Dog Parks = Murder

 

On Saturday my wife takes the dog to the dog park. It’s a vast wooden area by the Mississippi where dogs romp off leash. Birch enjoys it, but never strays ten feet from my wife and daughter; he’s worried for them. Something could happen! Once he was trotting away to invesitage a scent, remembered that HIS PEOPLE were over there, and he ran straight into a tree. Occasionally he’ll play with another dog for some dorky mock-combat. It’s a nice hour outdoors. Everyone loves it.

Unfortunately, this may end, since my wife is committing homocide by going to the park. Straight-up murder.

CDC April 22: The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the United States Department of Agriculture’s (USDA) National Veterinary Services Laboratories (NVSL) today announced the first confirmed cases of SARS-CoV-2 (the virus that causes COVID-19) infection in two pet cats. These are the first pets in the United States to test positive for SARS-CoV-2.

The cats are okay and resting comfortably. Don’t worry, they’re not a vector, as far as we know. 

Public health officials are still learning about SARS-CoV-2, but there is no evidence that pets play a role in spreading the virus in the United States. Therefore, there is no justification in taking measures against companion animals that may compromise their welfare. Further studies are needed to understand if and how different animals, including pets, could be affected.

But. 

But. The press release has some guidelines. 

Until we know more, CDC recommends the following:

Do not let pets interact with people or other animals outside the household.

SOP around here on a good day, since Birch is a barking maniac with strangers, until they give him a biscuit.

Keep cats indoors when possible to prevent them from interacting with other animals or people.

Easy for us; as Stalin once said, No cat, no problem. 

Walk dogs on a leash, maintaining at least 6 feet from other people and animals

This I do already. Did we really need guidelines for this? Well, there’s only one more –

Avoid dog parks or public places where a large number of people and dogs gather.

Hmm. 

No. 

The dog park where my wife goes is, as I said, huge.  But it’s a dog park. If the CDC advises that you avoid it, then going there is violating CDC guidelines, and that is murder.

Ladies and gentlemen, April Ryan. “Since 1997, she has served as a White House correspondent and is the Washington, D.C., bureau chief for American Urban Radio Networks. In 2017, she joined CNN as a political analyst.”

Dumb tweet, typical of the hectoring mediocrities who find a penny on the sidewalk and think it makes them qualified to write a biography of Lincoln. But the follow-up was a thing of beauty:

By this logic, going to a huge wooded area in Minnesota that contains the occasional dog and a few score humans is a violation of the CDC guidelines, and hence is intentional termination of life. Not “akin to” or “tantamount to” or “risking the,” but MURDER. 

If you think that’s a nutty misreading of the CDC press release, that the CDC may be offering advice on those small dog-pens in urban areas and that obviously the guidelines don’t apply to spread-out areas, I agree completely, but I didn’t make the rules. There’s no such distinctions made in the guidelines. So NO DOG PARKS UNTIL EVERYONE IS TESTED. Anything else is crazy talk that’s going to get us all killed. 

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  1. OmegaPaladin Moderator
    OmegaPaladin
    @OmegaPaladin

    There’s a reason they are called “guidelines” and not “regulations” or “laws”.  Seriously, even most OSHA standards in the Code of Federal Regulations have letters of interpretation.  For guidelines, it’s about the spirit of the message, not nitpicking about the wording.  If I was an absolute stickler about every safety guideline and recommendation, I would go insane and no actual work would get done.

    I doubt April Ryan is a religious person, but she certainly treats the CDC Guidelines as holy writ.

    • #1
  2. Jon1979 Inactive
    Jon1979
    @Jon1979

    Hopefully April Ryan doesn’t hear about the Bronx Zoo. She’d go full-bore Thanos on the place….

    Seven more big cats at the Bronx Zoo have tested positive for the novel coronavirus after a tiger at the zoo contracted the virus, according to wildlife officials.

    Officials say four more tigers and three African lions tested positive for COVID-19, according to the Wildlife Conservation Society, which runs the zoo.

    The animals were tested after the first cat — a four year old Malayan tiger named Nadia — developed a dry cough and loss of appetite in late March. Nadia’s test results came back positive on April 5; all but one of the other cats that tested positive had symptoms at that time.

    • #2
  3. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    • #3
  4. tigerlily Member
    tigerlily
    @tigerlily

    April Ryan is as dumb as a fence post.

    • #4
  5. The (apathetic) King Prawn Inactive
    The (apathetic) King Prawn
    @TheKingPrawn

    Yep. That big blank space that is a county park is closed. 

    • #5
  6. E. Kent Golding Moderator
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    tigerlily (View Comment):

    April Ryan is as dumb as a fence post.

    That is very offensive to fence posts everywhere.   April Ryan is nowhere near as intelligent as a fencepost.   

    • #6
  7. She Member
    She
    @She

    James Lileks:

    <sarc on>

    Please try to keep up, April.  In New York’s largest hospital system, 88 percent of patients on ventilators didn’t make it.  If those protestors really wanted to kill people, they’d sign a contract insisting that, if they do contract coronavirus, “their” ventilator must be allocated to someone else.

    <sarc off>

    • #7
  8. Doctor Robert Member
    Doctor Robert
    @DoctorRobert

    She (View Comment):

    James Lileks:

    <sarc on>

    Please try to keep up, April. In New York’s largest hospital system, 88 percent of patients on ventilators didn’t make it. If those protestors really wanted to kill people, they’d sign a contract insisting that, if they do contract coronavirus, “their” ventilator must be allocated to someone else.

    <sarc off>

    This confuses cause and effect.  Ventilators don’t fix pneumonia.  Patients with pneumonia are only put on ventilators if they are so critically ill and weak as to not be able to maintain this most vital function, that of breathing and exchanging O2 for CO2. Patients are only ventilated if they are slipping out the door of life already.   You would expect a very high mortality among these patients and yes, here’s the proof from the cited article:

    “Eighty-eight percent of the 320 covid-19 patients on ventilators who were tracked in the study died. That compares with the roughly 80 percent of patients who died on ventilators before the pandemic,”

    Eighty-eight percent and “roughly 80 percent” are the same.

    None of which changes the discussion about April D.Ryan being dumber than a fence post.

    • #8
  9. She Member
    She
    @She

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):

    James Lileks:

    <sarc on>

    Please try to keep up, April. In New York’s largest hospital system, 88 percent of patients on ventilators didn’t make it. If those protestors really wanted to kill people, they’d sign a contract insisting that, if they do contract coronavirus, “their” ventilator must be allocated to someone else.

    <sarc off>

    This confuses cause and effect.

    Indeed it does.  But I am not confused. I hope that was clear from the <sarc> tags on my comment, which was as much an observation on the silliness of people who draw unshakeable conclusions and make incontrovertible pronouncements based on little-to-no evidence, and on “scare quote” headlines (people like April Ryan), is it was anything else.

    • #9
  10. Gazpacho Grande' Coolidge
    Gazpacho Grande'
    @ChrisCampion

    And people wonder why I push back on having the government be the entity that will protect and take care of you.  Why I think we should routinely flush 535 turds out to sea every couple of years, just to keep the stink off the place.

    • #10
  11. Jon1979 Inactive
    Jon1979
    @Jon1979

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):

    James Lileks:

    <sarc on>

    Please try to keep up, April. In New York’s largest hospital system, 88 percent of patients on ventilators didn’t make it. If those protestors really wanted to kill people, they’d sign a contract insisting that, if they do contract coronavirus, “their” ventilator must be allocated to someone else.

    <sarc off>

    This confuses cause and effect. Ventilators don’t fix pneumonia. Patients with pneumonia are only put on ventilators if they are so critically ill and weak as to not be able to maintain this most vital function, that of breathing and exchanging O2 for CO2. Patients are only ventilated if they are slipping out the door of life already. You would expect a very high mortality among these patients and yes, here’s the proof from the cited article:

    “Eighty-eight percent of the 320 covid-19 patients on ventilators who were tracked in the study died. That compares with the roughly 80 percent of patients who died on ventilators before the pandemic,”

    Eighty-eight percent and “roughly 80 percent” are the same.

    None of which changes the discussion about April D.Ryan being dumber than a fence post.

    Over at James’ other website on Wednesday, the question was posed on whether April would be OK with gay men who are HIV positive signing waivers not to accept medical treatment if they continue to have sex, or illegal drug users doing the same thing if they refuse to give up their habit. Pretty good guess that — as with the media’s different feelings about Christine Ford vs. Tara Reade — Ryan would embrace the hypocrisy and explain to everyone how the situations are totally different, so shut up.

    • #11
  12. Penfold Member
    Penfold
    @Penfold

    “So NO DOG PARKS UNTIL EVERYONE IS TESTED. ”  Once everyone is tested, the goalposts will be moved across town to a new stadium.  It will be, “till we have enough tests to test everyone every day, for 2 years.  Then, till we have a vaccine.  Then, till we have eradicated Covid-19.  Then, till we’ve eliminated all SARS-like viruses.  Then, well you get the idea.

    • #12
  13. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    James Lileks: Unfortunately, this may end, since my wife is committing homocide by going to the park. Straight-up murder.

    Be ready to have a Roger Stone-like SWAT team swoop in at 4 AM and arrest your wife . . .

    • #13
  14. philo Member
    philo
    @philo

    James Lileks: …as Stalin once said, No cat, no problem.

    So very funny.

    James Lileks: …the hectoring mediocrities who find a penny on the sidewalk and think it makes them qualified to write a biography of Lincoln.

    This should be printed and taped to every TV screen in the house…preferably over [the] area used for [the] crawl.

    • #14
  15. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    To sorta-defend the “intentional murder” tweet by AprilDRyan, if you get all your information from CNN and similar sources, you would have the impression that any contact with the Wuhan virus results in certain death. If she developed that impression from reading and watching her employer, then her conclusion would not be unreasonable. 

    That sorta-defense does not negate the above comparisons of her intellect with that of a fence post. It apparently does not occur to her to check for information from sources other than her employer. And we have seen plenty of evidence for months that lack of thinking and/or lack of curiosity almost seem to be job qualifications to become employed at CNN.

    • #15
  16. Ralphie Inactive
    Ralphie
    @Ralphie

    I think this virus infects minds also.  It’s like some people are susceptible to being hypnotized or the devil or something. 

     

    • #16
  17. Nick H Coolidge
    Nick H
    @NickH

    James Lileks: as Stalin once said, No cat, no problem. 

    Hmmm. Maybe I’ve been judging Stalin too harshly.

    • #17
  18. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Somebody is going to get murdered–at the CDC. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    • #18
  19. Concretevol Thatcher
    Concretevol
    @Concretevol

    “Karens” like this April Ryan person lecturing people to stay home are incredibly annoying……and more plentiful than I would have guessed.  Of course scratch a progressive and you will find a totalitarian underneath so it’s not surprising they have no qualms bossing anyone and everyone around.  I recently discovered on Twitter.com that there are a lot of people who get extremely angry that many Americans have a visceral dislike of the government telling them what to do, no matter what it is.  To me this is a perk not a bug but man there are so many who demand everyone obey and question nothing.  

    • #19
  20. John Berg Member
    John Berg
    @JohnBerg

    The (apathetic) King Prawn (View Comment):

    Yep. That big blank space that is a county park is closed.

    Same in the Portland area.  We have a dog park called “1,000 Acre Park” that is completely closed.  I get closing some parks and trail, I guess, but this just makes me angry.

    • #20
  21. Chris O. Coolidge
    Chris O.
    @ChrisO

    • #21
  22. James Gawron Inactive
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    JamesL,

    Listen, if an acorn falling on a squirrel in Montana can cause Global Warming then if you pass gas in an empty park in Minnesota it could cause a second wave of the pandemic. Try to be more considerate wouldja!

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #22
  23. Lois Lane Coolidge
    Lois Lane
    @LoisLane

    I complained a couple weeks ago about the city of Knoxville closing the dog park where absolutely no one was doing anything outside like snogging on the park benches.

    Rather, various dog owners responsibly spaced themselves in household knots–you knew who was a husband and wife already sharing space at home–while their dogs ran happily around getting exercise.  There was nothing wrong with this no matter how one looks at the data, and it also allowed human beings a chance to see other human beings in the sunshine.

    Well, someone implied here on Ricochet–not in some progressive rag–that I really shouldn’t have ever kept a dog in a small apartment in the city in the first place!!!

    Regardless, I am pretty over the whole Covid thing and quite willing to take my own risks in the community.  If my Aussie contracts Covid and passes that through his sloppy kisses, I am doomed anyway.  Doomed!!!!  But wouldn’t that be my Aussie murdering me, not me murdering someone else?

    Hmmmm…….

    • #23
  24. The Scarecrow Thatcher
    The Scarecrow
    @TheScarecrow

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):

    To sorta-defend the “intentional murder” tweet by AprilDRyan, if you get all your information from CNN and similar sources, you would have the impression that any contact with the Wuhan virus results in certain death. If she developed that impression from reading and watching her employer, then her conclusion would not be unreasonable.

    That sorta-defense does not negate the above comparisons of her intellect with that of a fence post. It apparently does not occur to her to check for information from sources other than her employer. And we have seen plenty of evidence for months that lack of thinking and/or lack of curiosity almost seem to be job qualifications to become employed at CNN.

    So, @fullsizetabby, if you contract the virus do we add it to the people pile or the cat pile?  Inquiring minds want to know . . . .

    • #24
  25. E. Kent Golding Moderator
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    Lois Lane (View Comment):

    I complained a couple weeks ago about the city of Knoxville closing the dog park where absolutely no one was doing anything outside like snogging on the park benches.

    Rather, various dog owners responsibly spaced themselves in household knots–you knew who was a husband and wife already sharing space at home–while their dogs ran happily around getting exercise. There was nothing wrong with this no matter how one looks at the data, and it also allowed human beings a chance to see other human beings in the sunshine.

    Well, someone implied here on Ricochet–not in some progressive rag–that I really shouldn’t have ever kept a dog in a small apartment in the city in the first place!!!

    Regardless, I am pretty over the whole Covid thing and quite willing to take my own risks in the community. If my Aussie contracts Covid and passes that through his sloppy kisses, I am doomed anyway. Doomed!!!! But wouldn’t that be my Aussie murdering me, not me murdering someone else?

    Hmmmm…….

    Only Cats have intent to murder.   Dogs are just stupid and clumsy.

    • #25
  26. James Lileks Contributor
    James Lileks
    @jameslileks

    philo (View Comment):

    James Lileks: …as Stalin once said, No cat, no problem.

    So very funny.

    James Lileks: …the hectoring mediocrities who find a penny on the sidewalk and think it makes them qualified to write a biography of Lincoln.

    This should be printed and taped to every TV screen in the house…preferably over [the] area used for [the] crawl.

    I love it when someone pulls my two favorite lines as their faves. Those just popped out when I was writing; writers know the strange feeling when you almost think you can’t take credit for a line because it just showed up.

    • #26
  27. Hugh Member
    Hugh
    @Hugh

    Penfold (View Comment):

    “So NO DOG PARKS UNTIL EVERYONE IS TESTED. ” Once everyone is tested, the goalposts will be moved across town to a new stadium. It will be, “till we have enough tests to test everyone every day, for 2 years. Then, till we have a vaccine. Then, till we have eradicated Covid-19. Then, till we’ve eliminated all SARS-like viruses. Then, well you get the idea.

    “until China has established police posts at each intersection in your town..”

    Ok I get it

    • #27
  28. Concretevol Thatcher
    Concretevol
    @Concretevol

    Lois Lane (View Comment):

    I complained a couple weeks ago about the city of Knoxville closing the dog park where absolutely no one was doing anything outside like snogging on the park benches.

    Rather, various dog owners responsibly spaced themselves in household knots–you knew who was a husband and wife already sharing space at home–while their dogs ran happily around getting exercise. There was nothing wrong with this no matter how one looks at the data, and it also allowed human beings a chance to see other human beings in the sunshine.

    Well, someone implied here on Ricochet–not in some progressive rag–that I really shouldn’t have ever kept a dog in a small apartment in the city in the first place!!!

    Regardless, I am pretty over the whole Covid thing and quite willing to take my own risks in the community. If my Aussie contracts Covid and passes that through his sloppy kisses, I am doomed anyway. Doomed!!!! But wouldn’t that be my Aussie murdering me, not me murdering someone else?

    Hmmmm…….

    Stuff like this is counter productive anyway because excessive regulations that will obviously have no effect on the spread of the virus just makes the populace less likely to take any regulations seriously.  

    • #28
  29. DrewInWisconsin is done with t… Member
    DrewInWisconsin is done with t…
    @DrewInWisconsin

    OmegaPaladin (View Comment):
    There’s a reason they are called “guidelines” and not “regulations” or “laws”.

    The problem is when the local Kommissars take “guidelines” and turn them into “laws.”

    • #29
  30. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    This would be so much better read in the voice of the late Pat Summerall.

    • #30
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