The Duration: A Week at the Office

 

At the start of the week I made a resolution: I would get up every day, put on a shirt with a collar, choose a good tie, step into shined shoes, and go to the office.

Previously I went downtown once a week to walk around and take the civic temperature, look at the construction projects, document the empty core. But this week I decided I would go to my desk, and sit there, and work. So I did.

The tie probably looked absurd, like an affectation, a sign of a bygone era – what’s next, bud, a straw boater? But you stand up straighter when you wear a tie. You feel put together. And you’ve always the option of loosening it with an aggravated growl if things get bad. What do people who wear nothing but sweatshirts do to indicate that they’re serious and ragged and ready to cut through the nonsense and get that damned Peter Parker to get some pictures of that damned Spider-Man menace, already?

The Last-Man-on-Earth vibe is strong downtown . . . 

. . . except for the workers in bright safety vests working on all the things that need fixing or building. There was fresh landscaping around the building across the street, waiting for someone to admire it. There were new signs in the skyway telling us to cough into our elbow crook, and stay home if sick – hey thanks, never heard any of that. 

The first day back at my desk was strange. The fourth felt absolutely normal. Except that the office was completely empty.

Well, almost; there’s one other writer who decided to do go back, and a few others drift in. “There’s no one here!” growled our famously cantankerous sportswriter when I saw him last week. “It’s the safest place in town!” 

But today I was all alone. The newsroom is a large place. It has many wings, several floors. The lights are on, the monitors are all running – people were supposed to leave their PCs on for remote access. All of the big news monitors and displays of web traffic and story-trending were dark; a monitor by the door played congrats to the people who had service anniversaries in March. The big board where the month’s feature stories are planned was likewise stuck on March. I felt, again, like Charlton Heston in post-plague Los Angeles, looking at a calendar from long ago.

Except Chuck didn’t have access to fresh pizza. I did. The pizza joint in the skyway was open. It never closed. On a normal day they had 25 huge pizzas in every possible combination ready for the lunch crowd – maybe ten pies today, but it was hot and fresh. I had lunch at my desk, using a knife and fork I’d brought from home. Man, it was delicious. Then I filed a column, thinking: if there wasn’t any newspaper – if there wasn’t anyone else – I would still do this, for a while. But then I’d stop.

Had a call with some new Ricochet advertisers. You’ll love them! I discussed the new products while wandering around the empty office, ending up in the big conference room where the top editors assemble the paper, sitting in the big chair at the end of the long table, feeling like the pirate in the Tom Hanks movie. I am the editor now. 

While I was on the call I got a notification from my phone: my parking meter was about to expire. Another routine from the Before Times. I fired up the app and added some time. When I’d done that on Monday, it had felt like an echo of a previous life; now it was routine. Again.

Left the office at the usual time, and walked past the great globe in the lobby. It’s a relic from our old building, restored. It revolves at the same pace as the Earth itself. When the Wuhan Virus slammed down they turned it off, and it’s been stuck in the same damned place ever since.

It will be plugged in again, soon. And the globe will turn. 

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  1. RandR Member
    RandR
    @RandR

    Arahant (View Comment):

    RandR (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    James Gawron (View Comment):
    I EAT FRENCH FRIES WITH A FORK

    I usually use chopsticks for french fries.

    I use chopsticks for eating Cheetos-like snacks so I don’t get orange fingers.

    They are good tools. Do you prefer Chinese, Japanese, or Korean style?

    I steal, er borrow, mine from the local Chinese buffet.

    • #91
  2. James Gawron Inactive
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    RandR (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    RandR (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    James Gawron (View Comment):
    I EAT FRENCH FRIES WITH A FORK

    I usually use chopsticks for french fries.

    I use chopsticks for eating Cheetos-like snacks so I don’t get orange fingers.

    They are good tools. Do you prefer Chinese, Japanese, or Korean style?

    I steal, er borrow, mine from the local Chinese buffet.

    RandR,

    So it’s ‘Orangefingered Man Bad’ is it. You know they have white cheese Cheetos now. Why you could stick your whole face in the bag and nobody would notice.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #92
  3. Sisyphus (Rolling Stone) Member
    Sisyphus (Rolling Stone)
    @Sisyphus

    James Gawron (View Comment):

    RandR (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    RandR (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    James Gawron (View Comment):
    I EAT FRENCH FRIES WITH A FORK

    I usually use chopsticks for french fries.

    I use chopsticks for eating Cheetos-like snacks so I don’t get orange fingers.

    They are good tools. Do you prefer Chinese, Japanese, or Korean style?

    I steal, er borrow, mine from the local Chinese buffet.

    RandR,

    So it’s ‘Orangefingered Man Bad’ is it. You know they have white cheese Cheetos now. Why you could stick your whole face in the bag and nobody would notice.

    Regards,

    Jim

    And in 20 years lose his job for photos of him in white face turning up. 

    • #93
  4. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    RandR (View Comment):
    I steal, er borrow, mine from the local Chinese buffet.

    The Korean are fun. Their chopsticks are flat.

    • #94
  5. Hugh Member
    Hugh
    @Hugh

    James Lileks (View Comment):

    EHerring (View Comment):
    I miss my IBM Selectric. Still have my fountain pens.

    I have a fountain pen as well – it’s a cartridge, though; I know I should be drawing from a bottle of Quink to be a real purist.

    The only thing I miss about my Selectric is the satisfying noise and keyboard action. I do not miss paying money for correction tape.

    I always liked the “thump thump thump” of the Selectric.

    • #95
  6. Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing) Member
    Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing)
    @Sisyphus

    Hugh (View Comment):

    James Lileks (View Comment):

    EHerring (View Comment):
    I miss my IBM Selectric. Still have my fountain pens.

    I have a fountain pen as well – it’s a cartridge, though; I know I should be drawing from a bottle of Quink to be a real purist.

    The only thing I miss about my Selectric is the satisfying noise and keyboard action. I do not miss paying money for correction tape.

    I always liked the “thump thump thump” of the Selectric.

    After a forty hour shift on my magnum opus in college I would crank the impact to 11 and punch letter shaped holes in my cheap drug store typing paper. Nice audio and video effect for the period.

    • #96
  7. Headedwest Coolidge
    Headedwest
    @Headedwest

    Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing) (View Comment)

    After a forty hour shift on my magnum opus in college I would crank the impact to 11 and punch letter shaped holes in my cheap drug store typing paper. Nice audio and video effect for the period.

    A typewriter versus a word processor is the essential difference between the physical and the digital world.

    The accuracy demanded by typing a paper versus word processing a paper is monumental.

    I was a “College Prep” student in high school, but I had the chance to enroll in the typing class for non-typists (that is, people who were not going to make a living producing typed documents).  This was 1963, so things like word processors or personal computers were a long way off.  Our class was taught by a 50-ish woman who could type 150 words per minute without even trying.  With zero errors.  When we got to the classroom we sat down in front of Royal mechanical office typewriters that had metal covers over the keys.  Yeah, you were going to have to learn how to do this without looking at the keys. And we learned how to touch type.  I have often said that this was the most important class I ever took in high school.  I had no problem understanding concepts, but this class actually taught me how to do something physical that enhanced my productivity.

    As a result, I could crank out any term paper or essay faster than anybody around.  I would just crank in a blank sheet of paper and start writing/typing. Never any drafts.  It was like pure power, to get the structure of the document in my head and then crank it out in one go.  The perfect process for a lazy student.

    My typing skills got me through college as well.  During college, I began to do inputs to computer programs and my skills let me input code faster than others, again an advantage. 

    I wrote and typeset my own dissertation, and wrote the published papers I contributed to by keying them in myself. 

    Occasionally my wife will see me writing something like a comment on Ricochet, and ask me if I am really typing or just hitting keys fast.  Well, I’m writing and I’m mostly coherent.  So thanks to my high school for creating that typing course.  It made my life different and easier for 60 years after graduation.

     

     

     

    • #97
  8. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    Headedwest (View Comment):

    Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing) (View Comment)

    After a forty hour shift on my magnum opus in college I would crank the impact to 11 and punch letter shaped holes in my cheap drug store typing paper. Nice audio and video effect for the period.

    A typewriter versus a word processor is the essential difference between the physical and the digital world.

    The accuracy demanded by typing a paper versus word processing a paper is monumental.

    I was a “College Prep” student in high school, but I had the chance to enroll in the typing class for non-typists (that is, people who were not going to make a living producing typed documents). This was 1963, so things like word processors or personal computers were a long way off. Our class was taught by a 50-ish woman who could type 150 words per minute without even trying. With zero errors. When we got to the classroom we sat down in front of Royal mechanical office typewriters that had metal covers over the keys. Yeah, you were going to have to learn how to do this without looking at the keys. And we learned how to touch type. I have often said that this was the most important class I ever took in high school. I had no problem understanding concepts, but this class actually taught me how to do something physical that enhanced my productivity.

    As a result, I could crank out any term paper or essay faster than anybody around. I would just crank in a blank sheet of paper and start writing/typing. Never any drafts. It was like pure power, to get the structure of the document in my head and then crank it out in one go. The perfect process for a lazy student.

    My typing skills got me through college as well. During college, I began to do inputs to computer programs and my skills let me input code faster than others, again an advantage.

    I wrote and typeset my own dissertation, and wrote the published papers I contributed to by keying them in myself.

    Occasionally my wife will see me writing something like a comment on Ricochet, and ask me if I am really typing or just hitting keys fast. Well, I’m writing and I’m mostly coherent. So thanks to my high school for creating that typing course. It made my life different and easier for 60 years after graduation.

    My uncle had a snowblower accident 5-10 years ago that cost him the tips of three fingers at the first knuckle.  Once he healed, he said the worst thing about it was that he couldn’t type anymore.  When he was in the army he was a clerk-typist and could type 90 words/minute.

     

     

     

    • #98
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