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If I Were Someone Else, I Wouldn’t Be Me
The theme for this month’s Group Writing challenges us to imagine a different scenario for ourselves. When I was a child, I read a lot of the Childhood of Famous Americans series from the school library. (I think I read nearly every book in the school library, and the librarian would let me come in between class changes and grab a book off the shelf without checking it out, knowing that I would read it on my lap under my desk during the more dull classes and bring it back before the end of the day.)
The stories of people like John Muir, Osceola, Babe Didrickson, Robert Fulton, Annie Oakley, Sam Clemens, Crazy Horse, and so many others moved me, inspired me, gave me ideas. I imagined myself as those people, and what I would do in the situations they faced, and I learned what I wanted in my own life. My mind was opened to amazing and strange possibilities, but I also saw the constrictions they faced, the challenges that existed for them even from a young age.
I imagined being them, but I did not want to be them. I wanted to learn from them, to imitate them in ways that worked in my life (strong, stalwart, brave, prizing education, loyal, persevering), always remembering it was my life.
The more I saw of the lives of others, the more peaceful and content I became in my own skin.
Recently, a family member asked me, rather wistfully, if I didn’t have lots of regrets in my life. I am approaching 50, which for many people is a kind of retrospective marker. After thinking about it briefly, I answered that I really truly have very few regrets, and very few that are monumental ones. Most of my regrets involve me wishing I had done something that I felt I should but that others persuaded me not to do, which in consequence has given me plenty of potentially dangerous impetus to ignore others and follow my own counsel.
I am very glad to be me. I wouldn’t say I’m pleased with myself (as a Catholic I try to examine my conscience daily and it is not always pretty), but there’s no one else I’d like to be working on. This body and soul that make me who I am are the material our Lord has given me to make it to heaven. This amazing adventure that is my life is a blessing every day. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that, but it is a truth to which I dedicate myself in love and gratitude. Aren’t you glad you’re you?
Published in Group Writing
Nat King Cole had perfect pitch.
He obviously didn’t use it 100.00 % of the time while singing, else he would sound mechanical.
But a remarkable musician, nevertheless!
CB,
Really lovely essay, thanks. My favorite parts were:
and (most especially):
Love,
Camper
So pleased to encounter another self educator. I also learned at an early age to read books on my lap while everyone else listened to the teacher drone on about 50’s things like how quickly getting under our desks would save us from an atom bomb dropped on our school. (A scary topic for sure. But it lost its fear factor after the fifteenth reiteration.)
Overall an inspiring essay. But you set a high bar right here: “This amazing adventure that is my life is a blessing every day. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that, but it is a truth to which I dedicate myself in love and gratitude. Aren’t you glad you’re you?” There are days that challenge is such an easy one. And other days I feel it is harder than climbing Everest.
Thank you for the reminders.
I wouldn’t want to be someone else, because then I wouldn’t be married to my wife.
This is going to be a bit roundabout, explaining why this was the first thing that popped into my mind on reading your post.
When I was a kid, and even moving into young adulthood, I often wished I could, if not be someone else, at least be somewhere else. I had this nagging feeling that somehow I’d been born into the wrong time (this is a common enough ailment among history majors, I’ve found), and thought that I’d have been better suited for times and places long gone, where adventure was still possible. The problem was, as I had to keep admitting to myself, was that on reflection I’m not necessarily an adventurous person, and the people I knew who were adventurous very often made a hash of their lives in seeking that “adventure” – the truth was that they were running away from things. The heroes in the adventure stories, by contrast, usually didn’t seek it out, and if you’d asked them, mid story, they were all really trying to get back to home and comfort, or eschewing all that out of higher duty, and I’m nothing if not duty oriented. Tolkien voiced this through Frodo’s conversation with Gandalf over what to do about The Ring – Frodo wanted peace too.
Back to the silly meme. When people long to be somewhere else, in some other world, they usually are picturing themselves as themselves in that world, not necessarily as one of the heroes through and through – “If I were Harry Potter, I’d do….” They’re still themselves but behind the mask of a beloved character. And they long to be in these worlds because they are, yes, full of wonders, but also because they are safe and safely bounded, meaning they think they could still be themselves in those worlds, not being changed by them, but instead becoming even more fully themselves. Like my youthful self thinking I’d have been happier in another era, they are caught in the romance, not realizing how much they are too much the product of their own times already. And faced with an unsafe and capricious nihilistic world like Game of Thrones I think people get at least a glimmer of understanding that no, this world and this time and this being they already have are quite adequate by contrast.
Ha. One night I was reading Jungle Book to my little daughter and niece. They were entranced by the story. I said to them as we put the book away, “Do you think you would like to be Mowgli?” They agreed that they would. I looked out the window at the night, where we could hear insects buzzing and other strange noises. I asked them what they would use for a bed. Or for blankets, or where they would brush their teeth, or use the potty. “It sounds wonderful,” I agreed with them, “until you think about all the everyday things. Eating raw food would be a tough one for me. And the constant bugs…” They realized they were quite happy to not be lying in a pile of leaves in the buggy forest.
Not really your point, but I recall a meme about Harry Potter, that went roughly like this:
Books 1-3 : “I’m Harry Potter – Woohoo!”
Books 4-7: “Oh [redacted], I’m Harry Potter!”
Whoever you are, don’t be shy, step up and join the conversation this month, playing off September’s theme “If I was a —, I would —.”
Interested in Group Writing topics that came before? See the handy compendium of monthly themes. Check out links in the Group Writing Group. You can also join the group to get a notification when a new monthly theme is posted.
I’d prefer to be a different person or thing. A Chinese Unicorn or a more ethical and intelligent android are among the things that I would prefer to be.
More ethical and intelligent than what or whom?