Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Group Writing: Who’s a Good Doggerel?

 

If you hate poetry — and who doesn’t? — relax, you won’t find a trace of it here. This
post is reserved for poetry’s little brother, doggerel, verse for the common man.

To Bob the Dog: Three Areas Where You Fall Short of Perfection

Introduction

Bob, you need to work on your comportment.
You have some bad habits and an assortment
Of quirks, so I put my criticisms into dogg’rel
To help you remember, my little mongrel.

The Daily Walk

On walks, you sniff at every forken bush and tree
In a search for pheromones and bouquet of pee.
And just when I think we’re back on track,
We meet the poodle who lives in the back.
Then while my neighbor and I stare,
Your nose takes up residence in the chichi poodle’s rear.
And that, my Bobster, is an awkward occasion
When my neighbor is a person of the female persuasion.

In Bed

You take up too much space when we sleep
By orienting yourself at angle oblique.
So instead of being able to catch a few Zs,
I end up searching for a place for my knees.

At Poker

Unlike those clever dogs who play poker,
Your skills don’t rise above mediocre.
Your poker face, it’s true, can hide
Two pair of aces with a king on the side,
But your tail always betrays your fine hand:
It’s back there wagging to beat the band.

Conclusion

I’d rather not let any sleeping dogs lie,
So get yourself woke right now, little guy.

Bob the dog (AKA the Bobster, Mr. Bob, and Snaggletooth) in His Favorite Chair.

Published in General
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  1. PHCheese Member

    Not me nor Jack, it’s Sunday.

    • #1
    • July 12, 2020, at 6:55 AM PDT
    • 10 likes
  2. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Mr. Cheese, I don’t understand your comment.

    Nice shot of your dog. Black dogs and cats are hard to shoot. They need to be flooded with light or manipulated. 

    • #2
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:00 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  3. Front Seat Cat Member

    Who was luckier, you when you met Bob or Bob when he met you? No one’s ever written a poem about me – I mean a doggerel- maybe that’s a good thing…….PS – that sleeping pose should be on the cover of CNN to show what he thinks of Fake News………

    • #3
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:01 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  4. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):

    Who was luckier, you when you met Bob or Bob when he met you? No one’s ever written a poem about me – I mean a doggerel- maybe that’s a good thing…….PS – that sleeping pose should be on the cover of CNN to show what he thinks of Fake News………

    We do get along, Ms. Cat.

    I would write a poem about you if you could learn to sleep at the end of my bed without getting in the way of my legs. 

    • #4
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:03 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  5. The Reticulator Member

    You get points for rhyming doggerel and mongrel. Unfortunately, there is also the rest of it.

    • #5
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:10 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  6. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Retic, thanks for appreciating that one rhyme. I cheated on that one. I elided a syllable on “doggerel” to make it fit.

    You’ve hurt my feelings, however, for dissing the rest. What about “tree” and “bouquet of pee”? Com’on, man, I’m old and a therefore a victim. That means I get a break whenever I do anything.

    • #6
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:18 AM PDT
    • 9 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  7. Richard Fulmer Member

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    You take up too much space when we sleep
    By orienting yourself at angle oblique.

    You get extra points for this rhyme.

    • #7
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:25 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  8. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Richard Fulmer (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    You take up too much space when we sleep
    By orienting yourself at angle oblique.

    You get extra points for this rhyme.

    Deservedly so, Richard.

    Retic, though, passed right over like it was a nothing-burger — or like I was rhyming, oh, “love” and “turtledove.” Retic has no respect for really old people.

    • #8
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:32 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  9. The Reticulator Member

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Retic, thanks for appreciating one that one rhyme. I cheated on that one. I elided a syllable on “doggerel” to make it fit.

    You’ve hurt my feelings, however, for dissing the rest. What about “tree” and “bouquet of pee”? Com’on, man, I’m old and a therefore a victim. That means I get a break whenever I do anything.

    Well, OK. The rhymes are all good. 

    Did you build all the wooden furniture in that photo? That’s good, too. 

    • #9
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:33 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  10. The Reticulator Member

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Retic, thanks for appreciating one that one rhyme. I cheated on that one. I elided a syllable on “doggerel” to make it fit.

    You’ve hurt my feelings, however, for dissing the rest. What about “tree” and “bouquet of pee”? Com’on, man, I’m old and a therefore a victim. That means I get a break whenever I do anything.

    Well, OK. The rhymes are all good.

    Did you build all the wooden furniture in that photo? That’s good, too.

    Also, your title was clever. 

    • #10
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:34 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  11. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Retic, thanks for appreciating one that one rhyme. I cheated on that one. I elided a syllable on “doggerel” to make it fit.

    You’ve hurt my feelings, however, for dissing the rest. What about “tree” and “bouquet of pee”? Com’on, man, I’m old and a therefore a victim. That means I get a break whenever I do anything.

    Well, OK. The rhymes are all good.

    Did you build all the wooden furniture in that photo? That’s good, too.

    It’s too late, Retic, to make amends. But thanks for trying.

    Yes, I did make both pieces of furniture, the display cabinet and the long side table (used to be called a groaning table) in the dining room. I’m done with all that, but I enjoy having the pieces around. I made most of the furniture in our house. 

    • #11
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:38 AM PDT
    • 6 likes
  12. Tex929rr Coolidge

    The barber shop my dad would take me to (early 60’s) had the dogs playing poker prints on the wall, which I found endlessly fascinating.

    • #12
    • July 12, 2020, at 7:53 AM PDT
    • 6 likes
  13. PHCheese Member

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Mr. Cheese, I don’t understand your comment.

    Nice shot of your dog. Black dogs and cats are hard to shoot. They need to be flooded with light or manipulated.

    Your question was “who is a good doggerel” , my answer is not me nor Jack, it’s Sunday. It’s against my religion to doggerel on Sunday . Jack is never good at it any day of the week. Understand now?

    • #13
    • July 12, 2020, at 8:11 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  14. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    The barber shop my dad would take me to (early 60’s) had the dogs playing poker prints on the wall, which I found endlessly fascinating.

    Darn, I thought I was probably the first to think of that joke above. It’s even funnier in a cartoon.

    • #14
    • July 12, 2020, at 8:24 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  15. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    PHCheese (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Mr. Cheese, I don’t understand your comment.

    Nice shot of your dog. Black dogs and cats are hard to shoot. They need to be flooded with light or manipulated.

    Your question was “who is a good doggerel” , my answer is not me nor Jack, it’s Sunday. It’s against my religion to doggerel on Sunday . Jack is never good at it any day of the week. Understand now?

    You ask a lot of your readers, Mr. Cheese.

    • #15
    • July 12, 2020, at 8:25 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  16. PHCheese Member

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    PHCheese (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Mr. Cheese, I don’t understand your comment.

    Nice shot of your dog. Black dogs and cats are hard to shoot. They need to be flooded with light or manipulated.

    Your question was “who is a good doggerel” , my answer is not me nor Jack, it’s Sunday. It’s against my religion to doggerel on Sunday . Jack is never good at it any day of the week. Understand now?

    You ask a lot of your readers, Mr. Cheese.

    Jack does the asking on Sundays.

    • #16
    • July 12, 2020, at 8:33 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  17. Old Buckeye Member

    I (heart) Bob! Also liked your doggerel, Kent. 

    • #17
    • July 12, 2020, at 8:43 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  18. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Old Buckeye (View Comment):

    I (heart) Bob! Also liked your doggerel, Kent.

    Thanks, Buckeye. You wouldn’t believe how much time I spent on those rhymes. I’m not used to writing couplets. I discovered it’s hard, at least for me, to rhyme and make sense at the same time. 

    • #18
    • July 12, 2020, at 8:48 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  19. Front Seat Cat Member

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Old Buckeye (View Comment):

    I (heart) Bob! Also liked your doggerel, Kent.

    Thanks, Buckeye. You wouldn’t believe how much time I spent on those rhymes. I’m not used to writing couplets. I discovered it’s hard, at least for me, to rhyme and make sense at the same time.

    That rhymes too…..you’re getting better.

    • #19
    • July 12, 2020, at 8:58 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  20. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Old Buckeye (View Comment):

    I (heart) Bob! Also liked your doggerel, Kent.

    Thanks, Buckeye. You wouldn’t believe how much time I spent on those rhymes. I’m not used to writing couplets. I discovered it’s hard, at least for me, to rhyme and make sense at the same time.

    That rhymes too…..you’re getting better.

    See how bad I am. I don’t even know when I’m rhyming. Ms. Cat, why don’t you challenge yourself by writing your next post in rhyming couplets?

    • #20
    • July 12, 2020, at 9:05 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  21. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Well …Thanks for the Bob photos; made my day!

    • #21
    • July 12, 2020, at 9:17 AM PDT
    • Like
  22. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    Jim McConnell (View Comment):

    Well …Thanks for the Bob photos; made my day!

    You do like your dogs, Jim. Do you have a dog yourself?

    • #22
    • July 12, 2020, at 9:19 AM PDT
    • Like
  23. JosePluma Thatcher

    Stripey dog, stripey dog,

    Lying on the couch.

    When I walk by, you wag your tail

    It whips my knee, ouch!

    • #23
    • July 12, 2020, at 9:23 AM PDT
    • 8 likes
  24. KentForrester Moderator
    KentForrester

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    Stripey dog, stripey dog,

    Lying on the couch.

    When I walk by, you wag your tail

    It whips my knee, ouch!

    Good one, Jose, though that “ouch” looks a little forced. (Now that I’ve written one poem, I’ve become an expert in all things poetic.) BTW, what kind of dog is that? He looks mean, like a guard dog.

    • #24
    • July 12, 2020, at 9:30 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  25. Arahant Member

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    Stripey dog, stripey dog,

    Lying on the couch.

    When I walk by, you wag your tail

    It whips my knee, ouch!

    A brindled hound.

    • #25
    • July 12, 2020, at 12:37 PM PDT
    • Like
  26. JosePluma Thatcher

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    Stripey dog, stripey dog,

    Lying on the couch.

    When I walk by, you wag your tail

    It whips my knee, ouch!

    Good one, Jose, though that “ouch” looks a little forced. (Now that I’ve written one poem, I’ve become an expert in all things poetic.) BTW, what kind of dog is that? He looks mean, like a guard dog.

    I didn’t know you wanted good doggerel. I shoulda read the title.

    She’s an Italian Mastiff or Cane Corso. She weighs 85 pounds, has a mouth as big as a baseball mitt and is sweet and gentle as a lamb (but has a vicious tail).

    • #26
    • July 12, 2020, at 12:43 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  27. RightAngles Member

    If you hate poetry — and who doesn’t?

    Hahahahaha! Great post.

    Also here is my dog Pepper Ann, RIP. She died a few months ago at age 18.

    • #27
    • July 12, 2020, at 1:50 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  28. Clifford A. Brown Contributor

    Who’s a very good doggerel? Roll your own or share a bit of verse you like or dislike as part of our July Group Writing theme: “The Doggerel Days of Summer.”

    Interested in Group Writing topics that came before? See the handy compendium of monthly themes. Check out links in the Group Writing Group. You can also join the group to get a notification when a new monthly theme is posted.

    • #28
    • July 12, 2020, at 2:01 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  29. Tex929rr Coolidge

    I found a birthday card years ago which had a picture of a dog on the front. The inside was a dog poem:

    Roses are red

    Violets are blue

    Sometimes I like

    To drink from the toilet

    and this may be my favorite Far Side ever. Because that’s exactly how a dog would mow the lawn.

    • #29
    • July 12, 2020, at 2:03 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  30. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Jim McConnell (View Comment):

    Well …Thanks for the Bob photos; made my day!

    You do like your dogs, Jim. Do you have a dog yourself?

    I like Bob. No dogs now, I live in a retirement community, and think dogs and apartments shouldn’t go together.

    • #30
    • July 12, 2020, at 4:55 PM PDT
    • 1 like