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“You say you want a revolution”: Incels, Ideology, and Charles Murray
For those that are unaware, Incel is a portmanteau of “involuntary celibate,” and encompasses men who fit just what that description implies, but also a range of other behaviors and opinions. The term was originally coined by a female Canadian university student as a reference, and the name for an online support group, to people of both genders that struggled to garner romantic relationships. Incels today are almost all men and are quite far afield of the original version of that term. In addition to their virginity, they have a developed system of thought on women, society, and romantic life.
To put it bluntly, the vast majority of Incels consider women non-human. The kindest might deign to mark them as animals, or human-like creatures, hence the common use of the term “foid” (female humanoid). In their minds, women are incapable of love, loyalty, selflessness, real strength, or rational thought; they live to engage in casual relationships with high-status men (“chads”), and when they are inevitably made worthless anatomically and physically by this, spend the rest of their lives with desperate low-status men who provide them with money while they have children born of countless extramarital affairs. But maybe women who chose not to follow this path are slightly more highly regarded? No. Not even a little. Unmarried women are unimaginably selfish evildoers who live to lead on an endless stream of innocent men, and those that chose not to have children deserve instant death because they haven’t fulfilled the one purpose that women have in the world as breeding sows.
Educated women, career women, and the vast majority of women over the age of 18 are given to similar contempt. The first two groups because they had nothing to do with their own success, which was earned solely from their bodies and looks, and the third because all women over that age (often much younger) are regarded as “used up”, having already had hundreds of partners. Simply put, their “femoids” have no intelligence except cunning, no worth except as objects, and no reason to exist outside of the biological imperative. In keeping with this lovely and totally rational system of thought, female survivors of sexual assault are the lowest of the low, and in incels terms not only deserved what happened to them but enjoyed it, labeling it a violation only when it happened at the hands of an unattractive man.
“Soyciety”* perpetuates this state of affairs, and helps to keep Incels, as well as their MGTOW, red pill*, and black pill* brethren, down. Incel history posits that until the early 20th century, men had been in absolute control of every civilization that ever existed, and that the West made a mistake in granting women wider rights and equal status with men. Societies like Saudi Arabia, where women are treated as property and have little to no say in everything from government to their own personal lives, are the ideal from which the West has strayed, and will eventually overtake the West. Men are second class citizens and should unite to rise up and take back their traditional rights in order to put history back to rights, consigning universal suffrage and consent laws, among many other things, to the past. They are enthused to use concentration camps (which would double as breeding centers) and widespread sexual assault as weapons in carrying out that revolution, which would be easily won when all men realized the truth of their ideas, and because women are so inferior in physical strength and intelligence.
Naturally, there is also a healthy amount of racism mixed into Incel beliefs. Most buy into the standard “Jews run the world, Rothschilds are hiding under my bed and stopping me from getting women, using capitalism to enslave me” line. They also have a deep obsession with height, skin color, race characteristics, and canthal tilt; women are hypergamous (always seek to marry those of a higher genetic and social position) and thus Incels are denied their “looksmatch”, as is almost any man under 6” who doesn’t look like he just stepped out of a Harlequin romance novel. It should also be noted that their ratings of women are wild, with most supermodels falling into the 5-6 range on a 10 scale, in large part because they either don’t look like 2-D Japanese anime girls or because they lack the features that make men attractive (height, strong jaw, etc).
Of course, in a society like this, especially when women are beings of such evil, Incels are incapable of having romantic lives. Some try to blend in as socially normal, while others run to the other extreme, becoming NEETs (not in education or training) who take up residence in their parents’ basements and/or live off of government benefits. Few have hobbies beyond viewing adult material, video games, “blackpill” philosophy, and spending hours on Incel and related forums (many of which encourage pedophilia and the grooming of younger female relatives, hence they are often hosted on servers outside the US). They occasionally report on their interactions with females in the real world, largely adding up to detailed first-person narratives about a history of anti-social, abusive, and sometimes all-out criminal behavior. A few, both in the US and abroad, have committed large scale violence, like school shootings, and estimates put their numbers anywhere from the thousands to the hundreds of thousands.
What causes this phenomenon? Incels have received a lot of press, even internationally, in the last few years, and the majority of those detailed reports hit the nail on the head; untreated mental illness, closeted homosexuality, poor family relationships, and/or simple malignancy are the main ones. But I would like to posit another, which is both economic and philosophical. Charles Murray, in Coming Apart, argued that men in “Fishtowns”, areas of low economic development with poor social cohesion or community formation, were vastly more likely to turn to drugs, crime, dependency, and suicide than counterparts from higher economic statuses with more coherent communities. I think Incels fit into this, but not in a neat, tidy way.
Some percentage of them, in addition to the other issues listed above, do choose to become Incels because of the impact of the factors Murray explored, in the same way, that their counterparts might choose drugs. Bad backgrounds will always have an impact. However, some measures of incels come from “Belmont” rather than “Fishtown” and have a variety of options presented to them in life, a pretty great amount of privilege in some cases. And I think their anger, and Incel status, flows from a sense of entitlement. Life has not been perfect since childhood and when they see others of the same background, and even worse ones, flourishing, rather than seeking to find the font of their romantic (and other) issues, they shift blame. Many tales are told in Incel forums of young men dropping out of high school and college because all was not as they expected; women didn’t throw themselves at them, courses were challenging (although all “foids” will obviously pass because of their sex), and social lives took effort. In essence, they absorbed and idealized a warped picture of 1950s America (one which conveniently cut out a lot of the casual racism and some women’s dependency on drugs as the post-war society demanded that they give up jobs which had given their lives purpose), and feel that they deserve a white picket fence, three kids, a dog, and a loving wife. Society, romantic norms, and evil women like me, who chose careers over marriage with kids (and engage in male pursuits like boxing and higher education), are the root of their problems and must be eliminated in order to re-establish paradise.
I’ll end this on a slightly preachy note. If you have a child, grandchild, or friend that you think might be falling into an ideology like this, please reach out to them. Communities like those centered around Incel ideology are borderline cults, and they do as much damage to their members as their members seek to do to women at large. Some men get out, but other men end up ruining their lives (and others’) in pursuit of fulfilling Incel thought, and any time that can be prevented from happening is a wonderful thing.
* “Soyciety” = Present-day society, which has been robbed of ‘manly’ virtue by allowing women equal rights and status to men. The soy moniker is based on the argument that soy introduces high amounts of estrogen to the body, and Soyciety also sometimes encompasses the argument that elites are using chemical means to ‘feminize’ society through chlorinated drinking water, vaccines, etc.
*”Red Pill” = “The incel red pill can be explained by the 80/20 rule, which says that 80% of women desire just 20% of men. This means that the vast majority of men will never be desirable and consequentially will never find sexual fulfillment and happiness.”
*”Black Pill” = “The Red Pill’s nihilistic cousin. The idea behind “redpilling” is that men recognise that the world is unfair and stacked against them in favour of women. From there, they can game the system by becoming an “alpha” male, going to the gym, treating women poorly, and so on. The black pill rejects this, saying that there can be no personal solutions to systemic problems, and that the world was, is and always will be stacked against men who are “genetically inferior”, and that women are inherently wired to prefer men with particular kinds of facial features, bone structure, and body type.”
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I would say that that’s a little bit of an inaccurate stereotype. I wouldn’t deny there are some women that like ‘bad boys’, or those that go through a phase, but I think some percentage of men are guilty of the same. Just as many guys probably go after the attractive train wrecks that they think they can fix, as women who chase after ex-cons with the same goal. Most women, like most men, just want a partner that shares their values, wants to create a mutually beneficial life with them, and makes them feel loved.
Sorry, I probably should have made it more clear that I was defining the use of those terms in this context, and that they do have other, more innocuous meanings.
We’ve had sex ed for decades. You’d think at least some of this ignorance would have been addressed.
A good portion of it is willful ignorance. They think that “mainstream science” lies about sex ed (in the anatomical effects) to protect women and “chads” and their hedonistic life style. There are all kinds of diagrams, mostly involving lunch meat, that explain their perception of this phenomenon, which I really wouldn’t recommend looking at. Arby’s (remarkably) doesn’t double as a producer of accurate anatomical models.
I think that males and female look for excitement and entertainment early and commitment and respect sometime later. It separates the boys from the men and the girls from the women.
You can edit the article to make such a distinction clear (I understand there can be technical issues when attempting to edit an article once it makes it to the main feed, you might need to ask for help if that happens); those forums and the subculture you refer to might use these terms as you describe, but most online usage of these common terms is very different.
Sure. I did post the Incel Dictionary somewhere, but it hasn’t been promoted to the main feed, so I’ll do it real quick now.
I’m not interested in the opinions of a junkie who shot his wife on the subject of women.
Personal quirk of mine.
This all sounds nice and egalitarian, but, eh, I think it’s a lot more complicated than that.
Conservatives tend to like ladies it seems. Particularly the men.
One problem with the internet is that it has allowed unhappy people to find other people that are unhappy just like them. This reinforcement is not good for anybody.
If you are unhappy it is better to look inward for causes than outwards.
I don’t think that people are wired this way. Are you referring to men and women who were raised in Church.
I separate the observations from the source and take or reject the observations on their own merits. Even a junkie like Burroughs might have a valid insight.
Well Richard Pryor was one of the best comedians comedians and he liked heroin. He never shot anybody though.
And some never outgrow it. And some only do in part. And it also has to do with what martial roles (or sex-specific family roles) were modelled for you as a child and an adolescent. It’s rather complex. It’s like the mother who shouts at a toddler, “Because I said so!” and then stops in her tracks and thinks, “That’s exactly what my mother said, and I swore I’d never repeat that.” I could argue that, for many at least, none of the reasons a man or a woman choose a spouse or choose to marry are consciously known by person himself or herself.
The death of Professor Fingerbottom of Vienna as described in Naked Lunch made me laugh out loud, but only because I knew how Isadora Duncan was said to have died.
Richard Pryor apparently had a freudian excuse for being messed up (extremely NSW off-topic material coming up, I honestly just use any possible excuse to post these things):
Like blind pigs finding acorns, if it happens, it is by luck.
@kirkianwanderer
I think you are missing a few elements of the origin of Incel culture, such as it is. For one, people don’t like feeling like losers. When society brands you as damaged goods, it is natural to try to turn your source of shame into a source of pride. There are plenty of people on Tumblr who view their mental illness as a source of pride. I mean things like Schizophrenia, not just various sexual disorders or transgender wackiness. There are disability activists who oppose people ceasing to be disabled. Society does not give value to potential incels, and lots of people would probably wish they died off and paved the way for the new socially just future. Incel movements say that society is evil and you are the heroic resistance. That’s a powerful narrative.
It’s also similar to the pitch for ISIS. If people believe society hates them, they will return the favor.
Another thing that you do not address is the factual bias of the justice system against men. If a woman forces you to have sex with her at gunpoint, you can expect to be responsible for the kid’s child support. In one case, a minor was raped by an older woman, and was still found liable for child support. Add in a lot of modern feminism being just a cover for misandry, and the Left’s love for turning non-political things people enjoy into political propaganda, (science fiction, comics, video games, and other traditionally male pastimes most especially) and you have a pretty convincing argument for “Soyciety” Christina Hoff Summers has talked about this in detail, and became elevated in Gamer culture as “Based Mom” (based = reliable, smart, competent) after her discussion of GamerGate. Look up her factual feminist videos on Youtube.
There are two other factors that run a bit deeper. We’ve lost a lot of traditional male group activities, and there are not as many institutions where men are cherished. One of the interesting things I learned when I looked in the Proud Boys was that they are / were a men’s fraternal organization, like a modern take on the Elks. Yeah, they fought with Antifa types, but someone needed to challenge Antifa taking over a city and running rampant. Basically, if you have groups that appeal to masculine virtues, and are not anti-male, you can outcompete the incel group.
Even below that, there’s something even more personal you can do for a potential incel – give him a hug. Seriously, we’ve made any affectionate contact by a male to be sexual / potential rape, and a man giving another man a hug an obvious sign of homosexuality. (No one likes being forced into a category they did not choose) People used to be more affectionate with each other – look at older photos, guys have their arms around each other and generally get closer than people would allow today. It’s not healthy for people to go without physical affection – for babies, that can actually kill. For relatives of a young man going into Incel mode, some hugs could help more than you imagine.
Choosing to become Incel? Isn’t the “in” for “involuntary”?
This post is quite the public service by exploring a world that is out there. You realize that by being elevated to the Main Feed, it lost the chance to be the Lileks’ Member Post of the Week.
I think you have the truth here. Also, thank you for this interesting insight into something I have only peripherally heard of.
You can be involuntarily celibate. You still have to “choose” to make it a part of your identity.
I used to tell my high school students that just because there is a line for the losers they didn’t have to stand in it.
Choosing the ideology. There’s also a debate as to whether celibacy is (or continues to be) involuntary if you deliberately chose not to interact with women or only to treat them negatively.
“A man may take to drink because he feels himself to be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks.”-George Orwell
Yeah… but I still think I made a clever point.
I think a lot of this is cultural, via movies especially in the 90’s teaching young men like me bad behavior. There is a certain dating game that not only we were not taught, but we were taught how to do it wrong, which led to a lot of frustration and sadness.
I only got better when I realized that everything I had been taught was wrong and needed to change. How many incels have allowed themselves to be ‘friend zoned’ because of there actions.
Another thing is that women are often taught that they need to except a level of perfection instead of getting a pretty good or decent guy. I know lots of lonely women who basically denied themselves happiness because they found something wrong or wouldnt settle for pretty good.
For some of what I talk about this is a good video, edit warning may not be CoC compliant.
I think what you said about men and women’s standards is true to some extent, but it’s also the inevitable (and not entirely incomprehensible) consequence of women’s greater integration into the job market; many women now hold high status or high earning positions, and want men that understand that lifestyle and/or have similar ambitions. Even using myself as an example, I would admit that while I don’t think I have absurd standards (and my conception of what constitutes an attractive male has a much wider age and ethnicity range than Incels would claim), certain things are a deal breaker for me, and career, both in a man being ambitious in his and supporting me in mine, is one of them. Basically, societal changes have given women ways that they never used to have to increase their status, and wanting the same from men is probably something behavioral economics would predict.
I don’t mind the “friend zoned” thing, but I think it can be taken to extremes, when people stop acknowledging that members of the opposite sex are also valuable in a platonic way. (I know you weren’t saying that, just a general point).
Perci Kirki & Phil,
This sounds much like the endemic racism argument of BLM. A desperate left-wing needs social enemies to castigate. Imaginary racism makes for such an enemy. Imaginary misogyny makes for another. No amount of preferential treatment for blacks or women can make up for these never-ending imaginary threats.
Of course, facts don’t matter only the narrative. Thus, blatant anti-Semitism is of no interest to the left. The fact that hate crimes per capita are the highest for Jews over every other group isn’t important. After all, that’s just a fact, not a narrative.
Regards,
Jim