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What if I Kill Someone?
It could be a matter of life or death. That reality struck a chord with me a few months ago, when I received my concealed carry permit and continued my online training.
For those of you who have read my gun posts, you might know that I was prepared to carry a gun on my person. The violence in the streets throughout this country, the shootings and the killings, convinced me that I needed to take my gun ownership seriously and 
be prepared to protect myself. But the more I saw the training needed to carry a gun responsibly and to minimize the possibility that no one was unnecessarily killed, my ambivalence set in. We signed up with USCCA which offered excellent videos, with a great deal of coaching about the correct responses. I realized that there were multiple scenarios I might find myself in, many of them demanding different responses to an armed person. I might encounter a person in a poorly lit parking garage. I might be eating lunch in a restaurant with a friend. I might be shopping for groceries. Any one of those situations would require that I be alert and prepared to respond so that no one would be killed unnecessarily. And that included me.
With that understanding in mind, one evening, after we’d talked about getting additional live training with an instructor, I told my husband that I just didn’t think I could carry. It would require my finding time to practice several times a week in drawing the gun, unjamming a gun, being situationally aware—the need to be well-prepared felt overwhelming. And as ridiculous as it sounded, I was concerned about actually killing a person. You learn that you don’t want to draw a gun unless you have to do it. But if you know your life is threatened, you need to be prepared to shoot, perhaps kill, the other person. Or you might die.
My husband was disappointed. But after thinking about it, he made a proposal. We were already pretty well trained in handling a gun; we shoot at a range every two weeks. He suggested that we go ahead with the situational training, and if I didn’t feel prepared to carry afterward, he would respect my decision. (I knew he’d be disappointed, but he would honor his promise.)
I know that many new gun owners in Florida have a minimal amount of training and probably rarely practice. I know that I respond well to the most urgent situations. I know that I take guns more seriously than many people around me. But all the training in the world won’t guarantee my response in an emergency situation.
So, Tuesday we will head south, stopping at an animal rescue facility and staying overnight in Okeechobee, for training to begin on Wednesday morning through Friday afternoon. The instructor will be working with just the two of us. I hope my decision about whether to carry or not becomes much clearer when we are finished.
It could be a matter of life or death.
Published in Guns
@toddg, thanks so much! Wonderful input! I don’t know the name of our trainer, but Sam is ours, or if I bump into him, I’ll tell him you said hello. I feel encouraged and as if I’m on the right path. I can’t thank you enough for chiming in!
BTW, I live in Poinciana, FL
You’re questioning whether you could use it and that is not a good sign. Before you carry and draw you must be absolutely convinced that you are prepared to pump lead into center mass. Any hesitation and you’re dead.
If you’re training at Markham Park in Sunrise, it’s probably Sam. Either way, it’s likely near a Don Pan for Cuban Coffee and pastries. Have fun!
Other useful-but-not-obvious courses I’ve taken this year are for Use of Pepper Spray (yeah, I volunteered to get sprayed-oops) and Tactical Casulty Care. Both were very worthwhile. The instructor trains on a variety of ranges in CenFl. If you’d like to get on his mailing list I’ll PM you his contact info. He offers a wide variety of basic-to-advanced firearms and outdoor safey classes.
I was on a field trip with a church group and we went to our local police department. (No, there were no handcuffs involved. It was a church group.) One of the officers sprayed a cinderblock wall and invited us to take a whiff from a foot away or so. Yeah, that stuff will get your attention.
The assumption there would be that if the perp escapes, they won’t be a danger to anyone else? Maybe not come around for your daughter, or other people? I’m not sure that’s a good bet.
If you carry, but can’t bring yourself to use it, you might provide a(nother) weapon to a criminal.
A couple of you have mentioned that. If I carry, I will use it (if called for).
Being cleared on a self-defense shooting is not always a good bet, either.
Also true, and if that’s a significant concern for someone, maybe they shouldn’t carry either. For the same reasons: if you hesitate, you might be the one dead, and/or your weapon could be taken and used against yourself and others.
If the King of England visits America and he is an insufferable leftie. I urge you to carry in case he wants to start raising taxes. I like the English and I hope it doesn’t come to that but we have a legacy to defend.
This was a quote by Benjamin Franklin.
Sorry to be Machiavellian about it, but, barring a danger to my kin, not my problem. In the heat of the moment, I may make a different decision, but my ‘line’ doesn’t include others outside my immediate family or friends. If I had a clear shot and someone outside my circle was in immediate danger of being killed, maybe. But that’s not my default. Cops are paid for (and have a level of legal immunity for) that, not me. And if someone else isn’t armed to defend themselves, well, maybe they should have been.
That particular scenario mimicked an armed holdup of an Ice Cream shop. The perp hadn’t shot at anyone yet, but me moving to block his escape path escalated the situation to a shooting. Lesson learned.
A defensive shooting isn’t a minor thing. I recommend folks read Andrew Branca’s Law of Self Defense book. A real eye-opener about what happens after a shoot, justified or not. Being a sheepdog has consequences I’d prefer to avoid.
Oddly enough, I don’t think I’d have much hesitation —-I really don’t. The problem is that I’m a spaz.
When I drive by traffic stops, I’m always peering over to make sure things look okay. “What would you do if they didn’t look okay?” my husband asked.
“You mean, like, if the driver of the stopped vehicle was leaping out with a gun? I’d run him over with the car. “
Whatcha gonna do about it mousy woman ?
ROARRRRR……….. Flump Flump ;)
I trust that you will make the decision that suits you best. You’re doing it exactly right, getting good training along with your husband.
In the “Refuse to be a Victim” classes that I teach, I like to emphasize that carrying a firearm isn’t for everyone, and there are plenty of good alternatives. Statistically, however, carrying a weapon of any kind isn’t the most important factor in surviving a bad situation. The single most important thing you can do is to have a plan. Think through what you will do if things go south. Recognize the situation and be prepared to execute your plan.
Two other points. First, according to studies I trust, in as many of 80% of the cases where a firearm is used defensively, it is not fired. Simply having a gun and showing that you are prepared to use it is enough to bring things to the conclusion you want.
Second and more important: your ultimate purpose is to be unharmed and to prevent harm to those with you. Avoidance is by far the best thing you can do. If something triggers your spider sense, gather up your companions and leave. If necessary, run away. If you survive, you win. Nothing else matters.
To be honest the way our government has been interpreting the law lately. Use I gave gun to protect yourself and your family may just keep you alive long enough to spend the rest of your life in jail.
A a private citizen and not an agent of the state, your primary responsibility is to yourself and your family, not random others.
Which is not to say you have no responsibility to others, just that it’s less of an issue.
I couldn’t have said it better. Family first!
Moreover, if people took better care of themselves and their family, the state would run better. Even if the the focus on the state made the state more effective and less corrupt, there is little a state can do for a broken family.
Nonsense; the state can throw infinite money at it.