We Are Missing the Best Part

 

In early June, Bravo reality star, Stassi Shoroeder was fired from her role on the series Vanderpump Rules. Known at first for her mean-girl antics, Schroeder had dramatically evolved over the eight seasons into a more compassionate human. The reason for her firing were accusations by a former castmate, none of which were denied by Schroeder. Accusations she had previously spoken about publicly and admitted her wrongdoing. You can read in detail about them here. 

I don’t defend the actions of Schoeder. But by firing or “canceling” people for their imperfections, are we missing the best part? What if Bravo hadn’t fired her and instead, they used the next season to demonstrate how to effectively hold people accountable while leaving space for them to grow? Vanderpump Rules is a reality show after all, and what better way to model the realities of reconciliation, than including Schroeder in the next season. If we truly want to move toward a world with less racism, hatred, and prejudice, we have to be willing to do the work. Shaming people for their mistakes without offering any constructive path of restoration, isn’t going to change hearts. 

If we want to change the world, we need to believe that it is possible for people to be better than their worst mistakes. Transformations aren’t born of shame. If we want to change hearts, we have to be willing to do the hard work, with them. Vanderpump Rules had the opportunity to do the work, to show how you change people’s hearts, and they missed it.

Cancel culture is a destructive trend. The more it continues the more we will miss the opportunities for true transformation. As a culture and as individuals, when we cancel people we are missing the best part. 

Published in Culture
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  1. Southern Pessimist Member
    Southern Pessimist
    @SouthernPessimist

    I went to the link and I find it hard to believe it wasn’t a Babylon Bee satire. Cancel culture will not last long now that it has become totally ridiculous and so easily mocked.

    • #1
  2. Dotorimuk Coolidge
    Dotorimuk
    @Dotorimuk

    Are there a series of Vanderpump rules, and who should follow them?

    • #2
  3. AllisonSebastiani Inactive
    AllisonSebastiani
    @AllisonSebastiani

    Southern Pessimist (View Comment):

    I went to the link and I find it hard to believe it wasn’t a Babylon Bee satire. Cancel culture will not last long now that it has become totally ridiculous and so easily mocked.

    Babylon Bee is becoming too real these days. I just don’t see the value in shaming/canceling people, when compared to the possibilities of teaching or modeling how to effectively deal with their mistakes with a chance of reconciliation and growth. 

    • #3
  4. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    AllisonSebastiani: If we truly want to move toward a world with less racism, hatred, and prejudice, we have to be willing to do the work. Shaming people for their mistakes without offering any constructive path of restoration, isn’t going to change hearts. 

    The left (owners of ‘Cancel Culture’) wants none of this.

    There is no room for forgiveness and redemption in their worldview, because that path does not lead to power.

     

    • #4
  5. AllisonSebastiani Inactive
    AllisonSebastiani
    @AllisonSebastiani

    Instugator (View Comment):

    AllisonSebastiani: If we truly want to move toward a world with less racism, hatred, and prejudice, we have to be willing to do the work. Shaming people for their mistakes without offering any constructive path of restoration, isn’t going to change hearts.

    The left (owners of ‘Cancel Culture’) wants none of this.

    There is no room for forgiveness and redemption in their worldview, because that path does not lead to power.

     

    I agree, there is currently no room for forgiveness or redemption. We need to show another, better way. 

    • #5
  6. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    AllisonSebastiani (View Comment):
    I agree, there is currently no room for forgiveness or redemption. We need to show another, better way. 

    Have you been following the events in South Africa?

    Short version: Once apartheid ended they held “Truth and Reconciliation” commissions to move past their past.

    In the last 5 years or so, the current majority government has repudiated the work the commissions did.

    It is about power, nothing else. We have already been showing the better way and the left isn’t watching. Because it isn’t about racism at all. It is about the pursuit of power.

    • #6
  7. Gatomal Inactive
    Gatomal
    @Gatomal

    I think that Stassi was one of the best parts of the show and I think it’s possible that the show will be cancelled. 

    cancelling doesn’t do anything but silence the problem. If you really want to destroy someone—keep them around. 

    • #7
  8. drlorentz Member
    drlorentz
    @drlorentz

    AllisonSebastiani

    The reason for her firing were accusations by a former castmate, none of which were denied by Schroeder. Accusations she had previously spoken about publicly and admitted her wrongdoing. You can read in detail about them here.

    Pathetic, groveling apologies are counterproductive, as is demonstrated on an almost daily basis. Such apologies merely serve to reinforce the grievance narratives that animate the Left. Stassi should apologize for her cringeworthy self-abasement:

    I am also sorry to anyone else that feels disappointed in me. I am going to continue to look closer at myself and my actions – to take the time to listen, to learn, and to take accountability for my own privilege.

    Her equally culpable pal should also apologize for this equally execrable bit of submission:

    I am now completely aware of how my privilege blinded me from the reality of law enforcement’s treatment of the black community, and how dangerous my actions could have been to her. It was never my intention to add to the injustice and imbalance. I’m ashamed, embarrassed, and incredibly sorry. I will do better. I have to do better.

    In every sense, these two made their own beds and now must endure the discomfort of lying in them. They are worthy of our pity but not our sympathy. 

    • #8
  9. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    If any fans of Vanderpump Rules were surprised …

    I am surprised “Vanderpump Rules” has any fans. I’d rather watch a test pattern.

    • #9
  10. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    drlorentz (View Comment):
    I am now completely aware of how my privilege blinded me from the reality of law enforcement’s treatment of the black community, and how dangerous my actions could have been to her. It was never my intention to add to the injustice and imbalance. I’m ashamed, embarrassed, and incredibly sorry. I will do better. I have to do better.

    This is a paraphrase of the superhero’s apology in Hancock.  Maybe it’s better to just get it tattooed on the palm of your hand and wave as you go by.

    • #10
  11. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    Percival (View Comment):

    If any fans of Vanderpump Rules were surprised …

    I am surprised “Vanderpump Rules” has any fans. I’d rather watch a test pattern.

    My first thought was that no one deserves this treatment, but my second one was that there may be better examples of people whose lives have been derailed.

    • #11
  12. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Once the revolution starts to eat its own (see French Revolution and The Terror), the revolution dissolves.

    • #12
  13. Ray Kujawa Coolidge
    Ray Kujawa
    @RayKujawa

    I’m thinking Cancel Culture might have some problem with Christianity, or at least doesn’t incorporate Christianity into their world view. A central part of Christianity is seeking and granting forgiveness. 

    What is a society like that doesn’t have forgiveness? For the Unforgiven, they can choose to: go away; drop out; kill themselves; double down on their ‘crimes’; or resign their soul to helplessness and indulge in evil behavior, thinking there is no hope of salvation for themselves anyway. None of these options provides any benefit for anyone outside of the Cancel Culture. Because there is obviously no balance possible, and because those who engage in it appear to do so willingly and with enjoyment, these people are acting maliciously. And because of that, Cancel Culture is evil.

    • #13
  14. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    Ray Kujawa (View Comment):
    None of these options provides any benefit for anyone outside of the Cancel Culture.

    There are no benefits within Cancel Culture. Outside, however, one can enjoy the schadenfreude of seeing a canceller being canceled.

    My favorite story is when reporter Aaron Calvin cancelled a good Samaritan (he unearthed 7 year old tweets by a guy who’s request for beer money went viral – the Samaritan donated the excess million+ to a children’s hospital) and was cancelled himself for the exact same offense.

    Here is Calvin’s self serving explanation.  Good Riddance.

    Ray Kujawa (View Comment):
    Cancel Culture is evil.

    This is true.

    • #14
  15. Clifford A. Brown Member
    Clifford A. Brown
    @CliffordBrown

    Stad (View Comment):

    Once the revolution starts to eat its own (see French Revolution and The Terror), the revolution dissolves.

    Not so for the new ruling elite. See Russia since the 1930s and China since the 1960s. We would understand the existential threat better if we refused to repeal “cancel” and always said “purge.”

    • #15
  16. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Clifford A. Brown (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Once the revolution starts to eat its own (see French Revolution and The Terror), the revolution dissolves.

    Not so for the new ruling elite. See Russia since the 1930s and China since the 1960s. We would understand the existential threat better if we refused to repeal “cancel” and always said “purge.”

    You’re correct, of course.  The revolution dissolves, leaving a new ruling class (or dictator) in place.

    • #16
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