Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Grandpa Reminisces about Homonyms He’s Crossed

 

Ever start thinking about a subject and have your brain reply to a thought with an eyeroll and, “Yes, Grandpa, you have told us about that before.” I was thinking about homonyms, never mind why, and thinking how they must be the bane of most writers’ existences. They are certainly mine.

Now, everyone who writes knows to watch for the common combinations. They’re the ones people get berated for most often on Farcebook and Twender. You know the ones: they’re/there/their and your/you’re/yore. (In days or you’re we used that word a lot.) But there are so many more homonyms that writers stumble over. It’s (ooh, another pair: its/it’s) just the way the brain works while we are composing a bit of text. Once we learn to type at a decent speed, the brain starts to go on semi-automatic. Pull the trigger by thinking of a word and the hands type it out. Or they type something like the word out. Usually it is a homophone.

Homonyms come in two types: homophones and homographs. (“Yes, Grandpa, we know.”) Homophones sound alike, but are spelled differently, like the metal “lead” and the action an army officer might do in the past (passed?) tense, “led.” That is opposed to homographs, which are spelled the same, but are pronounced differently. But what really can drive a writer to drink is the homophones that have homographs and vice versa. Like “read” and “read.” These two words are pronounced just like “reed” and “red.” And then there is the truly dreaded combination of desserts/deserts. Desert is actually a pair (or technically a quadruplet) of homographs. There are two related words that have the first syllable accented, such as the Gobi Desert, and there are two words that have the second syllable accented, meaning either one’s deserved reward (just deserts) or the action of getting out of the area and leaving your buds to face the music without you. Then there is the treat we have after a meal, which is spelled “dessert,” but pronounced like the latter pair of “deserts.”

Some of my favorite things that I discovered to my horror that my brain and fingers have misaligned on were typing “clamor” when I meant “clamber” and “climate” when I meant “climb it.” To be fair, the ladder* (heh, heh) was during the Great Climate Hoax of the Twenty-First Century when we heard and saw that word, climate, every day multiple times per day. Have I ever mentioned that before? (“Yes, Grandpa.”)

What are your most troublesome sets of homophones?


* Note to Editors: If you correct this spelling, the joke goes away. Don’t be that editor.

Published in Group Writing
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Get your first month free.

There are 100 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    The Reticulator (View Comment):
    “What do you get when you cross a homonym with an antonym?”

    The Contranym.

    • #61
    • May 25, 2020, at 11:14 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  2. Judge Mental Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):
    “What do you get when you cross a homonym with an antonym?”

    The Contranym.

    A Homoant, a.k.a. BrundleFly.

    • #62
    • May 25, 2020, at 11:22 PM PDT
    • Like
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):
    “What do you get when you cross a homonym with an antonym?”

    The Contranym.

    A Homoant, a.k.a. BrundleFly.

    Jeff Goldblum Archives - Reaction GIFs

    • #63
    • May 25, 2020, at 11:56 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  4. Bethany Mandel Editor

    Rein and reign 

    • #64
    • May 26, 2020, at 4:30 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  5. tigerlily Member

    Bethany Mandel (View Comment):

    Rein and reign

    and rain.

    • #65
    • May 26, 2020, at 5:06 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  6. Stad Coolidge

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

     

    Of course, that one was intentional.

    Of course those are the only kind I ever do since I never make misteaks.

    Iam knot sew shore . . .

    • #66
    • May 26, 2020, at 6:29 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  7. SkipSul Coolidge
    SkipSulJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    Britain is a country (well, by some definitions it’s a set of countries under one crown). A resident of the place is called a Briton. The difference in pronunciation is microscopic. 

    Just don’t confuse them with the Bretons of Brittany.

    • #67
    • May 26, 2020, at 6:36 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
  8. Stad Coolidge

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    JoelB (View Comment):

    Qoumidan (View Comment):

    Raze and raise.

    Which are not only homonyms, but can be antonyms as well.

    Good one!

    There is another term out there: contranym (or contronym). It can also be known as an auto-antonym. In other words, a word that can be its own opposite. Sanction can mean to permit or to penalize.

    And handicap can be a disadvantage or an advantage. Boy howdy I’m sure glad I don’t have to learn English as a foreign language. I had a French friend in college who used to moan every day about why you didn’t pronounce through, enough, and thought the same way etc.

    The very first Great Courses lectures I listened to was The History of the English Language by Seth Lerer. He gives a very good explanation why the English language is, for lack of a better expression, screwed up when it comes to spelling and pronunciation.

    • #68
    • May 26, 2020, at 6:40 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  9. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    Bethany Mandel (View Comment):

    Rein and reign

    It’s all about who is in charge. Which reminds me of another of the apostrophe boys: whose and who’s.

    • #69
    • May 26, 2020, at 8:06 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  10. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    SkipSul (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    Britain is a country (well, by some definitions it’s a set of countries under one crown). A resident of the place is called a Briton. The difference in pronunciation is microscopic.

    Just don’t confuse them with the Bretons of Brittany.

    Who are called that because they moved to Armorica from Britain.

    • #70
    • May 26, 2020, at 8:08 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  11. Stad Coolidge

    Arahant (View Comment):

    SkipSul (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    Britain is a country (well, by some definitions it’s a set of countries under one crown). A resident of the place is called a Briton. The difference in pronunciation is microscopic.

    Just don’t confuse them with the Bretons of Brittany.

    Who are called that because they moved to Armorica from Britain.

    Then shouldn’t it be “Bretony”?

    • #71
    • May 26, 2020, at 8:21 AM PDT
    • Like
  12. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    Stad (View Comment):
    Then shouldn’t it be “Bretony”?

    Influenced by Froggy spelling and pronunciation. The Frogs are the reason that Stewart was changed to “Stuart,” so they would pronounce the name nearly correctly.

    • #72
    • May 26, 2020, at 8:26 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  13. SkipSul Coolidge
    SkipSulJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):
    Then shouldn’t it be “Bretony”?

    Influenced by Froggy spelling and pronunciation. The Frogs are the reason that Stewart was changed to “Stuart,” so they would pronounce the name nearly correctly.

    Just remember: French is what happens when Germans are utterly unable to pronounce Latin.

    • #73
    • May 26, 2020, at 8:30 AM PDT
    • 5 likes
  14. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    Just remember: French is what happens when Germans are utterly unable to pronounce Latin.

    Correct.

    • #74
    • May 26, 2020, at 8:32 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  15. Judge Mental Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    SkipSul (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    Britain is a country (well, by some definitions it’s a set of countries under one crown). A resident of the place is called a Briton. The difference in pronunciation is microscopic.

    Just don’t confuse them with the Bretons of Brittany.

    Who are called that because they moved to Armorica from Britain.

    Uh, I think it’s spelled ‘America’.

    • #75
    • May 26, 2020, at 8:37 AM PDT
    • Like
  16. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    Judge Mental (View Comment):
    Uh, I think it’s spelled ‘America’.

    No, that’s the other side of the pond. Armorica.

    • #76
    • May 26, 2020, at 8:38 AM PDT
    • Like
  17. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    And then there is Britonia.

    • #77
    • May 26, 2020, at 8:39 AM PDT
    • Like
  18. Judge Mental Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):
    Uh, I think it’s spelled ‘America’.

    No, that’s the other side of the pond. Armorica.

     

    • #78
    • May 26, 2020, at 8:41 AM PDT
    • Like
  19. BeatFeet Member

    Gary McVey (View Comment):

    Britain is a country (well, by some definitions it’s a set of countries under one crown). A resident of the place is called a Briton. The difference in pronunciation is microscopic.

    I’ve had problems mixing up “averse” and “adverse”, mostly because of the similarities, but also because they both refer to something you shun or shy away from.

    Chevy makes fenders by putting metal in a mould. But if you leave the seat fabrics out in the rain, they get moldy.

    Americans make fenders by putting metal in a mold, Brits use a mould.

    • #79
    • May 26, 2020, at 9:02 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
  20. SkipSul Coolidge
    SkipSulJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    BeatFeet (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):

    Britain is a country (well, by some definitions it’s a set of countries under one crown). A resident of the place is called a Briton. The difference in pronunciation is microscopic.

    I’ve had problems mixing up “averse” and “adverse”, mostly because of the similarities, but also because they both refer to something you shun or shy away from.

    Chevy makes fenders by putting metal in a mould. But if you leave the seat fabrics out in the rain, they get moldy.

    Americans make fenders by putting metal in a mold, Brits use a mould.

    It’s actually more of a die set. Molds are for forming molten or at least really soft materials, but dies are for stamping and pressing. And if you put your head into the die you will die. And after they metal is formed it is painted but the plastics in the dashboard are dyed after molding.

    • #80
    • May 26, 2020, at 9:05 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
  21. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    And if you put your head into the die you will die.

    But only if it is in the stamping press, as opposed to having a stamp and being sent through the mail. That happens in Dilbia, I hear.

    • #81
    • May 26, 2020, at 9:09 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  22. Barfly Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    And if you put your head into the die you will die.

    But only if it is in the stamping press, as opposed to having a stamp and being sent through the mail. That happens in Dilbia, I hear.

    I got my moral education from Gordon R. Dickson.

    • #82
    • May 26, 2020, at 9:18 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  23. SkipSul Coolidge
    SkipSulJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    And if you put your head into the die you will die.

    But only if it is in the stamping press, as opposed to having a stamp and being sent through the mail. That happens in Dilbia, I hear.

    Unless the stamp is printed on the envelope, in which case it is more colloquially called “franked”, which is opposed to being open about something, which is being frank, but if one is eating a particular type of bastardized northern German sausage then one is eating a frank, and if one is a far-Western German then one could also be a Frank.

    • #83
    • May 26, 2020, at 9:20 AM PDT
    • 6 likes
  24. SkipSul Coolidge
    SkipSulJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    SkipSul (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    And if you put your head into the die you will die.

    But only if it is in the stamping press, as opposed to having a stamp and being sent through the mail. That happens in Dilbia, I hear.

    Unless the stamp is printed on the envelope, in which case it is more colloquially called “franked”, which is opposed to being open about something, which is being frank, but if one is eating a particular type of bastardized northern German sausage then one is eating a frank, and if one is a far-Western German then one could also be a Frank.

    And back to the envelope for some other back of the envelope thoughts – I should be open, er, frank, about opening your mail, but at least (unlike Percival) I’m not wearing mail while doing so.

    • #84
    • May 26, 2020, at 9:24 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
  25. Judge Mental Member

    SkipSul (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    And if you put your head into the die you will die.

    But only if it is in the stamping press, as opposed to having a stamp and being sent through the mail. That happens in Dilbia, I hear.

    Unless the stamp is printed on the envelope, in which case it is more colloquially called “franked”, which is opposed to being open about something, which is being frank, but if one is eating a particular type of bastardized northern German sausage then one is eating a frank, and if one is a far-Western German then one could also be a Frank.

    So, you’re saying that a Western German sausage, with honestly described ingredients, and distributed via government paid postage, would be a franked frank Frank frank?

    • #85
    • May 26, 2020, at 9:26 AM PDT
    • 5 likes
  26. SkipSul Coolidge
    SkipSulJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    SkipSul (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    And if you put your head into the die you will die.

    But only if it is in the stamping press, as opposed to having a stamp and being sent through the mail. That happens in Dilbia, I hear.

    Unless the stamp is printed on the envelope, in which case it is more colloquially called “franked”, which is opposed to being open about something, which is being frank, but if one is eating a particular type of bastardized northern German sausage then one is eating a frank, and if one is a far-Western German then one could also be a Frank.

    So, you’re saying that a Western German sausage, with honestly described ingredients, and distributed via government paid postage, would be a franked frank Frank frank?

    It would also be mouldy once the post office lost it.

    • #86
    • May 26, 2020, at 9:31 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
  27. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    SkipSul (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    And if you put your head into the die you will die.

    But only if it is in the stamping press, as opposed to having a stamp and being sent through the mail. That happens in Dilbia, I hear.

    Unless the stamp is printed on the envelope, in which case it is more colloquially called “franked”, which is opposed to being open about something, which is being frank, but if one is eating a particular type of bastardized northern German sausage then one is eating a frank, and if one is a far-Western German then one could also be a Frank.

    So, you’re saying that a Western German sausage, with honestly described ingredients, and distributed via government paid postage, would be a franked frank Frank frank?

    Frankly, I’m disturbed by this turn of events.

    • #87
    • May 26, 2020, at 9:32 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  28. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVeyJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I’ve been to Slovenia. I’ve been to Slavonia. But I’ve never been to Slovakia. 

    • #88
    • May 26, 2020, at 10:43 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
  29. John A Peabody Inactive
    John A PeabodyJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Capital and capitol! To establish St. Paul as the Capital of Minnesota was a capital idea! They meet in a building called a capitol. They have passed laws on capital punishment in the capitol building (located on Capitol Hill, natch).

    • #89
    • May 26, 2020, at 10:53 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  30. Percival Thatcher
    PercivalJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    There is also “principle” and “principal. I’ve gotten used to reading it, but it still grates. (“Grates” and “greats!” Less frequent, though.)

    I got into an email argument with a colleague over one line in his report. “That should read ‘principal principle,’ not the other way around.”)

    EDIT: Darn autocomplete.

    • #90
    • May 26, 2020, at 11:06 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
    • This comment has been edited.