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Ricochet COVID Symposium: The Solution is Out My Front Window
OK, this is going to be shorter than you might expect. I am an alcoholic, I have been clean for a year. I got a temporary lay off a month back, and it is looking permanent. The thing for everyone who lost a job during these times is that I have no idea where my next check is coming from, I have nothing to do, I am useless. I don’t see a way out, but there is a booze store that I can see from my front window. It is hard to not take the option. I also for fun get to take care of my schizophrenic brother. Stress and boredom is a hard hill to climb when you can’t see the summit.
I can’t go to meetings because they are closed. I can’t see my counselor; that is also closed. In both cases, I can do phone or internet options, but it’s not really the same. The temporary solution to all my problems is, again, visible from my window.
– Sean in Alberta, Canada
[Editor’s Note: This is part of a series of contributions from our members and friends about the hidden costs of the COVID crisis. You can read more about our symposium and how to contribute here.]
Published in General
That is pretty rough. Don’t know how much it matters, but we do have a prayer thread.
Thanks for bringing it up, Yeti.
Sean in Alberta. Do you have a sponsor? I assume when you say meetings you mean A.A. I would seek getting a sponsor if it’s possible. Thoughts and prayers and stay safe.
“but it’s not really the same.”
I think that is what makes this perverse new reality so depressing and infuriating. None of these current ways of adapting are anywhere near a suitable substitute for activities that have evolved over generations and provide comfort precisely because of their predictable, proven value. I have found comfort and inspiration over the past few years through attending daily mass. I have tried to watch it online and just get angry. I justify that by thinking that maybe God wants me to be angry or at least He understands it. I am no expert on addiction unless being addicted makes you an expert, but consider the possibility that the booze store you can see from your window might actually be there as a reminder of where you used to be and not where you want to be again.
Does Bible Study Fellowship ( BSF ) have a meeting near you? That might be a resource for you. Good people, whether you are a Christian or just curious.
Several weeks ago I read an article in the Wall Street Journal about the many people who depend on support groups for their wellbeing. I doubt that the people who issued the directives ever thought about the alcoholics, the drug addicts, the depressed, the broken-hearted, and others who rely on support groups. Like so many policy decisions, the people making those decisions assume everyone responds the way the decision-makers do, and rarely think about how different people might make different decisions.
One day at a time Sean.
I too am an alcoholic. I’ve got just over 10 years under my belt this time ’round so I may not be as reliant on my support network as you are but just do what you have to do to get through the day. Your brother needs you sober, YOU need you sober, it’s really the only way to get through this.
Close the blinds, Sean. That answer is an illusion. Like a mirage. But, God knows. I understand why it looks so attractive. Don’t worry about getting to the summit right now. Think instead about the next steps you need to take to just get to something essential. I mean, what do you need to do to get breakfast made for you and your brother? Then lunch? Then dinner? You matter. Feed yourself. Drink water.
No doubt. Human contact and relationships are not optional – people need them. And quite rightly.
Hey Sean, keep taking it one day at a time. Just for today. There are resources and you’re right. It’s not the same. But life goes on. We know this. This will pass. Give it time. It has been a long time, but try the video consults. Use the phone. Use what you can. There’s a reason we have tools.
Please reach out on Ricochet, even. There’s plenty of 12 Steppers.
Take it easy and you’ll be in my prayers.