each other.
Craziness is not insane. It can be stupid, irrational, unexplainable, inconsistent behavior. I’ve acted “crazy” in my life haven’t you?
Communicating on the internet or the phone is a long way from physical, in-person communication. A long way. And in many communities, people relate very little to their neighbors, and that was especially true during Covid. Remember social distancing? Your digging a hole, Skyler. Let it go.
It makes people weird. They end up with rougher edges that don’t serve any useful purpose. When living with others it becomes necessary for everyone to make adjustments. It’s human nature.
Quite. Places where people live cheek-to-jowl have the most social customs to make that existence possible. Think of Japan.
Indeed, I think this is a key reason why married people are much more mentally flexible and accommodating of others than single people the same age. Living with someone who does not think the same way forces us to learn how to see things from other perspectives.
No. Crazy and insane are synonyms. Sometimes in levity was say we are acting “crazy” but we are not talking about exaggerated descriptions. We are using serious words here, and when we are using serious words and someone says “crazy” then they should be expected to mean “insane.”
And so which is more odd? Living in a crowded place where people have to restrict their own otherwise acceptable behavior to not alarm their neighbors, or people who have fewer needs to restrict their behavior?
Historically, the latter is odd. Impossible, even. Among indigenous peoples on many continents, exiling someone from the community for bad behavior was usually as good as a death sentence. They needed each other. For people in cultures that succeeded them, the need became less apparent, especially when there was a large central government to pick up the pieces, but the need didn’t go away.