Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. ‘South Pacific’: The CNN Revival Version

 

Sponsored and produced by CNN. An excerpt from the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical updated for gender correctness. You have arrived late to the theater and have taken your seat in the middle of the second song in the play. To set the scene for you, a group of restless American Seabees, led by the crafty Luther Billis, are lamenting the absence of…well…you’ll get the idea…

[SEABEES & BILLIS]

…Nothin’ else is built the same
Nothin’ in the world
As the soft and wavy frame
Like the silhouette of an individual with a cervix

There is absolutely nothin’ like a frame of an individual with a cervix

There is nothin’ you can name
That is anythin’ like an individual with a cervix!

There are no books like an individual with a cervix
And nothin’ looks like an individual with a cervix
There are no drinks like an individual with a cervix
And nothin’ thinks like an individual with a cervix
Nothin’ acts like an individual with a cervix
Or attracts like an individual with a cervix

There ain’t a thing that’s wrong with any CIS-gendered, binary, non-transgendered individual with male genitalia here
That can’t be cured by pullin’ him near
A CIS-gendered, binary, non-transgendered individual with a cervix!

Now enjoy the rest of the show.

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  1. Percival Thatcher
    Percival Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    “I’m an Individual With a Cervix” by Helen Reddy.

    • #1
    • July 31, 2020, at 6:26 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
  2. Stina Member

    I loved all the people on that tweet trying to transplain to all the yokels that insist “women” was the right word.

    They thought they sounded smart and informed. No one was buying it.

    • #2
    • July 31, 2020, at 6:31 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  3. Bruce Caward Thatcher
    Bruce Caward Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Sam and Janet.

    Sam and Janet who?

    “Sam and Janet evennning, you will see a strangerrrrrr…..”

    • #3
    • July 31, 2020, at 6:45 PM PDT
    • 11 likes
  4. Richard Fulmer Member

    Percival (View Comment):

    “I’m an Individual With a Cervix” by Helen Reddy.

    Hear me roar.

    • #4
    • July 31, 2020, at 6:59 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  5. Brian Watt Member
    Brian Watt Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    And who could ever forget the classic song from Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Flower Drum Song – “I Enjoy Being An Individual With A Cervix”?

    • #5
    • July 31, 2020, at 7:05 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  6. Percival Thatcher
    Percival Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Bruce Caward (View Comment):

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Sam and Janet.

    Sam and Janet who?

    “Sam and Janet evennning, you will see a strangerrrrrr…..”

    Go to your room.

    • #6
    • July 31, 2020, at 7:08 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  7. Percival Thatcher
    Percival Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    “I’m Gonna Wash That Individual Without a Cervix Right Out of My Hair,” Rodgers & Hammerstein.

    • #7
    • July 31, 2020, at 7:10 PM PDT
    • 9 likes
  8. Percival Thatcher
    Percival Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Bloody Mary is the young individual with a cervix that I love
    Bloody Mary is the young individual with a cervix that I love
    Bloody Mary is the young individual with a cervix that I love
    Now ain’t that too damn bad.

     

    • #8
    • July 31, 2020, at 7:15 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  9. James Gawron Thatcher
    James Gawron Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Brian,

    Space Cadets, the final frontier of the inane, where the lame and the lazy join forces in breathtaking ignorance to nauseate everyone. These are the voyages of the starship Booby Prize, its five-year mission to seek out new forms of perverse life and new worthless uncivilizations. We are boldly going to regions of stupidity where no fool has gone before.

    Sorry, Brian. I’m going to cry now.

    Regards,

    Jim

     

    • #9
    • July 31, 2020, at 7:20 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  10. Arthur Beare Member

    Stina (View Comment):

    I loved all the people on that tweet trying to transplain to all the yokels that insist “women” was the right word.

    They thought they sounded smart and informed. No one was buying it.

    Because “women” wasn’t the right word.

    • #10
    • July 31, 2020, at 8:25 PM PDT
    • Like
    • This comment has been edited.
  11. Dotorimuk Coolidge

    Xe takes just like an individual with a cervix, yes xe does
    Xe makes love just like an individual with a cervix, yes xe does
    And xe aches just like an individual with a cervix
    But xe breaks just like a little individual with a cervix.

    • #11
    • July 31, 2020, at 9:18 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  12. Stina Member

    Arthur Beare (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):

    I loved all the people on that tweet trying to transplain to all the yokels that insist “women” was the right word.

    They thought they sounded smart and informed. No one was buying it.

    Because “women” wasn’t the right word.

    I think the headline was plural.

    • #12
    • August 1, 2020, at 6:23 AM PDT
    • Like
  13. Eustace C. Scrubb Member

    My favorite moment in “My Fair Individual With a Cervix”? When Rex Harrison talk/sings, “Why can’t an individual with a cervix be more like an individual with a penis?”

    • #13
    • August 1, 2020, at 1:33 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  14. GrannyDude Member

    Bob Marley…”No, Individual With A Cervix…No Cry.” 

    Helen Reddy: “I’m An Individual With A Cervix, Here Me Roar…” But I absolutely love this:

    Eustace C. Scrubb (View Comment):

    My favorite moment in “My Fair Individual With a Cervix”? When Rex Harrison talk/sings, “Why can’t an individual with a cervix be more like an individual with a penis?”

     

    • #14
    • August 1, 2020, at 2:57 PM PDT
    • 1 like