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Procrastination or ‘Why It’s Easier to Deep-Clean My Coffeemaker When I Should Be Doing Laundry
I have four days off in a row. This is almost unheard of on my particular nursing unit. It just so happened that I was scheduled this way and it benefited me. I didn’t do it on purpose, it just worked out that way.
The house is a mess. My folks moved and, in that move, decided to give me back everything I’ve ever owned and stored in their massive garage. It’s fine, I tell myself, it’s my stuff after all. Yes, it’s keepsakes from my childhood and books, but it’s also old clothes left behind when I moved two years ago. It’s fine. It’s fine.
I know it needs to be done. The kitchen is also a mess. The floors need to be mopped and I’ve been having some plumbing issues.
Monday: I tidied a little, had a doctor’s appointment. Took care of ailing bird.
Tuesday: I attempted to be useful but my shoulder was hurting and I had physical therapy. In general, I’m also getting depressed from being home so much and dealing with my child’s own school issues. I wrote the day off. Leftovers for dinner. Whatever.
It’s now Wednesday. I’m awake before noon. (Go team!) The house is a mess, boxes are all over for things that need to be put away or sent to Goodwill. The kitchen is gawd awful. I need to do laundry before I go to work on Friday so my scrubs can get appropriately cleaned. I need to clean the new towels so that I can actually use them. The bird has left seed everywhere, so that needs to be tidied up. I need to shred documents so that when I go back to work, my bag will be lighter.
Thursday is a very, very full day. Doctors appointments for everyone tomorrow, so I need to prepare what I’m going to feed everyone for dinner ahead of time.
Friday I go back to work.
So what am I doing?
I’m deep cleaning my coffeemaker. It’s been bothering me for ages, so I got the CLR and I’m cleaning the thing like a madwoman. I’ve scrubbed it, I’ve hand-washed the internal reservoir that managed to get coffee grounds in it, I’m deep cleaning the carafe. In the meantime, the rest of the house looks … exactly the same.
Why is it easier to fixate on small things rather than the big things that really need to be done? Why is it so much easier?
It could be said that it is because these small things are successes. These small things are known projects that can be completed with minimal energy loss and relatively easily. These are things that I need in my life. But they don’t help me with the larger projects that are required just to live a sane life.
I am clearly not sane.
So what is it then when we have things to do but then choose to do something else? Surely it has a name? Not just procrastination. I’m doing something useful, I swear, so it can’t be procrastination.
So what is it, then?
Published in General
She’s right. When you give it your all at work, you need to decompress when you have time off. I tend to procrastinate too (“Never put off today what you can wait and put off tomorrow.”), so every small victory seems like a major accomplishment.
You know what–this is such an important point. When I’ve been working all week (and my work situation right now is not demanding compared to most people’s–I can’t even imagine doing 40 plus hours in a medical field) I’ll look forward to the weekend as a time to address all the neglected chores around the house. I have a backlog, too, of papers to sort and items to go through, and belongings from a recent move all sitting in my office. Yet, some Saturdays, pomodoro or no pomodoro, my mind is eager, but my flesh is weak. I won’t even have the energy to write on Ricochet. Instead, I’ll eke out my day sitting in front of the computer, watching whatever is moving on the TV screen, maybe sitting down and thumbing through a book. Noooo! It’s not what I wanted. But perhaps it’s what my body needed. And sometimes, it will take a whole weekend, or even days, to clear my brain enough to get back on a good track, depending on how demanding with due dates, etc. the previous week was.
Here are some things I’ve pondered in connection with this:
–In the old days, when our actual physical survival depended on getting things done, we didn’t always have the option to “let down” until we could recover. Our ability to do so now is a gift.
–How exhausted we feel can be in proportion to how stressful and demanding our lives are/were. Getting all that done with family and work exacts an outpouring of focus and surges of energy/chemicals to keep us intense, such that your body needs time to recuperate.
–Maybe plan a whole or half day of rest in advance, so you don’t feel guilty for doing so. It’s purposeful. Get out of the stressful, visually loud surroundings of your house and do something outdoors with the kids.
–Increments work. As stated above, even the tiny bit with the coffee pot makes a difference in the end. Ten minutes here, a half hour there–do it every day, and it will add up.
P.S.: Being able to hire a little help is a gift of our era, too. Working with someone gives me more energy and heart. I’ve paid someone to come alongside me and do all kinds tasks that would have gone undone until the end of time if she hadn’t been there. A responsible (homeschooled, with lots of siblings) teenager might agree to work for 10-15 dollars an hour. Three hours on two Saturday afternoons– a hundred dollars– and you may have made enough progress to see the way clearly in front of you.
Lately, my younger daughter, now 19, has fulfilled this role for me, always agreeing when I ask to step up and work with me in the wretched loft or wherever for “30 minutes” (it almost always runs longer). What a difference it makes.
You are absolutely right. But in the old days, we didn’t have the type of emotional stress. It’s odd to think, but back then things were easier because it was pinned to survival, actual survival, not 2nd degree survival (if I do this, then I’ll lose my job, then I’ll lose my house, then I’ll be homeless, then…). The stress and exhaustion were different.
A good example is camping.
I love camping. There’s no signal. You’re out in nature. Food tastes better, the sun shines brighter, and generally, I sleep better. Everything kind of realigns.
I haven’t been camping for a few years. I really do think that it is wise for us to go out in nature every few months, go camping, get away from electronics, and let your body and nature realign to a more natural schedule. We eat, we play, we sleep. But when camping, we tend to do it by the sun and moon, not by the clock. It really might be time to do that.
I cleaned my coffee pot too, after I saw the grunge in it, and could not believe we were drinking coffee from it – so kudos on that. If you can afford it, do you know a housekeeper that can just come through at a cheap rate and get it cleaned up? They have all the supplies and can get it done fast. What you’ll have back is your mental and physical health and would be worth it. Call the Good Will and give them the boxes. Then take a week off and rest. You are worth it – you work hard and are a mother.
It’s like you read my mind! In a few weeks I have a friend coming out who will (literally) do the heavy lifting for me. It will be good to have companionship, but also to have someone to go through all of my crap with me, keep me on task, and get some stuff done.
I have a counselor who regularly encourages me to “keep my tank full” to give me the fuel to face the hard things in my life. She helped me discover what those things were via an acronym–writing on Ricochet is almost number 1–and reminds me that time spent on those things is important, and can be prioritized without guilt. I was actually pretty good at doing walks and talks and Ricochet already–they are close and accessible–but it was good to know that those things help keep me going and can be simply enjoyed.
It sounds as if camping is one of those things that fill your tank, but you haven’t gotten to do it recently.
I’m working on it! When I moved, my mom was going to gift me a day with her cleaning lady…to deep clean and organize. But to do that, I have to unpack and get rid of stuff. And that… that’s a post all unto itself.
Lastly, it’s funny that this post is getting so much attention. We can all relate. RN – the last time we moved was 2014. The moving truck piled the boxes that filled the living room. I was pooped before I opened the first one. I asked a housekeeper I know to help me. She sent over two girls. They unpacked everything, put the books on bookshelves, dishes in the cupboard, linens in the closet, clothes in the closet – they even cut up the boxes, put on the roadside and took anything I didn’t want – nicknacks, old towels, pictures, kitchen stuff.
Your mom’s offer is perfect. Let them deep clean and unpack. All you do is direct, and they can haul off discards, deep clean and put everything up the way you want it. Your life will get a lot better fast.
I need those people!
The conversion turned out very well. Now I have to get it where the family can identify the people in the video (film).