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Biden Picks Caitlyn Jenner!
In a stunning political move, Democrat Presidential nominee Joe Biden has selected Caitlyn Jenner as his running mate. When asked about his choice, Biden said the following:
Biden: Caitlyn brings much-needed diversity to the ticket. Her knowledge of how change can be difficult will help this country heal after four years of Donald Trump. Plus, I’m told we have a chance to pick up the swing states, which could have gone either way with a different pick.
Reporter: Mr. Vice President, you do know that Caitlyn Jenner is a transsexual.
Biden: No, she’s my Veep pick, not my Transportation Secretary.
Another reporter: He said she’s a transsexual. She’s a guy who became a she.
Biden: I don’t understand.
Reporter (snickering): She’s a guy who underwent a lopitoffomy.
Biden (as reporters laugh): What kind of operation is that? They removed a malignant growth? What’s wrong with that?
Reporter (unable to hold back laughter): It means . . . he . . . he . . . hee hee hee!
Biden: Am I on candid camera?
Aide (to another aide): Get Jill in here stat!
Second aide (returns with Jill): Honey, I think you made a wise choice. I’ll explain it to you. [Whispers in his ear, Biden’s eyes widen.]
Biden: I thought her shoulders were pretty darn firm. At least her hair smelled good.
[Reporters lose it en masse. Another aide steps up to the mike.]
Aide: I’m sorry, but that’s all the questions for now. Mr. Biden has to leave and interview someone for his Chief of Staff.
Reporter: Who is it?
Aide (looks at paper): A Mr. Ron Jeremy.
[Reporters fall to the floor in hysterics]
Biden (surveys the commotion and turns to Jill): That went well, don’t you think?
Jill (rolling her eyes): Let’s just go.
Published in Humor
That was good. Now do one with him picking Maxine Waters.
I am pretty sure Caitlyn is a Republican. I would trust Caitlyn more than whoever Biden picks, or Biden himself. Trust me, Caitlyn is less of a joke than Biden or whoever he choses to surround himself with.
It will probably be Pennsylvania’s director of health (or whatever title) instead.
I will! Right after I turn cat food into gold . . .
And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”
Biden may pick Caitlyn thinking he is picking the governor of Michigan.
A saner pick than most of the options Democrats are currently mulling.
I’m surprised Joe doesn’t think he is sill VP.
Not just “a stunning political move,” Stad — a stunning and *brave* political move.
Aunt Esther!
Whew! That was a close one. We almost had a crisis in the making.
Picking Caitlin ticks off a number of critically important politically correct boxes for Democrat voters like being a “women” and a transexual that are absolutely necessary for Biden’s running mate and I’m sure that will appreciated by the base, but the real benefit with this choice is that it is now much less likely that “Handsy” Joe will be unable to keep his hands and other of his body parts to himself because Caitlin isn’t you know a real women, so perhaps there will be less of an urge on Joe’s part to revert to form. Of course being a tad senile and you how it is with the elderly senile ones – they sometimes have problems resisting urges that were kept under wraps at an earlier age and so Joe may still need to be watched very carefully. But anyhow, Great Reporting Stad!
Doesn’t Caitlyn also identify as a lesbian?
Stacy Abrams: Enough Power to Block the Sun
I await a call from the Pulitzer Committee . . .
If by power you mean energy, you know E=mc^2. And she has plenty of m.
It will be fun if she doesn’t get the nod from Biden, Trump-Pence wins but she continues to insist that journalists address her as “Madame Vice President” or “Former Governor.“
I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.
Well done, Stad. But I don’t think Caitlyn has a chance at getting selected because apparently she still has his original equipment. Based on media excitement, I think the choice will be MI Governor Grinchen “Half”-Whitmer.
The problem is that Joe has no problem with blacks. She brings nothing.
Cod forbid that she actually get to the White House.
There is not enough energy in the universe to accelerate that mass anywhere near the speed of light . . .
She’ll probably claim the Veep process was rigged and sue Biden . . .
Not sure there’s much difference equipment-wise, but if you say so . . .
That was then. This Is Now.
Yeah, can’t keep up with Joe’s gaffes. When I said it, it was still true, you dog-faced pony soldier.
FIFY. Doesn’t have the right cadence without that word.