A Tough October

 

It’s been a tough couple of weeks for the extended family. Lost a young, accomplished, dynamic go-getter, a woman who touched many after a protracted battle with a late diagnosed cancer. Also lost a grande dame, family historian, humorist and the last of her generation in that family. And then a young nephew to a drug overdose. Only the last made us all ask what we could have done differently and what was missing.

Family and friends rally, children fidget in pews, there is a sermon about hope. Tears give way to stories and laughter. Babies and toddlers get hugged. We eat and reminisce. There is a familiar, healing rhythm.  I like the sameness.

Death never seems to know he is losing.

Immortals can’t experience courage. Birthdays, heroism, even family photos are all only special precisely because we end. Even the anger and pain at the moment is human and meaningful and important to share.  The quiet recovering joy in adult conversation beneath the sounds of innocence and playfulness of kids builds a kind of symphony of defiance and hope. It hurts but we still win. And get a little closer to what will always matter. 

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  1. Fritz Coolidge
    Fritz
    @Fritz

    Condolences for your losses. One of the cruelest costs of the covid lockdowns has been the denial of customary funerals and memorial services to the survivors, who need and benefit from their healing. May your loved ones rest in peace, and may you all find comfort and hope.

    • #1
  2. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    I’m so very sorry, OB. So much loss, so much sadness. May you find comfort in your faith and your loved ones who remain behind.

    • #2
  3. Gossamer Cat Coolidge
    Gossamer Cat
    @GossamerCat

    It seems that with everything else we are going through, we should all catch a break.  But alas it isn’t so.  My condolences. 

    • #3
  4. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    Tears give way to stories and laughter. Babies and toddlers get hugged. We eat and reminisce. There is a familiar, healing rhythm. I like the sameness.

    Poetry, and just wonderful.

    My sincere regrets on your losses.

    • #4
  5. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell
    @JimMcConnell

    I am sorry for your losses. That was a beautiful and moving post.

    • #5
  6. AUMom Member
    AUMom
    @AUMom

    Hear! Hear!

     

    • #6
  7. OmegaPaladin Moderator
    OmegaPaladin
    @OmegaPaladin

    Immortals can experience courage.  An immortal still has things that he can lose, like freedom (enjoy eternity encased in rock), relationships (your immortal love never wants to see you again), riches (enjoy your next few decades scrounging in the dirt), reputation (centuries of being hated/mocked), or even civilization (either the world ends or you end up in the depths of the sea)

    That’s aside from the nature of immortality, which often allows for suffering without death.  Falling into a volcano could become Hell.

    I do not cheer death, and I sympathize for the losses you suffered.

    • #7
  8. Dr. Bastiat Member
    Dr. Bastiat
    @drbastiat

    Beautiful post.

    Hang in there.

    • #8
  9. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Beautiful post.

    Hang in there.

    Ditto.

    • #9
  10. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    That is a lot for one family to bear. I am sorry for all of you, and I will keep you in my prayers. 

    • #10
  11. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    “Suppose that God gave every man the choice between a world in which there was no suffering, but also no capacity for love, or a world in which suffering remains, but everyone has the power to love. Which do you think mankind would choose? Which would you choose? Quite certainly the power to love, even at the cost of suffering. Now this is precisely what has happened. The thing which makes us able to love is free will, and it is the same thing, free-will, which makes us able to sin. Without it there would be no sin and no love in the world. Suffering is the result of sin . . . God does all he can . . . to change suffering from something that crushes and destroys us into something that exalts and renews us. This is a miracle which could be effected only by absolute love and beside which the creation of the world is pale.” — Caryll Houselander from today’s Magnificat meditation

    God bless and comfort you and the entire family. 

    • #11
  12. Giulietta Inactive
    Giulietta
    @giuliettachicago

    What heartache- my condolences. Take care of yourselves. I’m thinking of you all. 

    • #12
  13. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Sorry to hear this.  Prayers will be said . . .

    • #13
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