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Group Writing: Unconventional Holiday Celebrations
Growing up somewhat Jewish, I’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider at Christmas time. It was more difficult as a child because although we were barely observant, we didn’t have even the secular trappings of the season. I thought I’d reminisce a bit, and then bring you current to life at this holiday season time of year.
When I was in the school choir in grade school, singing Christmas songs was, well, awkward. Singing about sleigh rides didn’t create a problem for me (even though I grew up in CA) but songs like, “Silent Night,” as beautiful as it was, made me uncomfortable. Then there was the Christmas concert—in those old days they didn’t make the silly substitute for Christmas with the word “holiday”— and I remember telling my mother about the upcoming concert that I wanted to participate in. It was one thing to sing in class, but another to be on public display. But she decided to let me perform with my friends; I don’t remember if she attended. The administration always tacked on a Chanukah song—usually an awful tune—but they were making a genuine effort to be accommodating.
* * * * *
Move forward just a few years, and I was still so wanting to be like everyone else. So, my parents allowed us to get a live Christmas tree. I remember enjoying stringing lights and decorations, and we even strung strings of popcorn. And for some reason, my parents gave me a doll as a present. Funds were tight, so I didn’t expect much. But a doll? I had never played with dolls, and I recollect thinking it was nice, but I didn’t quite know what to do with it. So I don’t think I played with it. My childhood fantasies appeared from reading fairy tales, not creating tea parties.
My mother realized that a Christmas tree didn’t fit with Chanukah (even if you called it a Chanukah bush). So she asked us kids to make the choice—putting up a tree or 8 days with candles and little, inexpensive gifts. We chose Chanukah. Most nights we received things like little plastic hairbrushes or tootsie rolls, although I received a blouse one year that I adored for its flat mother-of-pearl buttons. I think my mother knew we’d pick Chanukah, but it obviously wasn’t for religious reasons.
* * * * *
Now I believe my husband and I have the best of all worlds. We celebrate Chanukah with my custom made Chanukiah (menorah for Chanukah) from Israel (see above). I light the candles each night and recite the blessings, and think of the trials the Jewish people have been through, how we’ve survived, and how we try to bring light to the world. My contribution to the neighborhood was a home-made Chanukiah that my husband helped me put together. (To be honest, he did most of the work, because he cringed at the thought of my using a spray can of paint.)
And during the month of November, the neighborhood “boys” staged decorations for our entire street (17 houses on a cul-de-sac). This year they outdid themselves. In part, Mr. Mayor (our next-door neighbor) was going stir crazy from following COVID restrictions, and he had a half dozen fellows help him collect the wooden decorations stored at a friend’s house and assist in putting up the lights. They spent hours and hours doing it, and I think it was a guy bonding kind of thing. This year we canceled our neighborhood Dec. 1 gathering where we usually have a potluck meal and holiday spirits. This year no gathering, and no meal.
But we did gather together, on December 1, lighting night, to walk up and down the street to admire the fine work of our men, then stood together (not socially distancing) for a photo. Although many of the neighbors still live in fear of COVID, we realize how lucky we are to have each other.
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Published in Group Writing
You bunch of wild rebels!
She’s started a new movement:
Social Lives Matter
Touching story. It is painful to think of being a child and feeling apart, of being different at the age when we most desire to be like everyone else.
Painful also for a parent. We have gained an understanding of why things are as they are, and faith in unseen things, and we tighten our muscles when we are about to get hit. We are tough, and we face life’s pains stoically. But watching our helpless vulnerable children suffer cuts straight through every mental defense and brings tears to grown men’s eyes.
I still felt the pain in the time before this year of inescapable religious repression, when we were still allowed to celebrate the birth of Christ with choral singing. Every year we performed Christmas songs, and there were many Jews in my choir. I felt very sorry for them and wondered what it was like for them. I don’t know if I could have participated were I a Jew, but to miss out on the highest season of choral music by sitting it out would have been painful too.
I would be observant I assume, and so would have my congregation and our own traditions to buoy me up. It would be much tougher to be non-observant.
Thanks, Susan! The latke song was great fun.
I don’t think I understood my parents ideas about Judaism. When I asked my father why he didn’t care to go to synagogue (but did at the high holidays), he said he didn’t need to be in a synagogue to find G-d. He was also an introvert, and I don’t know if he experienced G-d at all. But he had no idea of the beauty of finding G-d in community. That is what I lack right now, although I see a potential community for the future. Meanwhile, I do my best to maintain my Jewish practice. And fortunately I do actually know that G-d is not just in the synagogue, but is here as I write this comment to you. Thanks, @markcamp. I so appreciate people like you and others on Ricochet who have a deep love for their faith and for G-d.
Edit: I also meant to say that my mother must have been deeply conflicted about Jewish observance, what to do and how much to do. I’m pretty sure her parents were less than observant, although I think she was raised in a kosher house. I kick myself that I didn’t ask her about more about Judaism in her upbringing. She was the one who got us to synagogue for High Holidays, who made sure we went to Hebrew school and Sunday school. We even had blue and white streamers one year in the house for Chanukah.
Aren’t they fun! I always feel festive when I hear them. Thanks, @eustacecscrubb.
The Maccabeats kick it.
Happy Hanukkah, Susan.
Thanks, @percival. They have lots of other songs, too!
I know. I’ve listened to them before.
This is a great holiday story for so many reasons – love the picture. It reminds me of Christmas With the Kranks where Dan Akroyd is the street boss, and announces to everyone its time to put up your Frosty! (The Kranks are skipping Christmas and going on a cruise)…… HA HA!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=broBcyDxqJE
Bah Humbug!
Love this post.
I was so depressed yesterday I had to go to YouTube to cheer up. And I did cheer up. Kristin Chenoweth has a wonderful sense of humor.
From the Before Times:
I just love Kristin! And she always makes me smile! Thanks, @marcin.
How can Y’all have so many lights on if there’s no outlet in which to plug ’em?
Hey, @jimmycarter! Every house has a long extension cord for their own lights, and for the lighted oak trees. (Every house was built with an oak tree planted in the front.) We have an outlet in the front of each house, and the cord extends to the oak tree. We also cover the plug with a plastic bag at the tree to protect it from sprinklers and the rain; those bags don’t always help, but they often do. And we have to unplug all the extension cords when they plan on mowing the lawns; Mr. Mayor has their mowing schedule and he gets out there to unplug every cord and then re-plug them in! (If I see him sneaking around, I tell my husband so he can help him.) And then a few of us had our GSIs go off for a few years, but that seems to have stopped. Some of the lights on the wooden decorations are solar or battery operated.
Otherwise, it’s a piece of cake!
My little sister once complained that kids on the school bus thought we were Jewish because we included the star of David among our Christmas decorations.
I wonder Christmas is like in Israel. Jews probably have some pretty great holiday celebrations there at different times of year. Does Jerusalem light up outside of homes during the Festival of Lights?
Are there large Jewish neighborhoods in New York, Florida, or other American states where Jewish holidays are more publicly celebrated? Via the Internet, maybe it’s possible to enjoy some of that from afar.
That was sweet of you to acknowledge Chanukah, @aaronmiller! I don’t know about Israel; remember, it commemorates a battle and the destruction and restoration of the Temple. Celebrations are with food (of course!) like latkes and jelly rolls and games with the dreidel (spinning top). It is said that the gift-giving began as an imitation of Christmas celebrations. Here’s a link for anyone who might be interested:
What Is Hanukkah? – Info you need about Chanukah – Chanukah – Hanukkah (chabad.org)
Not the response I was expecting, but…. got it.
@susanquinn, it might give you a smile to google “Christmas songs written by Jews”. It’s an impressive list.🙂
I aim to serve!
“Growing up somewhat Jewish, I’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider at Christmas time.“
That is a very beautiful way of expressing an emotional reality that we all deal with. We all grow up somewhat (fill in the blank) and we all feel like a bit of an outsider. Jews have been living in a non-Jewish world for several millennia. We now all live in an entirely secular world. I pray that we can see we are engaged in the same struggle.
For me, lighting up my house so that it might be seen from outer space, is an affirmation of my humanity as much as my culture.
Love this, @southernpessimist. I think everyone at one time or another feels like they don’t fit in. Now we religious folk experience that together. What a sad place for us to come together in a troubled secular world.
This post is part of our Group Writing Series under the December 2020 Group Writing Theme: “’Tis the Season.” Stop by soon, our schedule and sign-up sheet awaits.
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I live in God’s world.
Right.
Someone can run around being secular in my vicinity, but they change nothing by doing so.
@arahant, is that like being in the world, but not of it? Could you elaborate on “living in G’d’s world”? It sounds lovely, but what does it mean?
God’s World
This is God’s world. I am passing through this world now as I shall pass through other of God’s worlds at another time.
God created the whole of the world. We are co-creators within the scope of human events, but God is still the one power and presence in our lives and in the world. We cannot see the full scope of the ripples that occur out of any given event, the opportunities for spiritual growth that are presented to people, but God is always there in every event.
I Timothy 4:4, “For all things created by God are good; nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving.”
12/10/2020
@arahant, you never disappoint. This is just beautiful. Thank you.
Thank @southernpessimist. He inspired it.
Mom was the fourth of five kids, and her younger brother also married outside of Judiasm, so growing up the agreed upon split was Christmas at their house in Chappaqua, Passover at my aunt and uncle’s home in Albany. If there was any family tension about the arrangement, I was too young to notice (dad’s side of the family was down in Texas, and we’d do our vacations there during the summer, so there weren’t the same types of Christmas/Chanukah or Passover/Easter types of holiday conflicts).