Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Biden Picks Caitlyn Jenner!

 

In a stunning political move, Democrat Presidential nominee Joe Biden has selected Caitlyn Jenner as his running mate. When asked about his choice, Biden said the following:

Biden: Caitlyn brings much-needed diversity to the ticket. Her knowledge of how change can be difficult will help this country heal after four years of Donald Trump. Plus, I’m told we have a chance to pick up the swing states, which could have gone either way with a different pick.

Reporter: Mr. Vice President, you do know that Caitlyn Jenner is a transsexual.

Biden: No, she’s my Veep pick, not my Transportation Secretary.

Another reporter: He said she’s a transsexual. She’s a guy who became a she.

Biden: I don’t understand.

Reporter (snickering): She’s a guy who underwent a lopitoffomy.

Biden (as reporters laugh): What kind of operation is that? They removed a malignant growth? What’s wrong with that?

Reporter (unable to hold back laughter): It means . . . he . . . he . . . hee hee hee!

Biden: Am I on candid camera?

Aide (to another aide): Get Jill in here stat!

Second aide (returns with Jill): Honey, I think you made a wise choice. I’ll explain it to you. [Whispers in his ear, Biden’s eyes widen.]

Biden: I thought her shoulders were pretty darn firm. At least her hair smelled good.

[Reporters lose it en masse. Another aide steps up to the mike.]

Aide: I’m sorry, but that’s all the questions for now. Mr. Biden has to leave and interview someone for his Chief of Staff.

Reporter: Who is it?

Aide (looks at paper): A Mr. Ron Jeremy.

[Reporters fall to the floor in hysterics]

Biden (surveys the commotion and turns to Jill): That went well, don’t you think?

Jill (rolling her eyes): Let’s just go.

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  1. Al French of Damascus Moderator

    That was good. Now do one with him picking Maxine Waters.

    • #1
    • May 21, 2020, at 11:00 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  2. E. Kent Golding Member

    I am pretty sure Caitlyn is a Republican. I would trust Caitlyn more than whoever Biden picks, or Biden himself. Trust me, Caitlyn is less of a joke than Biden or whoever he choses to surround himself with.

    • #2
    • May 21, 2020, at 11:01 AM PDT
    • 13 likes
  3. Arahant Member

    It will probably be Pennsylvania’s director of health (or whatever title) instead.

    • #3
    • May 21, 2020, at 11:38 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  4. Columbo Member

    • #4
    • May 21, 2020, at 12:04 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  5. Stad Thatcher
    Stad

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    That was good. Now do one with him picking Maxine Waters.

    I will! Right after I turn cat food into gold . . .

    • #5
    • May 21, 2020, at 12:58 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  6. Hang On Member
    Hang On Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    • #6
    • May 21, 2020, at 1:53 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  7. Columbo Member

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    • #7
    • May 21, 2020, at 2:14 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  8. E. Kent Golding Member

    Biden may pick Caitlyn thinking he is picking the governor of Michigan. 

    • #8
    • May 21, 2020, at 3:17 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  9. Old Bathos Moderator

    A saner pick than most of the options Democrats are currently mulling.

    • #9
    • May 21, 2020, at 4:28 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  10. PHCheese Member

    I’m surprised Joe doesn’t think he is sill VP.

    • #10
    • May 21, 2020, at 4:36 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  11. Danny Alexander Member

    Not just “a stunning political move,” Stad — a stunning and *brave* political move.

    • #11
    • May 21, 2020, at 5:00 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  12. Dotorimuk Coolidge

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    That was good. Now do one with him picking Maxine Waters.

    Aunt Esther!

    • #12
    • May 21, 2020, at 5:15 PM PDT
    • Like
  13. Unsk Member

    Whew! That was a close one. We almost had a crisis in the making.

    Picking Caitlin ticks off a number of critically important politically correct boxes for Democrat voters like being a “women” and a transexual that are absolutely necessary for Biden’s running mate and I’m sure that will appreciated by the base, but the real benefit with this choice is that it is now much less likely that “Handsy” Joe will be unable to keep his hands and other of his body parts to himself because Caitlin isn’t you know a real women, so perhaps there will be less of an urge on Joe’s part to revert to form. Of course being a tad senile and you how it is with the elderly senile ones – they sometimes have problems resisting urges that were kept under wraps at an earlier age and so Joe may still need to be watched very carefully. But anyhow, Great Reporting Stad! 

    • #13
    • May 21, 2020, at 5:56 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  14. Arahant Member

    Doesn’t Caitlyn also identify as a lesbian?

    • #14
    • May 21, 2020, at 6:23 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  15. Stad Thatcher
    Stad

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    Stacy Abrams: Enough Power to Block the Sun

    • #15
    • May 22, 2020, at 6:03 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  16. Stad Thatcher
    Stad

    Unsk (View Comment):
    Great Reporting Stad!

    I await a call from the Pulitzer Committee . . .

    • #16
    • May 22, 2020, at 6:04 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  17. Al French of Damascus Moderator

    Stad (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    Stacy Abrams: Enough Power to Block the Sun

    If by power you mean energy, you know E=mc^2. And she has plenty of m.

    • #17
    • May 22, 2020, at 9:30 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  18. Old Bathos Moderator

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    Stacy Abrams: Enough Power to Block the Sun

    If by power you mean energy, you know E=mc^2. And she has plenty of m.

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    It will be fun if she doesn’t get the nod from Biden, Trump-Pence wins but she continues to insist that journalists address her as “Madame Vice President” or “Former Governor.“

    • #18
    • May 22, 2020, at 9:52 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  19. Al French of Damascus Moderator

    Old Bathos (View Comment):

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    Stacy Abrams: Enough Power to Block the Sun

    If by power you mean energy, you know E=mc^2. And she has plenty of m.

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    It will be fun if she doesn’t get the nod from Biden, Trump-Pence wins but she continues to insist that journalists address her as “Madame Vice President” or “Former Governor.“

    I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.

    • #19
    • May 22, 2020, at 10:19 AM PDT
    • Like
  20. MichaelHenry Contributor

    Well done, Stad. But I don’t think Caitlyn has a chance at getting selected because apparently she still has his original equipment. Based on media excitement, I think the choice will be MI Governor Grinchen “Half”-Whitmer.

    • #20
    • May 22, 2020, at 10:19 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  21. Arahant Member

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):
    I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.

    The problem is that Joe has no problem with blacks. She brings nothing.

    • #21
    • May 22, 2020, at 10:41 AM PDT
    • Like
  22. Arahant Member

    MichaelHenry (View Comment):
    Based on media excitement, I think the choice will be MI Governor Grinchen “Half”-Whitmer.

    Cod forbid that she actually get to the White House.

    • #22
    • May 22, 2020, at 10:59 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  23. Stad Thatcher
    Stad

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And Stacy Abrams goes up to the microphone, grabs it and begins screaming, “I am not going to allow the Democrats to choose a white woman who isn’t even a woman. It is black women who are the backbone of the Democratic Party. I am not going to be robbed once again, Joe. You and the Democratic Party owe me. And I am going to change my name to Caitlyn Jenner.”

    Stacy Abrams: Enough Power to Block the Sun

    If by power you mean energy, you know E=mc^2. And she has plenty of m.

    There is not enough energy in the universe to accelerate that mass anywhere near the speed of light . . .

    • #23
    • May 22, 2020, at 12:13 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  24. Stad Thatcher
    Stad

    Old Bathos (View Comment):
    It will be fun if she doesn’t get the nod from Biden, Trump-Pence wins but she continues to insist that journalists address her as “Madame Vice President” or “Former Governor.“

    She’ll probably claim the Veep process was rigged and sue Biden . . .

    • #24
    • May 22, 2020, at 12:14 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  25. Stad Thatcher
    Stad

    MichaelHenry (View Comment):

    Well done, Stad. But I don’t think Caitlyn has a chance at getting selected because apparently she still has his original equipment. Based on media excitement, I think the choice will be MI Governor Grinchen “Half”-Whitmer.

    Not sure there’s much difference equipment-wise, but if you say so . . .

    • #25
    • May 22, 2020, at 12:17 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  26. Columbo Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):
    I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.

    The problem is that Joe has no problem with blacks. She brings nothing.

    That was then. This Is Now.

     

    • #26
    • May 24, 2020, at 4:15 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  27. Arahant Member

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):
    I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.

    The problem is that Joe has no problem with blacks. She brings nothing.

    That was then. This Is Now.

    Yeah, can’t keep up with Joe’s gaffes. When I said it, it was still true, you dog-faced pony soldier.

    • #27
    • May 24, 2020, at 4:48 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  28. Al French of Damascus Moderator

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):
    I wouldn’t rule her out. She is right that black women are a core constituency of the democrat party. I haven’t followed closely, but I think she is progressive enough to satisfy the Bernie bros.

    The problem is that Joe has no problem with blacks. She brings nothing.

    That was then. This Is Now.

    Yeah, can’t keep up with Joe’s gaffes. When I said it, it was still true, you lying dog-faced pony soldier.

    FIFY. Doesn’t have the right cadence without that word.

    • #28
    • May 24, 2020, at 6:34 PM PDT
    • 2 likes