Biden Picks Caitlyn Jenner!

 

In a stunning political move, Democrat Presidential nominee Joe Biden has selected Caitlyn Jenner as his running mate. When asked about his choice, Biden said the following:

Biden: Caitlyn brings much-needed diversity to the ticket. Her knowledge of how change can be difficult will help this country heal after four years of Donald Trump. Plus, I’m told we have a chance to pick up the swing states, which could have gone either way with a different pick.

Reporter: Mr. Vice President, you do know that Caitlyn Jenner is a transsexual.

Biden: No, she’s my Veep pick, not my Transportation Secretary.

Another reporter: He said she’s a transsexual. She’s a guy who became a she.

Biden: I don’t understand.

Reporter (snickering): She’s a guy who underwent a lopitoffomy.

Biden (as reporters laugh): What kind of operation is that? They removed a malignant growth? What’s wrong with that?

Reporter (unable to hold back laughter): It means . . . he . . . he . . . hee hee hee!

Biden: Am I on candid camera?

Aide (to another aide): Get Jill in here stat!

Second aide (returns with Jill): Honey, I think you made a wise choice. I’ll explain it to you. [Whispers in his ear, Biden’s eyes widen.]

Biden: I thought her shoulders were pretty darn firm. At least her hair smelled good.

[Reporters lose it en masse. Another aide steps up to the mike.]

Aide: I’m sorry, but that’s all the questions for now. Mr. Biden has to leave and interview someone for his Chief of Staff.

Reporter: Who is it?

Aide (looks at paper): A Mr. Ron Jeremy.

[Reporters fall to the floor in hysterics]

Biden (surveys the commotion and turns to Jill): That went well, don’t you think?

Jill (rolling her eyes): Let’s just go.

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  1. Al French of Damascus Moderator
    Al French of Damascus
    @AlFrench

    That was good. Now do one with him picking Maxine Waters.

    • #1
  2. E. Kent Golding Moderator
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    I am pretty sure Caitlyn is a Republican.   I would trust Caitlyn more than whoever Biden picks, or Biden himself.   Trust me,  Caitlyn is less of a joke than Biden or whoever he choses to surround himself with.

    • #2
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    It will probably be Pennsylvania’s director of health (or whatever title) instead.

    • #3
  4. Columbo Inactive
    Columbo
    @Columbo

    • #4
  5. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    That was good. Now do one with him picking Maxine Waters.

    I will!  Right after I turn cat food into gold . . .

    • #5
  6. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    • #6
  7. Columbo Inactive
    Columbo
    @Columbo

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    • #7
  8. E. Kent Golding Moderator
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    Biden may pick Caitlyn thinking he is picking the governor of Michigan. 

    • #8
  9. Old Bathos Member
    Old Bathos
    @OldBathos

    A saner pick than most of the options Democrats are currently mulling.

    • #9
  10. PHCheese Inactive
    PHCheese
    @PHCheese

    I’m surprised Joe doesn’t think he is sill VP.

    • #10
  11. Danny Alexander Member
    Danny Alexander
    @DannyAlexander

    Not just “a stunning political move,” Stad — a stunning and *brave* political move.

    • #11
  12. Dotorimuk Coolidge
    Dotorimuk
    @Dotorimuk

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    That was good. Now do one with him picking Maxine Waters.

    Aunt Esther!

    • #12
  13. Unsk Member
    Unsk
    @Unsk

    Whew! That was a close one. We almost had a crisis in the making.

    Picking Caitlin ticks off a number of  critically important  politically correct boxes for Democrat voters like being a “women” and a transexual  that are absolutely necessary for Biden’s running mate and I’m sure that will appreciated by the base, but the real benefit with this choice is that it is now much less likely that “Handsy” Joe will be unable to keep his hands and other of his body parts  to himself because Caitlin isn’t you know a real women, so  perhaps there will be less of an urge on Joe’s part to revert to form.   Of course being a tad senile and you how it is with the elderly senile ones – they sometimes have problems resisting urges that were kept under wraps at an earlier age and so Joe may still need to be watched very carefully. But anyhow, Great Reporting Stad! 

    • #13
  14. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Doesn’t Caitlyn also identify as a lesbian?

    • #14
  15. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    Stacy Abrams:  Enough Power to Block the Sun

    • #15
  16. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Unsk (View Comment):
    Great Reporting Stad!

    I await a call from the Pulitzer Committee . . .

    • #16
  17. Al French of Damascus Moderator
    Al French of Damascus
    @AlFrench

    Stad (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    Stacy Abrams: Enough Power to Block the Sun

    If by power you mean energy, you know E=mc^2. And she has plenty of m.

    • #17
  18. Old Bathos Member
    Old Bathos
    @OldBathos

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    Stacy Abrams: Enough Power to Block the Sun

    If by power you mean energy, you know E=mc^2. And she has plenty of m.

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    It will be fun if she doesn’t get the nod from Biden, Trump-Pence wins but she continues to insist that journalists address her as “Madame Vice President” or “Former Governor.“

    • #18
  19. Al French of Damascus Moderator
    Al French of Damascus
    @AlFrench

    Old Bathos (View Comment):

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    Stacy Abrams: Enough Power to Block the Sun

    If by power you mean energy, you know E=mc^2. And she has plenty of m.

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    It will be fun if she doesn’t get the nod from Biden, Trump-Pence wins but she continues to insist that journalists address her as “Madame Vice President” or “Former Governor.“

    I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.

    • #19
  20. MichaelHenry Member
    MichaelHenry
    @MichaelHenry

    Well done, Stad. But I don’t think Caitlyn has a chance at getting selected because apparently she still has his original equipment. Based on media excitement, I think the choice will be MI Governor Grinchen “Half”-Whitmer.  

    • #20
  21. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):
    I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.

    The problem is that Joe has no problem with blacks. She brings nothing.

    • #21
  22. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    MichaelHenry (View Comment):
    Based on media excitement, I think the choice will be MI Governor Grinchen “Half”-Whitmer.

    Cod forbid that she actually get to the White House.

    • #22
  23. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    Stacy Abrams: Enough Power to Block the Sun

    If by power you mean energy, you know E=mc^2. And she has plenty of m.

    There is not enough energy in the universe to accelerate that mass anywhere near the speed of light . . .

    • #23
  24. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Old Bathos (View Comment):
    It will be fun if she doesn’t get the nod from Biden, Trump-Pence wins but she continues to insist that journalists address her as “Madame Vice President” or “Former Governor.“

    She’ll probably claim the Veep process was rigged and sue Biden . . .

    • #24
  25. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    MichaelHenry (View Comment):

    Well done, Stad. But I don’t think Caitlyn has a chance at getting selected because apparently she still has his original equipment. Based on media excitement, I think the choice will be MI Governor Grinchen “Half”-Whitmer.

    Not sure there’s much difference equipment-wise, but if you say so . . .

    • #25
  26. Columbo Inactive
    Columbo
    @Columbo

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):
    I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.

    The problem is that Joe has no problem with blacks. She brings nothing.

    That was then. This Is Now.

     

    • #26
  27. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):
    I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.

    The problem is that Joe has no problem with blacks. She brings nothing.

    That was then. This Is Now.

    Yeah, can’t keep up with Joe’s gaffes. When I said it, it was still true, you dog-faced pony soldier.

    • #27
  28. Al French of Damascus Moderator
    Al French of Damascus
    @AlFrench

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):
    I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.

    The problem is that Joe has no problem with blacks. She brings nothing.

    That was then. This Is Now.

    Yeah, can’t keep up with Joe’s gaffes. When I said it, it was still true, you lying dog-faced pony soldier.

    FIFY. Doesn’t have the right cadence without that word.

    • #28
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