Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. A Tough October


It’s been a tough couple of weeks for the extended family. Lost a young, accomplished, dynamic go-getter, a woman who touched many after a protracted battle with a late diagnosed cancer. Also lost a grande dame, family historian, humorist and the last of her generation in that family. And then a young nephew to a drug overdose. Only the last made us all ask what we could have done differently and what was missing.

Family and friends rally, children fidget in pews, there is a sermon about hope. Tears give way to stories and laughter. Babies and toddlers get hugged. We eat and reminisce. There is a familiar, healing rhythm. I like the sameness.

Death never seems to know he is losing.

Immortals can’t experience courage. Birthdays, heroism, even family photos are all only special precisely because we end. Even the anger and pain at the moment is human and meaningful and important to share. The quiet recovering joy in adult conversation beneath the sounds of innocence and playfulness of kids builds a kind of symphony of defiance and hope. It hurts but we still win. And get a little closer to what will always matter. 

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  1. Fritz Coolidge

    Condolences for your losses. One of the cruelest costs of the covid lockdowns has been the denial of customary funerals and memorial services to the survivors, who need and benefit from their healing. May your loved ones rest in peace, and may you all find comfort and hope.

    • #1
    • October 24, 2020, at 3:31 PM PDT
  2. Susan Quinn Contributor

    I’m so very sorry, OB. So much loss, so much sadness. May you find comfort in your faith and your loved ones who remain behind.

    • #2
    • October 24, 2020, at 4:12 PM PDT
  3. Gossamer Cat Coolidge

    It seems that with everything else we are going through, we should all catch a break. But alas it isn’t so. My condolences. 

    • #3
    • October 24, 2020, at 4:23 PM PDT
  4. Hoyacon Member

    Tears give way to stories and laughter. Babies and toddlers get hugged. We eat and reminisce. There is a familiar, healing rhythm. I like the sameness.

    Poetry, and just wonderful.

    My sincere regrets on your losses.

    • #4
    • October 24, 2020, at 4:30 PM PDT
  5. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnellJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I am sorry for your losses. That was a beautiful and moving post.

    • #5
    • October 24, 2020, at 4:45 PM PDT
  6. AUMom Member
    AUMomJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Hear! Hear!


    • #6
    • October 24, 2020, at 4:50 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  7. OmegaPaladin Moderator

    Immortals can experience courage. An immortal still has things that he can lose, like freedom (enjoy eternity encased in rock), relationships (your immortal love never wants to see you again), riches (enjoy your next few decades scrounging in the dirt), reputation (centuries of being hated/mocked), or even civilization (either the world ends or you end up in the depths of the sea)

    That’s aside from the nature of immortality, which often allows for suffering without death. Falling into a volcano could become Hell.

    I do not cheer death, and I sympathize for the losses you suffered.

    • #7
    • October 24, 2020, at 5:00 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  8. Dr. Bastiat Member

    Beautiful post.

    Hang in there.

    • #8
    • October 24, 2020, at 5:17 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  9. The Reticulator Member

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Beautiful post.

    Hang in there.


    • #9
    • October 24, 2020, at 7:15 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  10. MarciN Member

    That is a lot for one family to bear. I am sorry for all of you, and I will keep you in my prayers. 

    • #10
    • October 24, 2020, at 7:53 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  11. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western ChauvinistJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    “Suppose that God gave every man the choice between a world in which there was no suffering, but also no capacity for love, or a world in which suffering remains, but everyone has the power to love. Which do you think mankind would choose? Which would you choose? Quite certainly the power to love, even at the cost of suffering. Now this is precisely what has happened. The thing which makes us able to love is free will, and it is the same thing, free-will, which makes us able to sin. Without it there would be no sin and no love in the world. Suffering is the result of sin . . . God does all he can . . . to change suffering from something that crushes and destroys us into something that exalts and renews us. This is a miracle which could be effected only by absolute love and beside which the creation of the world is pale.” — Caryll Houselander from today’s Magnificat meditation

    God bless and comfort you and the entire family. 

    • #11
    • October 25, 2020, at 9:40 AM PDT
  12. Giulietta Coolidge

    What heartache- my condolences. Take care of yourselves. I’m thinking of you all. 

    • #12
    • October 25, 2020, at 10:14 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  13. Stad Thatcher

    Sorry to hear this. Prayers will be said . . .

    • #13
    • October 25, 2020, at 11:19 AM PDT
    • 1 like