Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. There Are Violators in My Community!

 

I’m here to report that in my little collective enclave in California, some of my fellow comrades have dared to violate our leaders’ mandates and can be seen walking outside breathing in air that they believe to be fresh and uncontaminated and seemingly enjoying the warmth of the sun. How dare they! And why children don’t report their parents to the authorities is beyond me. There must be more incentives to make children more obedient to the state. Perhaps snappy little uniforms with armbands and medals bestowed upon them by mayors or our governor himself. Just a suggestion.

Now, I have noticed such enemies of the state when I make my very infrequent trips in my routinely disinfected, hermetically-sealed, hybrid automobile to the pharmacy or to my local grocery store — because relying on Amazon or other delivery services to deliver eggs or bananas is a sketchy proposition at best. When I am forced, in these instances, to break quarantine, I take all the necessary precautions by wearing my homemade plastic garbage-bag and duct-taped hazmat suit with matching Zip-Lock bag booties and snorkel mask. As an added precaution, I duct-tape my mouth as well.

I have found that when wearing my custom COVID-19 protective gear it is better to use sign language and gestures rather than trying to convey greetings and well-wishes through muffled, indecipherable speech. I do have to admit that I once bumped into supermarket shelf when my mask fogged up and knocked over four cans of Dinty Moore Chicken & Dumplings that an alert store clerk instructed me to leave on the floor so as to minimize any potential contamination even though he could see that I am conscientious pandemic shopper. I nodded my compliance and moved along.

On at least twenty-three occasions in the last week, as I drove my vehicle toward my local grocery store to pick up some critically essential items – like the time that I had to break quarantine to purchase raisins to make oatmeal-raisin cookies — I have noticed individuals and couples and, wait for it, entire families with their respective dogs just walking along a sidewalk! None of them wearing masks or protective gear – not even the dogs! I once attempted to call the police using my car’s phone option on the small display on my dashboard while wearing my thick, rubber hazmat gloves but called the wrong number and my pharmacist asked if I was having a seizure because I forgot that I had duct-taped my mouth. I panicked and quickly hung up, hoping she wouldn’t call 9-1-1 for an ambulance.

What’s particularly disturbing about these reckless violators is that they actually looked happy because they were smiling and sometimes laughing! Oh, the utter callousness! Hopefully, martial law will be declared soon to stop these dangerous violations and these dissidents can be imprisoned and removed from our city streets since many prison cells now seem to be available.

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  1. Susan Quinn Contributor

    Oh, thank you so much, Brian, for making me laugh!!

    Brian Watt: When I am forced, in these instances, to break quarantine, I take all the necessary precautions by wearing my homemade plastic garbage-bag and duct-taped hazmat suit with matching Zip-Lock bag booties and snorkel mask. As an added precaution, I duct-tape my mouth as well.

    Photos, please.

    Promise you won’t tell anyone, but the women on my cul-de-sac sneaked out with lawn chairs and our drinks and sat in the middle of the street for about an hour. Mind you, we did sit six feet apart; that limited whom we could speak to without shouting, but we felt like such rebels!

    • #1
    • April 2, 2020, at 10:58 AM PDT
    • 15 likes
  2. Percival Thatcher
    Percival Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    You cannot leave cans of Dinty Moore Chicken & Dumplings just sitting on the floor.

    That’s Just. Wrong.

    • #2
    • April 2, 2020, at 11:06 AM PDT
    • 5 likes
  3. Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… Member

    Fantastic picture of Sutherland, by the way. Did you pull that off yourself?

    • #3
    • April 2, 2020, at 12:28 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  4. Brian Watt Member
    Brian Watt Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):

    Fantastic picture of Sutherland, by the way. Did you pull that off yourself?

    Yes. I have a little bit of free time when I’m not going to the store.

    • #4
    • April 2, 2020, at 12:41 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  5. DonG (skeptic) Coolidge

    I was talking with a friend in The Netherlands. For their grocery store, they have only 10 shopping carts. Nobody can enter the store until someone leaves and the cart is decontaminated. That is a way to cut down on recreational shopping.

     

    • #5
    • April 2, 2020, at 12:45 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  6. The Reticulator Member

    Hater. Racist.

    • #6
    • April 2, 2020, at 1:02 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  7. Weeping Member

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):
    Oh, thank you so much, Brian, for making me laugh!!

    Yes, thank you!

    • #7
    • April 2, 2020, at 4:34 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  8. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    All I’ve got are a welding helmet and a pair of oven mitts. 

    Driving’s a challenge…

    • #8
    • April 2, 2020, at 4:58 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  9. Aaron Miller Member
    Aaron Miller Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    All prosecutors will be violated! No, that can’t be right.

    • #9
    • April 2, 2020, at 5:17 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  10. Steven Seward Member

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Oh, thank you so much, Brian, for making me laugh!!

    Brian Watt: When I am forced, in these instances, to break quarantine, I take all the necessary precautions by wearing my homemade plastic garbage-bag and duct-taped hazmat suit with matching Zip-Lock bag booties and snorkel mask. As an added precaution, I duct-tape my mouth as well.

    Photos, please.

    Promise you won’t tell anyone, but the women on my cul-de-sac sneaked out with lawn chairs and our drinks and sat in the middle of the street for about an hour. Mind you, we did sit six feet apart; that limited whom we could speak to without shouting, but we felt like such rebels!

    You’re lucky we don’t report you! BTW, what is your address and the names of your friends?

    • #10
    • April 2, 2020, at 5:23 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  11. Stina Member

    Brian Watt (View Comment):

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):

    Fantastic picture of Sutherland, by the way. Did you pull that off yourself?

    Yes. I have a little bit of free time when I’m not going to the store.

    23 times. In a week.

    I’m amused by your inefficiency.

    • #11
    • April 2, 2020, at 5:24 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  12. Susan Quinn Contributor

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Oh, thank you so much, Brian, for making me laugh!!

    Brian Watt: When I am forced, in these instances, to break quarantine, I take all the necessary precautions by wearing my homemade plastic garbage-bag and duct-taped hazmat suit with matching Zip-Lock bag booties and snorkel mask. As an added precaution, I duct-tape my mouth as well.

    Photos, please.

    Promise you won’t tell anyone, but the women on my cul-de-sac sneaked out with lawn chairs and our drinks and sat in the middle of the street for about an hour. Mind you, we did sit six feet apart; that limited whom we could speak to without shouting, but we felt like such rebels!

    You’re lucky we don’t report you! BTW, what is your address and the names of your friends?

    My lips are sealed !

    • #12
    • April 2, 2020, at 5:28 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  13. Cow Girl Thatcher

    This is excellent!! I’m almost waiting to have someone come up to me and yell because I don’t wear gloves and a mask if I go to the store.

    However, when I get back to my truck, I do wipe off my hands, door handles, steering wheel, etc. with the Clorox wipes I keep in there.

    Fresh air is the best cure for everything that ails us! I decided to try Cat Life the other day…I highly recommend it!

     

    • #13
    • April 2, 2020, at 5:49 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
  14. Jon1979 Lincoln

    It’s not just California — Here in West Texas, I was told today that Jeff Davis County had their sheriff’s deputies out last night at the county line, checking to see what people were doing going in and out of the county, and warning them not to get out of their cars.

    Jeff Davis County essentially is two small towns and about three dozen mountains between 6,000 and 8,000 feet on the northern edge of the Big Bend, so essentially no one’s there. But it, along with the two main Big Bend counties, Presidio and Brewster, started kicking the tourists out two weeks ago by closing all hotels and RV parks, because they were afraid Spring Break travelers to the area (the main time for tourism annually), would bring coronavirus with them and overwhelm the one regional hospital. I can actually see a little rationale behind that, but the border checkpoint sounds like drastic overkill.

    • #14
    • April 2, 2020, at 5:54 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  15. T-Fiks Member

    I’m 71 and I was riding my bike, sans mask, down the center of a quiet, suburban neighborhood street. Someone on the sidewalk I didn’t recognize saw me and started glowering at me. Fortunately, she wagged her finger rather than take out her cellphone and snap my picture for evidence. My wife got the evidence, though. (but I can’t figure out how to get it to play here).

    • #15
    • April 2, 2020, at 6:48 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  16. The Reticulator Member

    T-Fiks (View Comment):

    I’m 71 and I was riding my bike, sans mask, down the center of a quiet, suburban neighborhood street. Someone on the sidewalk I didn’t recognize saw me and started glowering at me. Fortunately, she wagged her finger rather than take out her cellphone and snap my picture for evidence. My wife got the evidence, though. (but I can’t figure out how to get it to play here).

    I haven’t been out on my bicycle since we got back from Texas a month ago. But I rode 310 miles on my trainer in March, which in some ways is more work than being out on the road, although it doesn’t exercise all the muscles as much. Today was a warm day, finally, and I spent it getting the garden ready to plant potatoes tomorrow. Tomorrow is supposed to be warm, too. I was planning to go out on one of my regular routes after the potatoes are in the ground. People are really strange if they think social distancing means not getting out for a ride. 

    • #16
    • April 2, 2020, at 7:52 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  17. aardo vozz Member

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    All I’ve got are a welding helmet and a pair of oven mitts.

    Driving’s a challenge…

    Only for the other cars. And the innocent pedestrians.

    • #17
    • April 3, 2020, at 12:29 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  18. Brian Watt Member
    Brian Watt Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    From Bloomberg News and their article California’s Stay-at-Home Order is a Legal Mess (emphasis mine):

    This language at least hints that Californians are allowed to leave their homes under some conditions, like maybe to buy food. But strictly speaking, it doesn’t say so. It only says that people should engage in social distancing if they need to leave home “to obtain … the functions above” — technically speaking, those functions in the 16 critical sectors. That’s incoherent as a matter of legal drafting. If people could leave home to “obtain” the services delivered by these critical sectors, they could leave home for almost any reason at all. If they can only leave home to “perform” these functions, then they can’t leave home for food or medicine.

    This incoherence is not trivial. An order like this is only useful if people know what it means.

    The order even omits the exceptions that were specified in the seven similar stay-at-home orders issued in the Bay Area this week. Those orders allowed people to go out to care for people in need and to exercise. Arguably, the omission of these exceptions in the state-wide order means they’re not included — even though in his speech announcing the order, Newsom mentioned dog walking.

    Fox News reports this morning that:

    A Southern California paddleboarder was arrested Thursday for allegedly violating the statewide “Safer at Home” coronavirus order, the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department said.

    Lifeguards near the Malibu Pier flagged down county deputies from the Lost Hills station after they said the unidentified man ignored their orders to get out of the water, the department wrote on Facebook.

    He could face up to six months in jail or a $1,000 fine, KTLA-TV reported.

    I’ve also heard stories of surfers being arrested in Orange County for also disobeying the stay-at-home order. Now, I’m not a surfer or paddleboarder, but my understanding is that it is highly difficult to do each activity with ten or more people on one’s board. These are activities typically done with an overabundance of social distancing and in the fresh air where the surfer or paddleboarder is not likely – as in not at all – to contract the coronavirus unless I suppose they are bitten by the Chinese Intermediate Horshoe Aqua-Bat. Of course, the probability for infection increases substantially if they are arrested by law enforcement officers – who likely have not been tested for infection – and taken into custody.

    I anticipate a flurry of lawsuits against local jurisdictions and the state challenging the legality of such measures and people refusing to pay fines. Perhaps we’ll begin to see TV commercials for law firms once specializing in DUI arrests now focusing on arrests of those taking strolls, surfing, or paddleboarding.

    • #18
    • April 3, 2020, at 7:40 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
  19. Jon1979 Lincoln

    Brian Watt (View Comment):

    ….

    I’ve also heard stories of surfers being arrested in Orange County for also disobeying the stay-at-home order. Now, I’m not a surfer or paddleboarder, but my understanding is that it is highly difficult to do each activity with ten or more people on one’s board. These are activities typically done with an overabundance of social distancing and in the fresh air where the surfer or paddleboarder is not likely – as in not at all – to contract the coronavirus unless I suppose they are bitten by the Chinese Intermediate Horshoe Aqua-Bat. Of course, the probability for infection increases substantially if they are arrested by law enforcement officers – who likely have not been tested for infection – and taken into custody.

    I anticipate a flurry of lawsuits against local jurisdictions and the state challenging the legality of such measures and people refusing to pay fines. Perhaps we’ll begin to see TV commercials for law firms once specializing in DUI arrests now focusing on arrests of those taking strolls, surfing, or paddleboarding.

    The rationale I’ve gotten from local law enforcement has been that one or two people may be able to safe distance doing individual outdoor activities. But if everyone decides to do it, then people will be too close together on the beach, at the lake, on the exercise track, etc., and we can’t have that. It’s pretty much based on the idea that people are idiots unless government tells them exactly what to do.

    • #19
    • April 3, 2020, at 7:52 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  20. Brian Watt Member
    Brian Watt Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Jon1979 (View Comment):

    Brian Watt (View Comment):

    ….

    I’ve also heard stories of surfers being arrested in Orange County for also disobeying the stay-at-home order. Now, I’m not a surfer or paddleboarder, but my understanding is that it is highly difficult to do each activity with ten or more people on one’s board. These are activities typically done with an overabundance of social distancing and in the fresh air where the surfer or paddleboarder is not likely – as in not at all – to contract the coronavirus unless I suppose they are bitten by the Chinese Intermediate Horshoe Aqua-Bat. Of course, the probability for infection increases substantially if they are arrested by law enforcement officers – who likely have not been tested for infection – and taken into custody.

    I anticipate a flurry of lawsuits against local jurisdictions and the state challenging the legality of such measures and people refusing to pay fines. Perhaps we’ll begin to see TV commercials for law firms once specializing in DUI arrests now focusing on arrests of those taking strolls, surfing, or paddleboarding.

    The rationale I’ve gotten from local law enforcement has been that one or two people may be able to safe distance doing individual outdoor activities. But if everyone decides to do it, then people will be too close together on the beach, at the lake, on the exercise track, etc., and we can’t have that. It’s pretty much based on the idea that people are idiots unless government tells them exactly what to do.

    • #20
    • April 3, 2020, at 7:58 AM PDT
    • Like
  21. The Reticulator Member

    Jon1979 (View Comment):
    The rationale I’ve gotten from local law enforcement has been that one or two people may be able to safe distance doing individual outdoor activities. But if everyone decides to do it, then people will be too close together on the beach, at the lake, on the exercise track, etc., and we can’t have that. It’s pretty much based on the idea that people are idiots unless government tells them exactly what to do.

    I hate that excuse that governments tend to give us: “But what if everyone decides to do…?”

    My response: If everyone decides to do it, then we will have a problem that we will need to address.

    • #21
    • April 3, 2020, at 9:38 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  22. Brian Watt Member
    Brian Watt Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    — Amy (@MaybeAmes) April 3, 2020

    • #22
    • April 3, 2020, at 11:53 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  23. E. Kent Golding Member

    @kozak

    • #23
    • April 3, 2020, at 12:42 PM PDT
    • Like
  24. The Reticulator Member

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    T-Fiks (View Comment):

    I’m 71 and I was riding my bike, sans mask, down the center of a quiet, suburban neighborhood street. Someone on the sidewalk I didn’t recognize saw me and started glowering at me. Fortunately, she wagged her finger rather than take out her cellphone and snap my picture for evidence. My wife got the evidence, though. (but I can’t figure out how to get it to play here).

    I haven’t been out on my bicycle since we got back from Texas a month ago. But I rode 310 miles on my trainer in March, which in some ways is more work than being out on the road, although it doesn’t exercise all the muscles as much. Today was a warm day, finally, and I spent it getting the garden ready to plant potatoes tomorrow. Tomorrow is supposed to be warm, too. I was planning to go out on one of my regular routes after the potatoes are in the ground. People are really strange if they think social distancing means not getting out for a ride.

    Yesterday I got the potatoes in the ground and went for a 14 mile ride. I got smiles rather than glowers from people along the way. Well, actually one smile from a young woman working in her yard. 

    Michigan is actually encouraging this kind of activity as long as people maintain their social distances. It’s keeping the state parks open, too, although the running-water restrooms and showers are closed. But there are porta-potties and sanitizer. It is recommended that people make camping reservations online before going to a state park for that purpose. Later I might plan a camping tour of 3 days or so, but there are complications to work out. It has been five years since I last went bicycle camping, and I had sometimes wondered if I’d ever do it again. (I’m 71, too.) 

    • #24
    • April 4, 2020, at 9:36 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  25. Zafar Member

    In NSW:

    You must stay at home, unless you are going to:

    • work (where you can’t work remotely)
    • school or an educational institution
    • shop for food and essentials
    • get medical care or supplies
    • exercise.

    You may only leave home with a reasonable excuse, including to

    • avoid injury or illness or escape a risk of harm

    • deal with emergencies or on compassionate grounds

    • access childcare

    • provide care or assistance (including personal care) to a vulnerable person or to provide emergency assistance

    • attend a wedding (limited to a total of 5 people) or funeral (limited to a total of 10 people, excluding the person/s necessary to conduct the funeral e.g. funeral director)

    • move to a new place of residence, or between your different places of residence (a holiday is not an acceptable reason)

    • donate blood

    • undertake legal obligations

    • access social services, employment services, services provided to victims (including as victims of crime), domestic violence services, and mental health services

    • continue existing arrangements for access to, and contact between, parents and children for children who do not live in the same household as their parents or one of their parents

    • if you are a priest, minister of religion or member of a religious order, go to a place of worship or to provide pastoral care.

    So maybe grammatically challenged, but reasonably clear.

    I’ve been taking my mother for a walk every day – today we saw police moving on people who had settled down to hang out in a park, but also saw lots of people walking, jogging, exercising while keeping their distance.

    (Though this is not universal – beaches seem to make us lose our heads.)

    • #25
    • April 4, 2020, at 9:32 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  26. Steven Seward Member

    Zafar (View Comment):

    In NSW:

    You must stay at home, unless you are going to:

    • work (where you can’t work remotely)
    • school or an educational institution
    • shop for food and essentials
    • get medical care or supplies
    • exercise.

    What is NSW?

    • #26
    • April 4, 2020, at 11:17 PM PDT
    • Like
  27. The Reticulator Member

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Zafar (View Comment):

    In NSW:

    You must stay at home, unless you are going to:

    • work (where you can’t work remotely)
    • school or an educational institution
    • shop for food and essentials
    • get medical care or supplies
    • exercise.

    What is NSW?

     New South Wales, I presume. 

    • #27
    • April 4, 2020, at 11:31 PM PDT
    • Like
  28. Zafar Member

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Zafar (View Comment):

    In NSW:

    You must stay at home, unless you are going to:

    • work (where you can’t work remotely)
    • school or an educational institution
    • shop for food and essentials
    • get medical care or supplies
    • exercise.

    What is NSW?

    New South Wales, I presume.

    Orrrrrrrrrrrr……any direction but East. ??

    • #28
    • April 5, 2020, at 3:11 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  29. Steven Seward Member

    Zafar (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Zafar (View Comment):

    In NSW:

    You must stay at home, unless you are going to:

    • work (where you can’t work remotely)
    • school or an educational institution
    • shop for food and essentials
    • get medical care or supplies
    • exercise.

    What is NSW?

    New South Wales, I presume.

    Orrrrrrrrrrrr……any direction but East. ??

    So is it New South Wales?

    • #29
    • April 5, 2020, at 3:32 AM PDT
    • Like
  30. Zafar Member

    Yes, it’s New South Wales.

    I checked the link and the website never spells it out. Huh. 

    • #30
    • April 5, 2020, at 7:53 AM PDT
    • Like