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And They’re Gone …
My youngest daughter had to do her first semester at Georgetown at home on a laptop, but this morning, she left for D.C. to move into her apartment. My other two daughters have already left home. Things are different now. I really don’t remember my life before my daughters arrived. For 22 years, our house has been an explosion of blonde hair, pink bows, Barbie Dolls, athletic equipment, nail polish, multivariable calculus textbooks, stuffed animals, musical instruments, and endless wonderful chaos. Now it’s very quiet. They’re gone.
I knew they would leave at some point. That’s the whole idea, of course. Every Dad knows that his time with his daughters is brief and finite. And I’m so thankful for the time we had together. Every minute was wonderful – even the ones that weren’t, if that makes any sense.
We had a lot a great adventures together, like in the picture above from 2012; going fishing for bluegills in ponds back in the woods. And I’m so happy that they’re out there today, finding their own adventures now. Just like in the picture, they’ve got exploring to do. As it should be.
But I just can’t believe they’re gone.
I miss my little girls.
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Have you really earned a dog, Drew?
Don’t know about that. I only borrowed money to buy a house, which was paid off well before the kids left. I’m a guy that believes if you don’t have the money, don’t buy it.
I am glad you bred because you are genetically superior to other people.
I live with three women. Two of them teenagers. I’ve earned at least a wolf pack by now.
My dad has three women and all female cats. One of whom (the cats) slaps him on a semi-regular basis. It’s hard being Phil.
The wolf also has she wolves of equal and greater ferocity and they cooperate with them. Lion are so busy fighting among themselves that they have inferior pack tactics.
First the corona virus, now this?
You’ve got this Dr. Bastiat.
There is always zoom. 😁
Concur. (Not precisely the same circumstances.)
If it makes you feel better, I think you’re going to hear from your children all the time when they leave home. My sister and I both call multiple times per week- we’re never really gone:)
Point out to her the relative advantages of dog ownership.
Instead of alligator ownership?
Easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission in either case. Though you’re more likely to get forgiveness with dogs as they are very forgiving creatures.
Plus the vet bills on 20’+ alligators can be pricey.
This is why I advise people to have more children.
For the alligator?
I wish we could’ve. On the other hand, the sorrow of having two move away must be double the loss of one . . . unless you get more used to it! Yes, that’s it. Unless the second or third loss compounds the memory of the first, and they all seem to form a big sad fog that hangs on the periphery of your vision, and you look away, lest it define what you see. . . .Yes, that’s it. Unless having two or three means it’s more likely you’ll have someone who calls or texts! Yes, that’s it. Unless you feel a particular ache on the day when. none of them reach out.
I’ve sent Daughter off three times now. Once for the year in Brazil, once for college, and last week for her second college stint. Nothing will equal the first. As a dad you spend every moment with a raft of completely reasonable assumptions, starting with “she will stick a knife in a power socket” and ending with “ninja child murders are waiting in the trees over the bus drop-off, which is why she’s four minutes late from school.” There’s a posture you assume when they’re learning to walk – a state of anticipation, ready to bolt into action to keep their little head from hitting the corner of a table. Your whole life is spent in that posture, in one way or another. You hide it, because you have to, but it’s always there.
So after 18 years in the Posture, poof! She walked through the security line at the airport and was gone, for a year, to the other side of the planet. Everything since then has been cake.
What I never expected was the pandemic, of course – she ended up back at home for nine months, and to be honest, and greedy, I loved it. An unexpected reprise. Life felt normal again. But that had to end, and now she’s in New York visiting friends. I was tempted tonight to text, but didn’t.
The rope is rough when it starts to play out of your hands, but softens with time.
My son, my only child, is eleven, and I can’t believe how fast it’s going. I miss when he was five or six. That seemed ideal. I don’t look forward to when he’s out. There are certain moments in time we want to crystallize. That’s heaven, where it’s timeless. Here on earth time waits for no one. I imagine heaven to be in those crystallized moments we wish would never end.
One regret in life, I wish I had more kids, or at least a daughter to go with my son.
Thanks for a great post.
Yes I absolutely agree. Children are an immense blessing.
My youngest (girl) spent a year at college and then came back. My wife and I enjoyed the year alone, but have to admit that having the youngest around is convenient. (Free room and board comes with chores and errands….)
My wife pointed out that I’d be more upset if they didn’t leave. Which is true, of course.
But I still miss my little girls.
I was just getting used to my children leaving for college; after all, they were still coming HOME in between semesters. Then, college was done. And HOME for them was no longer our house, but their own! Now, instead of coming home, they come for visit. 😢
Not too late. Had my second one when I was 36….Air Force spacing.
My oldest brother married late, to a wonderful woman 15 years younger. They had their fifth (and last) when he was 50. !!!
(My youngest graduated from high school when I was 50.)
I’m fifty-nine. ;)
My dad is 67, so he was 46 when I was born and around 47 when I was 11. I never minded having an older dad, he still got down on his knees to play with us as much as we wanted and gave good, mature advice. He also still picks me up and tries to carry me around a bit, which he really shouldn’t do.
OK, so you have a small roadblock.
Mine are long gone. My baby girl turns 30 this March! I have two boys and two girls. The boys live across the country in California, we live in Florida. Our oldest daughter lives in St. Louis our youngest is the only one close just up the road in Gainesville. We were blessed to have the two daughters with significant others and friends home for seven days over Christmas. It was chaos, six adults, five dogs and two cats, but we loved every minute of it. Now it is quiet, just my wife and our two older dogs. I would trade the quiet for the chaos in a heart beat.
Only if you have the requisite genetics for it. I think that happy people have children and then say that they are happy because they have children. I don’t think children are always a blessing and it is a mistake for people with the genetics and the psychology that lets them be happy with their children to say so.
Human beings are intensely diverse in their minds.
All three of ours left and have now come home.
#1 (son) went to Chicago for college. He was such pain in the ass the summer before his freshman year that we HAPPILY put him on the plane to Chi-Town. I seriously considered not having him come home for Christmas because the summer had been so bad. We had him back for Christmas, and things were fine. I guess it was just a severe, long-lasting case of nerves over the summer. He moved back and is still in NO. So no separation sadness when he left for college – after all, we had two spares.
#2 (son, five years younger than #1) went to Auburn. This experience was much less traumatic as he is pretty laid back about just about everything. I drove him to and from Auburn every time he came home and enjoyed the drives. Each trip was like a mini-vacation, and spending time with him was a joy. He returned to NO upon graduation and now lives with his brother. No separation sadness – we still had a spare.
#3 (daughter) went to Lafayette for college – only three hours away, but still she was gone. Now we had separation blues – no more spares! She had a very bad junior year, came home, and lives with us again. She is gainfully employed doing something she likes (baking). We are of two minds about her – one part tells us she should go out on her own, the other part just loves having her around.
We have a family dinner almost every Sunday and spend holidays together.
Not sure why I made the comment all the above. The original post and many of the comments hit close to home. I just felt I needed to write something. I’m still trying to figure some stuff out.