Victory at Pearl Harbor?

 

Transcript of the press conference held at U.S. Naval Base Pearl Harbor, December 15, 1941. Naval base commander Admiral Anthony Fauci and Army commander General Andrew Cuomo answer questions from members of the press regarding the Japanese attack eight days earlier.

Adm. Fauci: First, I would like to point out that our victory over the Japanese naval and air forces last week could not have been achieved without the outstanding work of Gen. Cuomo’s anti-aircraft teams.

Journalist #1: Admiral, how was that a victory? They hit every battleship and sunk four.

Gen. Cuomo: You don’t see any Jap planes overhead now, do you? That’s because we whupped ‘em.

Adm. Fauci: What is important to note is that our defensive strategy worked and that is why we have been victorious.

Journalist #2: Admiral, some are saying that this was a spectacular failure of naval intelligence and an absence of preparation. You were on record as saying that the Japanese would not come and that even if they did, it would be nothing serious. How do you respond?

Gen. Cuomo: You don’t get to ask that! Does he get to ask that?

Adm. Fauci: I don’t think that is accurate or relevant, especially given the great success our planning wrought for us in the battle.

Journalist #3: The Japanese specifically targeted larger warships, shouldn’t our preparations have focused on protecting what we knew to be the most likely targets?

Adm. Cuomo: Because we sought to protect the islands as a whole–and we did–then the most vulnerable would also be protected. The four surviving battleships and the 30 destroyers that were not hit are a testament to that success.

Journalist #2: But the Japanese didn’t aim at destroyers so how can say your preparations protected them?

Gen. Cuomo: Don’t answer that. Can’t we just toss this guy?

Journalist #4: Gen. Cuomo, the Army Air Corps aircraft were concentrated wingtip to wingtip so tightly that the attackers were able to destroy many at a time effectively knocking out much of our air defenses. Whose decision was it to concentrate our planes like that?

Gen Cuomo: First, smart guy, that had nothing to do with the number of planes lost. We are revising how we count lost planes anyway. Second, Naval intel had told us that the big threat was sabotage so we bunched them up to make them easier to watch. It was the right thing to do and not my fault.

Journalist #1: Admiral, I want to return to your claim that this was an American victory, if I may. It appears that the Japanese lost no ships, sustained maybe only 50 or 60 casualties, and only 10% of their aircraft were lost whereas we lost most of our line warships hundreds or most of our aircraft and over 2,000 dead. How is that a win?

Adm. Fauci: First, I think you need some perspective here. We were tasked with defending not just the military facilities but the Hawaiian Islands as a whole. So if I could direct your attention to this chart of total Hawaiian mortality over this most recent two week period:


As you can clearly see, the downward trend immediately after 12/7 is the direct result of the policies and plans we put in place. I call that victory. If we were defeated, that death total would still be high or even going up, wouldn’t it?
That is all for now. Thank you.

Gen. Cuomo: And I have not forgotten about you, smart guy.

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There are 12 comments.

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  1. DonG (skeptic) Coolidge
    DonG (skeptic)
    @DonG

    The important thing is that the US keeps every ship in harbor (lockdown) as long as any Japanese plane exists.

    • #1
  2. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Too bad our journalists today aren’t as curious for the truth.

    • #2
  3. Old Bathos Member
    Old Bathos
    @OldBathos

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Too bad our journalists today aren’t as curious for the truth.

    Maybe I should have added a fictional/CNN “journalist” to ask sycophantic questions.

    • #3
  4. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    Old Bathos (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Too bad our journalists today aren’t as curious for the truth.

    Maybe I should have added a fictional/CNN “journalist” to ask sycophantic questions.

    That would have made it so perfect I would have to buy a second membership to like it a second time.

    • #4
  5. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Old Bathos (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Too bad our journalists today aren’t as curious for the truth.

    Maybe I should have added a fictional/CNN “journalist” to ask sycophantic questions.

    I knew there was something missing! ;-)

    • #5
  6. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Loved the chart!

    • #6
  7. Midwest Southerner Coolidge
    Midwest Southerner
    @MidwestSoutherner

    Brilliant. 

    • #7
  8. James Gawron Inactive
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    OldB,

    When the facts don’t matter only the narrative matters then anything is possible. At least anything is possible in the mind of the idiot telling the narrative.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #8
  9. CarolJoy, Thread Hijacker Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Thread Hijacker
    @CarolJoy

    And for those here who would  quibble with the victory Fauci gave the USA on Dec 7th 1941, I ask: why?

    Besides, remember once every citizen in the Hawai’ian islands is vaccinated, the Japanese war planes will not be able to drop a single bomb on them. Pfizer, Merck and Moderna all have studies  that definitively prove that side effect of their programs.

     

    • #9
  10. ToryWarWriter Coolidge
    ToryWarWriter
    @ToryWarWriter

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Too bad our journalists today aren’t as curious for the truth.

    You want to see some curious Journalists.  Watch LBC on Youtube.  They are destroying the MPs in UK that come on there shows.

    This was brutal.  The Minister sounded like a 5 year old saying.  “All the other countries are doing it.”

    I kept expecting Julia to say if all the other countries jumped off a bridge…

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    • #10
  11. MichaelKennedy Inactive
    MichaelKennedy
    @MichaelKennedy

    I agree about reporters. Any reporter who asked an embarrassing question like that would be working for the Deadwood News the next week.

    • #11
  12. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    I’ll just point out that in the aftermath of Pearl Harbor, MacArthur became a national hero, even though he had several hours of warning after the attack on Pearl Harbor, but still managed to get caught with his pants down and his airforce on the ground where it was wiped out.

     

    • #12
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