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Play Along, Gentlemen…
… And ladies, too!
It’s not even Halloween and Hallmark has started their yearly Christmas movie orgy. (As if it really ends!) So to keep your sanity and interest going, print out the following Bingo cards and play along. Send along your suggestions and we could have a set of 30 or so before you know it!
Published in General
“Why did your [wife/husband] leave you?”
Spouses always die in Hallmark movies. The surest way to happiness for a man is to have a cute kid with a hot first wife and then the hot chick with the big city job that they used to date in high school comes back to town to save her family’s business and realizes what she could have had is still available to her without all the pain of pregnancy.
Otherwise the hot chick is a reporter who gets sent to some Eastern European country the size of a flea’s navel and falls for their crown prince who talks with a very posh (but very bad) British accent, when he should probably sound like Marshall Tito.
So the hot chick has the first hot wife whacked. I think I’ve seen that movie.
Naw. That would only happen on their sister channel, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries. And they would never be married – only engaged. And one of the two women has to be a total shrew.
You’re thinking of the Lifetime Movie channel.
Or it’s a guy she initially hates but then they fall in love despite their differences. The movie never shows their acrimonious divorce 5 years later.
Dude, you already promised me John Wick, The Musical…
Get to writing it already.
You got the chops and you know you want to.
We’ll call it a parody to avoid the licensing fees.
Some of this was covered once before . . .
https://ricochet.com/468214/archives/hallmark-christmas-movieshallmark-christmas-movieshallmark-christmas-movies/
If I wanted to be original do you think I would’ve chosen TV for a living?
Now EJ I used to think that the first husband/first wife was always dead too but they’ve been slipping in a few divorces for both. The rule seems to be that “it was a long time ago”, “we were very and/or too young” and “ex-spouse is completely out of my life/our lives” (usually living either all the way across the country or even in a foreign country). Now on the crown prince accent I complete agree with you.
Back in the day, you saw some creativity, such as Harry Caray trying to liven up an otherwise morose Cubs game as they were losing 11-0 by trying to pronounce “Candy Maldonado” backwards.
Eivom Kramllah
I personally was looking forward to Harry trying to navigate “Kosuke Fukudome” forwards or backwards without getting fined by the FCC.
Isn’t that from The Sopranos? No wait, The Godfather. Dang it, I never saw either . . .
The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.
And you know this exactly how, young lady?
Script is about done. Also working on the soundtrack
Ding, ding, ding!
That’s the one I was thinking of, anyway.
I feel more sorry for the author.
(Several weeks ago I had signed up to listen to her zoom talk upon the Canadian publication of her book, but the weather was good for a full-day bicycle ride, so I did that instead. Why a separate Canadian edition, I don’t know.)
Past historians have missed out on a lot by not being attuned to the women in this history except through a male-centric lens, and a British-American male-centric lens in particular. She does a lot to rectify that deficiency. I have a better understanding of the first century of Detroit’s existence now. And of the Fox Wars (1712-1732) of which I had already read much. But at the same time, it seems that so much emphasis on feminist abstractions and repetition of them limits her own view of the history. If she had forced herself to write her book without using the word “gendered” even once, I think it would have been a better book.
In the same way, if someone made a Christmas movie without all the trite phrases on the bingo cards, it might turn out to be a more interesting movie.
Saw that one . . .
Damn, I love it!
You don’t hang out with crown princes all the time Boss?
Her chocolate chip cookies are the best!
Only when they need stuff handled.
Joe Biden handles things, too.
I’ll give it a try:
“Christmas gala”
“Silent auction”
“For the children’s _______” (home, fund, parks program)
“The irascible princess”
“He’s the king (or crown prince) of _____” (some unknown, unheard of European country where everyone speaks in received English)
“She’s from Brooklyn”