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I have three little girls, who are in college now. When they were young we rarely gave them candy or soda. Those were special treats for birthdays, or travel, or holidays, or whatever. But that was not part of their everyday diet. We weren’t fanatics about it, but we avoided junk in their diet. Nothing wrong with the occasional treat, but that wasn’t how we lived every day. And we raised three very strong, healthy kids.
We lived in the mountains of Tennessee, and often would have a fire at night, out on the deck (That’s me, on just such an evening, pictured to the right.). We’d sit around the fire, look at the views of the mountains, admire the sunset, and enjoy the cool evening mountain air. It was idyllic. I enjoy bourbon, and on those evenings I would often have a bourbon and Coke. Or three. I mix them with an emphasis on the bourbon, adding Coke mainly for color, and to avoid the appearance that I’m drinking straight bourbon. Anyway, on one of these lovely evenings, the adults were sitting around the fire, and I had a beautifully potent BOURBON and coke sitting on the ground next to my chair.
My daughters were running around, catching fireflies, chasing the dogs, playing tag, and doing the things that little kids do on beautiful summer evenings. Until my middle daughter noticed what appeared to be a Coke sitting on the ground next to my chair. “What a special treat!” she thought to herself. “He won’t notice if I just take one drink!” she thought.
So I’m listening to one of the adults tell a story, when all of a sudden I hear a little girl choking and gagging on the ground behind my lawn chair. I jump up, run around my chair, and try to help her.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“Daddy, what’s wrong with your Coke!?! Ewwww!!!!”
It took me a second, and then I realized what she had done. A good father would have been very sympathetic and gotten her something to drink to get the taste of bourbon out of her mouth. I, of course, laughed myself silly. Along with the other adults. I still chuckle, just thinking about it. Maybe you had to be there. She looked so horrified and disgusted and green around the gills. She was maybe eight years old. She was so cute.
With entertainment like that, who needs TV?
I thought of that night today for some reason, and I smiled. What a great night.
And then I thought of Americans who voted for Joe Biden.
They thought they were being rebels. Going against the grain. Sneaking around, maybe even cheating a little bit to get what they wanted, and sticking it to the man.
Now, having taken a drink from that red Solo cup sitting on the ground – now we find out how much they like it.
If we’re lucky, they’ll get sick, and gag when they realize what they’ve done. And if we’re lucky, the adults around them will laugh at them. And if we’re lucky, they’ll eventually laugh along with the adults, learn from their mistakes, and change their behavior (and their votes) in the future.
For some reason, I find all of those possibilities to be unlikely. And I suspect that the consequences of their little fit of pique are likely to be painful for everyone. I hope I’m wrong, but I see the next four years involving a lot of disgusted gagging from all of us. Not just from those who decided to drink from this cup for questionable reasons. But from the rest of us, too.
Maybe I’m wrong. Hopefully I am.
But from a society-wide standpoint, drinking from the wrong cup can be extremely unpleasant. Not just for those who snuck a drink from the wrong cup. For everyone else, too.
Those who do so hope it will be like a little kid drinking from Daddy’s cup – C’mon! It’ll be fun! Let’s stir thing up a bit! What do they know! Haha!
And honestly, when it’s just a little kid getting a snoot full of bourbon, it is sort of funny.
But this – this is not funny.
This is not funny, because I feel like my kid took a drink of something that they weren’t expecting, but I’ll be the one gagging.
This is not funny.Published in