Today’s Scheduled Hysteria: The Post Office

 

From: The Mainstream Media and the Democratic National Committee
To: Useful Idiots Everywhere
Subject: Today’s Scheduled Hysteria

Dear Useful Idiots,

Here are your daily marching orders.

As you know from all our media brainwashing outlets (excluding Faux News, of course), the Trump Administration is in the process of crippling the US Postal Service, so that it will be unable to deliver mailed ballots for the November Presidential Election.

Shrieking points:

  • The USPS successfully delivers 500 million items per day (and a lot more at Christmas)
  • There could be 100 million ballots mailed over a period of eight weeks
  • Therefore, the Trump Administration is in the process of crippling the USPS to reduce its capacity to deliver mail by over 99.6 percent

In case some deplorable asks how that number is derived, and as you are probably a student in woke grievance studies who doesn’t understand grade school arithmetic:

500 million items per day
× 7 days per week
× 8 weeks
= 28 billion items.

100 million ÷ 28 billion = 0.0036

You remember how percent works right? That is 0.36% of 28 billion.

Therefore, the required reduction is: 100 – 0.36 = 99.64%

You are hereby ordered to scream and howl this in as frenzied a fashion as you can on all your social media outlets. Then this evening, go outside and bark at the moon.

Our future utopia relies on you!

Don’t let the Bad Orange Man succeed in his evil plans to destroy the United States of America!

Published in General
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There are 11 comments.

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  1. OkieSailor Member
    OkieSailor
    @OkieSailor

    Be afraid, be very afraid ;<(
    Only the all-wise government can save you!!

    • #1
  2. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    • #2
  3. JoelB Member
    JoelB
    @JoelB

    Math is hard.

    • #3
  4. OldDanRhody's speakeasy Member
    OldDanRhody's speakeasy
    @OldDanRhody

    Yesterday’s Byron York podcast is about this.

    • #4
  5. Nohaaj Coolidge
    Nohaaj
    @Nohaaj

    randallg: 500 million items per day * 7 days per week * 8 weeks = 28 billion items.

    I think the formula should be based upon 6 days of service weekly.

    First class mail is only delivered 6 days a week. That results in a miniscule adjustment to 24 Billion items, and a .4167% utility. 

     

     

    • #5
  6. kylez Member
    kylez
    @kylez

    On Friday the news announced there have been 600,000 cases of Covid in CA. The population of CA is 39.5 million.

    So 1.5% of Californians.

    • #6
  7. Locke On Member
    Locke On
    @LockeOn

    Anyone who has paid the slightest bit of attention knows that the USPS has been grossly mismanaged (with the help of Congress) for years if not decades.

    The Dems know that just as well.  This is not about fixing it, it’s about political usage of lies that they know to be untrue.  They aren’t interested in discussion, they are interested in power. 

    • #7
  8. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Fix the USPS:

    1- Deunionize the USPS and encourage swift, efficient work habits.

    2- Require shipping “junk mail” to pay 1st- class rates.

    3- Stop “book rate” shipping.

    4- Lower salaries.

    5- Lower 20-year retirement income.

    • #8
  9. Barry Jones Thatcher
    Barry Jones
    @BarryJones

    I would recommend that everyone with an interest in the PO and its ability to handle mail in ballots listen to Byron York’s most recent podcast. He spends a lot of time on the supposed “Trump is messing with the PO to steal the election” garbage but also address postal volume, PO mail delivery goals and how that may conflict with the PO’s ability to deliver mail in a timely fashion and the various States procedure for requesting and returning mail in ballots. Good, informed and informative podcast. Relevant, too. If this looks familiar to anyone it is because I just commented on a post on the members side…same kinda stuff.

    • #9
  10. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    The post office has not been this beloved since they proved Edmund Gwen really was Santa Claus.

    Someone on Twitter called me an idiot for not realizing that the USPS did a better job than FedEx or UPS and they did it cheaper. And others pointed out they don’t take tax money any longer. Except… The USPS doesn’t pay real estate taxes, vehicle registration fees or tolls. Fortune magazine calculated that alone is worth   somewhere in the neighborhood of an $18B subsidy. Give their private competition those tax breaks and they might be cheaper, too.

    • #10
  11. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    “Shrieking points.” Heh. Stealing that.

    • #11
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