Black Lives Matter Helped Me Vote!

 

Black Lives Matter (BLM) has spent the past few months burning cities, stealing whatever they can find from businesses they destroy, beating up people they suspect might disagree with them about something, and threatening even greater violence if they don’t get exactly what they want. Since BLM tends to emphasize the horrific violence more than they emphasize exactly what they want, most bystanders tend to do the same thing.

I find this ongoing charade to be unhelpful to democracy. So you can imagine my surprise when Black Lives Matter offered to help me engage in our democratic process! Their unsolicited generosity to me might have something to do with the fact that my cell phone number before it was mine, belonged to a black man named Kevin. I still get calls and texts for him, from time to time. It’s possible that the following text exchange was intended for Kevin, rather than me. But I like to think that BLM just wanted to help me out. Which I really do appreciate. I’ll put our conversation below, in a short series of screenshots:

As you can see, I first heard from my new friend Janie at Black Voters Matter yesterday. I didn’t respond until today when I got bored. I hesitated to misrepresent who I was, but I somehow suspected that Janie might not actually be named Janie, either. So what the heck. What’s a little fraud and deceitfulness among friends, like Janie and me?

Incidentally, the link ‘Janie’ had in her text sent me here:

My response was too long to fit in the conversation screen, so I’ll screenshot that separately:

My friend Janie’s response was more polite than I expected, so I responded politely as well:

As you might imagine, my preferred response would have been something like: “If you ain’t votin’ for me, you ain’t black. – Joe Biden.  Just keep doin’ what the white man says, Janie. Maybe things will get better for us. Eventually.”

But again, she was polite, so I returned the favor. And I was uncomfortable lying about who I was anyway, so I was happy to stop the conversation.

But still, this conversation left me with a few questions:

  1. Who, exactly, is paying for Black Voters Matter? I presume it’s Black Lives Matter, but I guess I’m not sure.
  2. What is their budget? I’m guessing close to unlimited. But again, I’m not sure.
  3. Is there a Janie? Or was I conversing with a computer algorithm?
  4. How did they get Kevin’s number, and how did they know he is black?
  5. I wonder how many responses like mine ‘Janie’ receives?
  6. If Kevin registered on the site she sent, I wonder if his vote would have been cast on his behalf regardless of whether he showed up or not? And I wonder who he would have voted for, if he had not voted? That’s a very cynical thought. But I can’t help but wonder…
  7. Is this just typical election year shoe-leather campaigning? Or is this an unusual response to an unusual election? Do the Democrats have polling numbers that have them trying stuff like this?

Anybody who thinks that Black Lives Matter has anything to do with Black Lives is being willfully blind. They’re just another part of the Democrat Party machine, which has oppressed blacks in one form or another for 200 years.

BLM isn’t even being hypocritical or deceitful. They’re very open about the fact that the only Black Lives that Matter to them are the ones that can be used to get Democrat votes.


I felt dirty when I put my phone down. Partially because I’d been dishonest about my identity in my conversation with ‘Janie.’ Or, possibly, with a computer somewhere.

But I also felt like I had just shaken hands with a despicable criminal. One who glorifies rapists and murderers, while attempting to destroy all that is good about America.

I wonder why I felt that way?


You should be ashamed of yourself, Janie.  You don’t care who Kevin is, or what he thinks about anything.  You don’t even care if he votes.

All you care about is harvesting more Democrat votes.  And you call it Black Voters Matter.

No, they don’t.  Not to you.  Unless they vote Democrat.

This has nothing to do with race.

You’re just another Democrat hustler.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

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  1. Eustace C. Scrubb Member
    Eustace C. Scrubb
    @EustaceCScrubb

    I keep on getting requests on my phone number for ex-number keeper, “Nicole”. She must have been a big supporter, and these folks seem disappointed when I let them know I’ll be supporting the Republicans. But, as a rule, they tend to be polite about it. 

    • #1
  2. JoelB Member
    JoelB
    @JoelB

    I sometimes answer phone solicitations in Spanish and say En Espanol, por favor. If they go on in English, I say no comprendo and hang up. I will probably feel embarassed on the day that one of them answers me in Spanish, because what I have written is pretty near my limit in the language.

    • #2
  3. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Hahahaha!  You made my day!  I was still fuming about those protesters at the LA hospital treating the police officers who were shot.

    • #3
  4. Dr. Bastiat Member
    Dr. Bastiat
    @drbastiat

    One other thing I wondered about was this:  If I was speaking with a real person on the other end of that phone, I wonder if that person is black?  I’d bet a fair amount of money that s/he is not.

    Could be wrong, of course…

    • #4
  5. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    Dr. Bastiat:

     

     

     

     

    I knew I’d seen that guy somewhere.

    • #5
  6. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Dr. Bastiat:

    But still, this conversation left me with a few questions:

    1. Who, exactly, is paying for Black Voters Matter? I presume it’s Black Lives Matter, but I guess I’m not sure.

    2. What is their budget? I’m guessing close to unlimited. But again, I’m not sure.

    Don’t know.

    3. Is there a Janie? Or was I conversing with a computer algorithm?

    Software that could determine from your response that you weren’t in the Biden camp would need to be extremely sophisticated. I doubt they have technology like that.

    4. How did they get Kevin’s number, and how did they know he is black?

    Names and numbers that were culled from a list where African-Americans are believed to predominate.

    5. I wonder how many responses like mine ‘Janie’ receives?

    A lot, I hope.

    6. If Kevin registered on the site she sent, I wonder if his vote would have been cast on his behalf regardless of whether he showed up or not? And I wonder who he would have voted for, if he had not voted? That’s a very cynical thought. But I can’t help but wonder…

    But … but … that would be illegal.

    7. Is this just typical election year shoe-leather campaigning? Or is this an unusual response to an unusual election? Do the Democrats have polling numbers that have them trying stuff like this?

    Cheaters cheat; for practice if not for purpose.

    I felt dirty when I put my phone down. Partially because I’d been dishonest about my identity in my conversation with ‘Janie.’ Or, possibly, with a computer somewhere.

    But I also felt like I had just shaken hands with a despicable criminal. One who glorifies rapists and murderers, while attempting to destroy all that is good about America.

    Jamie likely broke no laws directly. Someone would have intercepted the mail before it arrived at Kevin/your address, or they simply would have it mailed to a different address. Either way, the ballot would have been filled out for you. Does that make you feel any better?

    I wonder why I felt that way?

    You have a conscience. If it assuages your unease, you answered the question she did ask: whether or not you were registered to vote at your address. She didn’t ask if you were Kevin.

    • #6
  7. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    FYI: Embedding pictures in the text makes editing it a nightmare.

    • #7
  8. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    Percival (View Comment):

    FYI: Embedding pictures in the text makes editing it a nightmare.

    It usually takes at least one edit to get it right. What a pain.

    • #8
  9. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    Dr. Bastiat: Who, exactly, is paying for Black Voters Matter? I presume it’s Black Lives Matter, but I guess I’m not sure.

    Not sure, but I bet they know the people funding the whole machine thru ActBlue.

    • #9
  10. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):
    I’d bet a fair amount of money that s/he is not.

    Stop it, Doc.  That kind of pronoun construction is caving.

    #RealPronounsMatter.

    • #10
  11. Vance Richards Member
    Vance Richards
    @VanceRichards

    Dr. Bastiat: my preferred response would have been something like: “If you ain’t votin’ for me, you ain’t black. – Joe Biden. 

    Well, in this case that’s kinda true . . .

    • #11
  12. Old Bathos Moderator
    Old Bathos
    @OldBathos

    I get regular emails from Democratic fundraisers who think my name is “Edmund.” Is strongly suspect somebody was making campaign contributions with fake names and randomly acquired email addresses.

    • #12
  13. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    I got a text from a helpful Democrat who wanted to get me to register in Wisconsin since I was being removed from the rolls there.   I told him I would love to vote in Wisconsin, although I haven’t lived there for 12 years……

    • #13
  14. Old Bathos Moderator
    Old Bathos
    @OldBathos

    Kozak (View Comment):

    I got a text from a helpful Democrat who wanted to get me to register in Wisconsin since I was being removed from the rolls there. I told him I would love to vote in Wisconsin, although I haven’t lived there for 12 years……

    You will probably be voting there this year now that they know you are not there to get the mailings from the voter registration authorities.

    • #14
  15. Vince Guerra Member
    Vince Guerra
    @VinceGuerra

    Dude, I want to get one of those texts. My wife used to ask all phone solicitors if she could pray for them about anything. They always said ‘yes’ and she had some really insightful conversations. One time a kid asked her to pray that he could find a better job!

    • #15
  16. Hartmann von Aue Member
    Hartmann von Aue
    @HartmannvonAue

    JoelB (View Comment):

    I sometimes answer phone solicitations in Spanish and say En Espanol, por favor. If they go on in English, I say no comprendo and hang up. I will probably feel embarassed on the day that one of them answers me in Spanish, because what I have written is pretty near my limit in the language.

    Probeer het op nederlands. Oder sprich Mal Deutsch. Eller svenska. Those really confuse them.

    • #16
  17. LibertyDefender Member
    LibertyDefender
    @LibertyDefender

    Where in that 2 minute voter registration process is there anything approaching proof of citizenship?

    Where is this Pineland?

    • #17
  18. Dr. Bastiat Member
    Dr. Bastiat
    @drbastiat

    LibertyDefender (View Comment):
    Where is this Pineland?

    Pinellas is a very small, very poor town in SC, close to I-95.

    • #18
  19. Hartmann von Aue Member
    Hartmann von Aue
    @HartmannvonAue

    LibertyDefender (View Comment):

    Where in that 2 minute voter registration process is there anything approaching proof of citizenship?

    Where is this Pineland?

    Krasnovia forever!

    • #19
  20. Hartmann von Aue Member
    Hartmann von Aue
    @HartmannvonAue

    Vince Guerra (View Comment):

    Dude, I want to get one of those texts. My wife used to ask all phone solicitors if she could pray for them about anything. They always said ‘yes’ and she had some really insightful conversations. One time a kid asked her to pray that he could find a better job!

    I did this, too, back when this was an issue for us. God bless Mrs. Vince. 

    • #20
  21. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Hartmann von Aue (View Comment):

    LibertyDefender (View Comment):

    Where in that 2 minute voter registration process is there anything approaching proof of citizenship?

    Where is this Pineland?

    Krasnovia forever!

    Man, I hate Krasnovians.

    • #21
  22. Hartmann von Aue Member
    Hartmann von Aue
    @HartmannvonAue

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Hartmann von Aue (View Comment):

    LibertyDefender (View Comment):

    Where in that 2 minute voter registration process is there anything approaching proof of citizenship?

    Where is this Pineland?

    Krasnovia forever!

    Man, I hate Krasnovians.

    Do you hate Krasnovian Waffle Hounds, too? 

    • #22
  23. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    Little Miss Anthrope is registered to vote in this, her first election. She must have put our home number on the registration, because we’re getting calls from Democrats who want to talk to her. I’ve been a baaaaad mommy and screened these calls for her, but I haven’t come up with anything as clever as you, Doc. I usually just say, “No you may not speak to LMA,” or, “This is not LMA and I don’t answer polls.” Now I’m inspired. But, I’ll be good and clear my evil genius plans with LMA first. 

    • #23
  24. JosePluma Thatcher
    JosePluma
    @JosePluma

    Arrrgh!   Stealing my schtick!

     

    Good Job!!!

    • #24
  25. JosePluma Thatcher
    JosePluma
    @JosePluma

    Hartmann von Aue (View Comment):

    JoelB (View Comment):

    I sometimes answer phone solicitations in Spanish and say En Espanol, por favor. If they go on in English, I say no comprendo and hang up. I will probably feel embarassed on the day that one of them answers me in Spanish, because what I have written is pretty near my limit in the language.

    Probeer het op nederlands. Oder sprich Mal Deutsch. Eller svenska. Those really confuse them.

    Zi Stalina!!

    • #25
  26. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Hartmann von Aue (View Comment):
    Do you hate Krasnovian Waffle Hounds, too? 

    No, they actually taste pretty good.

    • #26