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QOTD: Bonding Over Birthday Cakes or Other Shared Experiences
Early on, when my wife and I were dating, we went to the grocery store, and I told her that sometimes I just buy birthday cakes, and I eat them. And she said: ‘Really? I do, too.’ –Tom Cotton
I couldn’t help but chuckle over this comment by the dignified and reserved Senator Tom Cotton. It was good to see that he could see the silly and sweet parts of courtship.
When I first met my husband, my experience was quite the opposite from the Cottons, who connected on such a delicious (pun intended) level: my husband was this intense, skinny guy who drove a corvette and liked to ride motorcycles. We were two people, it seemed, who couldn’t be more different.
We were set up on a blind date, and he seemed pleasant enough, but when I didn’t hear from him after a few weeks, I frankly forgot about him. So when he called me again, introducing himself only as “Jerry,” I wracked my brain to figure out who he was. He explained that he hadn’t called because he had been rebuilding his motorcycle for several weeks and had also gone on a vacation. Right.
But we went out again. And every time we dated, it seemed we were jinxed. The first date he was late because a cousin stopped by his home with car trouble; the second time he was late because he flooded his corvette engine (something about a burr); the next time he was stopped by a cop who wanted to check to see if his motorcycle’s springer front end was the legal length. Then we got caught in L.A. traffic on our way to a play (which made us both late). And then there was a time when we went out on a jetty at Newport Beach and were doused by a rogue wave. (At least we kept our footing!)
So you can see why I had my doubts about where the relationship would go. But I did like him. We shared similar values and outlooks on life. He made me laugh. And he was clearly very smart. (I’ve always been a sucker for smart guys.)
We were engaged after dating for a year, and married the following year.
We’ll be married 46 years in July.
And he still makes me laugh.
What clicked between you and your spouse when you first met?
Published in Group Writing
That was an important factor for me. At one point my mother said that if I didn’t marry Mrs. Tabby, my mother would disown me and adopt her. (-:
Mrs. Tabby and my mother never had the stereotypical friction between daughter-in-law and mother of husband.
On to the next generation – Mrs. Tabby is tomorrow driving down to spend a girls’ weekend with our daughter-in-law while our son is deployed (USAF) for a few months. Mrs. Tabby and our daughter-in-law get along very well, and daughter-in-law enjoys having Mrs. Tabby around.
It can be good even with you.
I didn’t quite finish how my wife and I actually tied the knot. After that 1965 Christmas party we had a series a dates and I had a chance to meet some members of her family who all lived together with my wife pretty much the head of household. That included her mother, two brothers, and a sister with her six-year old son. They were all immigrants from Peru who had followed my wife to America. In February 1966, on the weekend of the George Washington Birthday holiday (now Presidents Day), I was at her place in Virginia and we had a big snowstorm that prevented my getting out and driving to Maryland at the end of the day. More snow during the night wound up keeping me there all through that weekend so that I got to know those in her family and they got to know me. That was an important experience that led to my proposal of marriage in March while sitting together in my car parked outside her residence. She said her answer was yes but I would have to ask her mother. So, I did that, her mother was agreeable, and since June was full we set our wedding for May 20.
Now that the day has come, happy anniversary to you both.
My wife and I met through an online dating service. The line in her profile that hooked me was this:
I love music and like to sing along with the radio in the car (loudly) and the supermarket (quietly).
I found that to be quite charming. I believe that what she liked about my profile is that one of my photos had a cat in the background.