Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Group Writing: Who’s a Good Doggerel?

 

If you hate poetry — and who doesn’t? — relax, you won’t find a trace of it here. This
post is reserved for poetry’s little brother, doggerel, verse for the common man.

To Bob the Dog: Three Areas Where You Fall Short of Perfection

Introduction

Bob, you need to work on your comportment.
You have some bad habits and an assortment
Of quirks, so I put my criticisms into dogg’rel
To help you remember, my little mongrel.

The Daily Walk

On walks, you sniff at every forken bush and tree
In a search for pheromones and bouquet of pee.
And just when I think we’re back on track,
We meet the poodle who lives in the back.
Then while my neighbor and I stare,
Your nose takes up residence in the chichi poodle’s rear.
And that, my Bobster, is an awkward occasion
When my neighbor is a person of the female persuasion.

In Bed

You take up too much space when we sleep
By orienting yourself at angle oblique.
So instead of being able to catch a few Zs,
I end up searching for a place for my knees.

At Poker

Unlike those clever dogs who play poker,
Your skills don’t rise above mediocre.
Your poker face, it’s true, can hide
Two pair of aces with a king on the side,
But your tail always betrays your fine hand:
It’s back there wagging to beat the band.

Conclusion

I’d rather not let any sleeping dogs lie,
So get yourself woke right now, little guy.

Bob the dog (AKA the Bobster, Mr. Bob, and Snaggletooth) in His Favorite Chair.
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  1. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnellJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    If you hate poetry — and who doesn’t?

    Hahahahaha! Great post.

    Also here is my dog Pepper Ann, RIP. She died a few months ago at age 18.

    That is definitely Pepper Ann’s chair, isn’t it?

    • #31
    • July 12, 2020, at 4:58 PM PDT
    • Like
  2. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Jim McConnell (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Jim McConnell (View Comment):

    Well …Thanks for the Bob photos; made my day!

    You do like your dogs, Jim. Do you have a dog yourself?

    I like Bob. No dogs now, I live in a retirement community, and think dogs and apartments shouldn’t go together.

    Jim, I think you’re the oldest Ricocheter. My 82 birthday is coming up early August. But you’re already 82, aren’t you? Or 83? Kay of MT is a few months older than I am. 

    • #32
    • July 12, 2020, at 4:59 PM PDT
    • Like
  3. Arahant Member

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    Jim, I think you’re the oldest Ricocheter.

    Don’t count on it. You never know how old some of these folks are. One of our members died last year at 91.

    • #33
    • July 12, 2020, at 5:19 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  4. T-Fiks Member

    The quail are all safe when we’re out in the field

    ‘Cause he’s clueless and crazy and never has heel’d

    But pity the rabbit who comes into our yard

    He’ll soon tangle with Zeke if he lets down his guard.

    • #34
    • July 12, 2020, at 5:47 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  5. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    T-Fiks (View Comment):

    The quail are all safe when we’re out in the field

    ‘Cause he’s clueless and crazy and never has heel’d

    But pity the rabbit who comes into our yard

    He’ll soon tangle with Zeke if he lets down his guard.

    Not too bad, Fiks. You too, Zeke, at least with rabbits. 

    • #35
    • July 12, 2020, at 6:24 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  6. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Jim McConnell (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Jim McConnell (View Comment):

    Well …Thanks for the Bob photos; made my day!

    You do like your dogs, Jim. Do you have a dog yourself?

    I like Bob. No dogs now, I live in a retirement community, and think dogs and apartments shouldn’t go together.

    I agree, Jim. Dogs need a more expansive environment than cats.

    • #36
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:10 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  7. Henry Castaigne Member

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Mr. Cheese, I don’t understand your comment.

    Nice shot of your dog. Black dogs and cats are hard to shoot. They need to be flooded with light or manipulated.

    Black labs matter.

    • #37
    • July 13, 2020, at 4:24 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  8. Tex929rr Coolidge

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Black labs matter.

    He is long gone, but here is Buster, the black mostly lab.

    • #38
    • July 13, 2020, at 4:30 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  9. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Black labs matter.

    He is long gone, but here is Buster, the black mostly lab.

    Good lookin’ dog. 

    • #39
    • July 13, 2020, at 4:57 AM PDT
    • Like
  10. Tex929rr Coolidge

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Black labs matter.

    He is long gone, but here is Buster, the black mostly lab.

    Good lookin’ dog.

    He used to like to go on walkabout but he loved riding in the car so much that I just had to find him and he would jump in.

    • #40
    • July 13, 2020, at 5:36 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
  11. RightAngles Member

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    He is long gone, but here is Buster, the black mostly lab.

    Good lookin’ dog.

    He used to like to go on walkabout but he loved riding in the car so much that I just had to find him and he would jump in.

    My mostly black lab Domino also loved car rides. You had to be careful not to say the word in front of her, or she’d practically break the door down trying to get to the driveway. After she died, I made two stock photos of her and called them “Dog Heaven.”

     

    • #41
    • July 13, 2020, at 8:41 AM PDT
    • 5 likes