Your friend Jim George thinks you'd be a great addition to Ricochet, so we'd like to offer you a special deal: You can become a member for no initial charge for one month!
Ricochet is a community of like-minded people who enjoy writing about and discussing politics (usually of the center-right nature), culture, sports, history, and just about every other topic under the sun in a fully moderated environment. We’re so sure you’ll like Ricochet, we’ll let you join and get your first month for free. Kick the tires: read the always eclectic member feed, write some posts, join discussions, participate in a live chat or two, and listen to a few of our over 50 (free) podcasts on every conceivable topic, hosted by some of the biggest names on the right, for 30 days on us. We’re confident you’re gonna love it.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m very sorry for the loss of your father – he sounds like a great man who deserved more than was allowed him at the end of his life. “The suffering of people like me, and many others who have lost family to both COVID and non-COVID causes, as well as the millions who have lost work and income and businesses is wholly ignored. Or worse, our concerns and our opinions about maybe loosening restrictions are derided as selfish, politically motivated, or even downright murderous. It is painfully obvious we are not, in fact, all in this together.”
This is poignant. Those who want indefinite shutdown do not want to see stories like yours. They want to think they have the moral upper-hand, and this takes it away.
Your family is in my prayers.
Wonderful post. Thank you.
Wonderful, if sad, post. Write it up and send it to the governor and to members of the so- called press. Your story needs to be told.
Condolences Amy. Hold a wake for your dad when you can. Share some tears, and some laughter when you can. May he rest in peace, and may you and your family find some peace in the days to come.
My heartfelt sympathies, Amy. And I think more of us share your view, if not your loss, than the polls suggest. We will return to normal.
Thank you for this post.
I am so sorry about your dad; it might be horrible to say, but JY and I have noted that we’re glad our parents didn’t live to see this. Our mothers especially were dependent in their last years. Both our fathers died of cancer and I can’t imagine that experience without a hug from their many wonderful hospice nurses.
And I’m Irish, so I can’t imagine one of my parents not having what my mother called “a good send off”.
We are not meant to live like this, no matter what our “leaders” declare. My “circle” (JY and me, my daughter, her husband and two children , a gay married couple (one of which is a front line nurse) and a single friend of my daughter’s who can smell a Bar-B-que from 10 miles away. and son #2) went back to semi-normal living after about a week of quarantine. We rotate dinners (except for the single guy who just shows up) and are together at least four or five nights per week.
We rationalize that if the economy gets any worse, we might well all end up living in the same house. (I’m pretty sure it’ll be mine as it’s the largest, but the gays will insist on redecorating).
Wonderful post, Amy. Sorry for your family’s loss. As Doug said, hold the wake when you can. Your family will need that closure.
I am a nurse in NC and share the same work experiences as you. We’ve, thankfully, not been overwhelmed and the hospital has been 50-75% empty. I work in the surgical services area and just for the month of April we had not done 2000-2500 surgeries and procedures. That’s just April. Not half of March and now half of May. We are starting back up next week with lots of guidelines in place, but at least we will have something to do. Hopefully you guys will start up soon. Our HHS secretary has been calling the shots here. She’s telling the governor what to do.
Amy, your post resonated with me because I’ve been there. My dad passed seven years ago at age 73 of long-ignored prostate cancer after a couple months in home hospice care. We were able to have all the closure events you were denied – family in town, visitation, funeral service, graveside service, and lunch with friends – and I simply cannot imagine the compounding effect on our grief if we had been told by governors and scolds that those events would not – could not – happen.
Thanks for introducing us to a fine man and condolences on your loss.
People dying alone and their loved ones having to grieve alone is inhuman. A couple of members of our church have died in the last two months, each leaving a widow to grieve without the family and church support they need. Yet the powers who dictate to us refer to such abominations as “inconveniences.”
This post broke my heart. I join others in offering my deepest sympathy for your losses and you are suffering many. Thank G-d your dad made it home to die in the company of his loved ones. Thank G-d.
I join in wishing you find comfort somehow. And it’s strange how well your deep reflections of wanting back what your father fought for counter the simplistic post I read this morning from a far-left “friend” on Facebook, as if she thought she had some insight for us all. What amazes me in this complicated debate is the fuzzy not-stated timeline we are never given, on which a discussion could ensue. If it’s not time yet, what are we to wait for? A time of no grief from one thing while we heap on grief inside other less easily counted columns of life?
(Content: “Anyone arguing that only 1 to 2 percent of the population dying isn’t a big deal and is concerned about their “freedom” to get back to “normal” needs to identify one or two family members or close friends they are willing to offer up to “save the economy” or regain their “freedom.” Name them! Say them aloud with the same ease you offer up or dismiss someone else’s friend or family member.”)
Our local hospitals feel comfortable now in inviting their non-covid-19 patients in to their premises for care. Interestingly, the public is not flooding the doctors’ offices and the medical community doesn’t know why.
There are many reasons people are suddenly uninterested in getting healthcare in the way they have been, and the story in the original post is part of it. But in addition, hospitals are now a dreadful and fear-inducing place for senior citizens. People would rather die at home right now than call 9-1-1. They don’t trust the hospitals to be able to treat them successfully, to be free of disease, and to allow them to have friends or family visit. It is exactly the opposite of what sick people want for their care.
It will take a year or two for the specialty practices to get back up to speed. Every message they have sent out the last few months has contained some variation of, “We’re too busy and overwhelmed to take good care of anyone, so don’t come here.”
It all made me cry. I’m so sorry. I don’t recognize my country right now at all. I hope your father gets his memorial. Such events are for the living, after all. And do keep faith. God is bigger than the government.
I’m sorry, Amy. This sucks. My wife keeps wondering how Scott Walker would have handled this, and of course we don’t know, but I feel like he wouldn’t be pulling a one-size-fits-all solution when large portions of the state have few active cases. I am thankful we have a Republican legislature to counter him, but I’m not seeing much relief.
Thankfully, I can continue working. I know many whose businesses are being destroyed and wonder if they’ll ever be able to reopen. These are tragedies, too. Everyone’s nerves are fraying. Our governor’s reopening plan is full of nearly impossible goalposts, which will allow him to keep us locked down indefinitely.
Thank you for a wonderful insight to your perspectives. I’m so sorry to hear about your father.
What your observations make me think is that we don’t know how to handle a pandemic. Even now, we just don’t know.
As your experiences show, there are enormous costs to any kind of central command and control. It dehumanizes us all, as illustrated by your description of the cost to your family at the loss of your fathers services and the fellowship in grief they represent. It is a snapshot of one family’s cost, but there are similar stores for millions worldwide.
Much of it doesn’t even seem to make much medical sense. Cancelling all ‘elective’ surgery in anticipation of a severe lack of bed space can be incredibly destructive. Where do we get the stats on how many died due to the complications of delayed surgery, or the cost of pain or physical disability that was endured until the delay is lifted?
I live with my mother who hits 3 of the high mortality categories, (and is having difficulty walking due to the delayed ‘elective’ surgery on her back.) and I’m really trying my layman’s best to keep her environment safe from outside infection. I have self imposed much more stringent distancing / isolation practices than are required by my state. I’m working from home, and only go out for food and prescriptions. I have probably left my small property 6 times in 7 weeks. I’m taking this seriously. I’m trying to follow all guidelines.
And yet, I don’t really, in my heart, believe my efforts are going to make any difference. My layman’s common sense tells me that this virus is going to infect nearly everyone at some time, and kill those it is going to kill, and none of my efforts, or the society’s efforts and all that has been sacrificed, makes any real meaningful difference, in lives, in prevention?
Can we defeat any pandemic with these tactics ?
If not, from your perspective, what should we do next time a potential pandemic of unknown proportion is discovered?
I am so deeply sorry for your loss.