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We are losing the little guy. I feel trapped. I know a broken heart is waiting for me but I chose it a long time ago. There is no wishing it away.
He is just old, not as old as me but way older in the number of days God decided to give dogs. He is running out of days. I wish it weren’t so but it is. There’s a Hank Williams song “I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive.” That’s true for me and you and for my little goofball puppy.
When we first got him they told us he was 10 years old but they didn’t know. They were guessing at his age. They found him wandering the streets of Waterbury. That was 11 years ago. He was so emaciated and they told us he was going blind. He was supposed to have had some kind of medical condition that would cause the blindness but we didn’t care. He needed a home. We had two other elderly dogs, a beagle and a basset hound, who wouldn’t be with us much longer. We thought he’d fit in well with them.
Apparently whatever the medical condition was that afflicted his eyesight was exacerbated by his lack of nourishment. Once he knew he was safe and once he was getting fed properly he was a puppy again. He’d use Henry, the basset hound, as a speed bump.
He was such a blessing when Jelly, the beagle, died. Losing her just broke our hearts in two. Otto would start playing with the dog toys and it distracted us just enough to get us a little further past or through our grief.
I used to joke that he was a Republican. We had two small toys he liked to play with precisely because they were small. There was a mouse named Nancy Pelosi and a raccoon named Harry Reid. He would toss them crazily around the living room and sometimes Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi would even fly past my ear. Served them right.
And he didn’t go blind. Maybe his eyesight has deteriorated some but so has mine. He’s been mostly healthy until recently.
I think having Otto helped Henry too. Henry and Jelly had been together so long. When Otto goes it will be tough on Lila. We got her after Henry died.
We’re going to lose Otto soon, not quite yet but soon. We’ve had him a lot longer than we thought we would but it feels so short. It is short compared to the rest of my family. People say that pets become part of your family and that’s true but it seems even more true because while they are with us they are almost omnipresent. And then when they are gone their absence is almost constant. (sigh)
Next week we are all going to Savannah for my nephew’s wedding. We leave Sunday. He likes riding in the car with the two of us close by.
I went out today to get a haircut and left the TV on for the two of them. As a goof, I put it on the Universo channel. (Otto is part chihuahua.) This is Otto after a couple of hours watching a Spanish soap opera. Lila looks annoyed.