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What’s a Mom to Do?
When a stay-at-home mom for 20-plus years needs to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up, what is she to do? It’s awesome to see my adult children, who we homeschooled through high school, maneuver these decisions, but it’s not so fun when you’re a 50-something who made a choice to stay home to raise her children and forego a career and second income. The keyword here is choice, as I don’t intend for this to sound like a Dear Diary entry. I wouldn’t change a thing.
I have skills. During those years, I volunteered, worked short-term project jobs, and have worked as a blogger and social media manager for two businesses during the last four years since moving back to AZ. But those jobs have ended and now I feel sort of lost.
Businesses are hiring people with college degrees and a lot of experience that I don’t possess. It’s easy to pick from that pool because everyone has a degree now. Well, except for me. I’ve been busy working to help put my kids through college so they can get degrees in their chosen fields. The irony doesn’t escape me. I have no time or interest in going back to college but I am putting myself through Photoshop bootcamp so I can be more marketable. This is how I have learned everything so far: by doing it. But there isn’t a piece of paper for that.
On the upside, if Bernie wins the presidency, at least I can still be a stay-at-home mom to my grown children who probably won’t have jobs either. I make a nice loaf of gluten-free bread and there will probably be a market for that.
If Bernie wins, you can go college because it’ll be free! Maybe they’ll come up with a major called “Stay-At-Home Studies” . . .
My suggestion is network. Figure out what you are good at, what you enjoy doing, and what people are paying for. Then target your job search at the intersection of the the three answers.
Talk to your friends, relations, and acquaintances. Check with members of the congregation where you worship (if you have one) or organizations to which you belong. (Once, when I did a job search like this, I got help from someone in a ship modeling society to which I belonged.) See if they know of someone who needs someone in your search target. Focus on small businesses and family-owned businesses.
Check with small businesses with help wanted signs. (Example – there is a small sign shop in my neighborhood that needs new designers every three months or so. They hire college students who move on when they get their degree. If they could find someone who would stay, they would be thrilled.)
It won’t necessarily be easy, but it is a way around the degree trap.
Worth it, though! Thank you!
Been there. This was what we had planned with my late wife, when the youngest got through college. Then she got cancer.
Is income right away essential? If not, do the work you want to do as a volunteer for a charity (as you apparently have). That work goes on your resume as the highlight so future prospective employers see that first, and maybe ignore the lack of a college degree.
I have the problem that I was prematurely retired (laid off at age 62) but had risen in my professional field to the point that I am overqualified for all but a few jobs in my field. So now what do I do? I am exploring how to use my skills in volunteer positions so that I can stay intellectually engaged, even if there is no income, as we (Mrs. Tabby and I) are financially set so that I don’t have to earn an ongoing income.
Although it was 50 years ago, the networking worked for my mother when my parents were divorced and she had to get back into the paid labor force after about 20 years as a full time homemaker.
My mother’s skills were attention to detail. She let everyone know she needed a job.
First, the father of one of my then-classmates who owned a factory hired her to do clerical bookkeeping work in the factory. It was at minimum wage, but it got her work history started.
Then a long-time friend of my mother’s went to work on a medical school research project just as that project needed someone to study medical records near our house. I spent most of a summer quizzing my mother on medical terminology as she worked through a self-study course to get up to speed. Although initially a temporary job, she continued to work for the medical school for about 25 years.
To follow up on @seawriter‘s good advice – I suggest you formally identify and quantify those specific skills and expertise from your prior volunteer and paid work and the things you really enjoyed and were excellent at on the short term (paid) projects. Then package them as appropriate in a portfolio of sorts to attach to your resume or in-person application. (I think you’re right – on-line applications will likely screen you out of many jobs.) I’m thinking of the many small businesses here on the Seacoast in NH which maybe well established but not “current” if you will on media presentation. The chronic complaint is of lack of experienced and capable employees. (THe former Governor of Maine’s wife worked seasonally in a Portland restaurant because the money was so good and there just aren’t enough people to work.) Network the heck out of everyone you know who knows someone with a business and have no pride about telling them you’re starting your own business of “Special Projects in _____.” Don’t leave former employers off that list: tell your prior boss that you liked the work and would like to do more. Can they refer you or offer advice about similar situations? You May not get an employee job, but can start your own business in something you are great at. I’ll bet you are excellent at more than you know and own to.
Finding a new job stinks – who likes having to ask someone to like them? I think many will want to help and want you to succeed. You did the first hard bit already – you asked for help.
A technical college can teach specific skills without so much unwanted fluff. In my case, needing to have an upgrade for my ancient skills I entered a two-year technical college and learned industrial automation technology. I was 55 when I graduated and worked in that field until retirement.
And it was fun! The kids in my classes were the same age as my own kids and fun to be around.
Mrs. B worked at an embroiderer’s shop. They put logos on caps, jackets and uniforms. They also did some garment printing. She had to quit for health reasons, but her former boss would take her back in a blink. If you are familiar with computers, sewing machines, threads, and fabric, those are pluses, but not necessities. If you can file, fill out order forms and help with the office work, so much the better. Good workers are hard to find because there is not much of a career path, but if you can view it as supplemental income it can be fairly steady. A lot of the people my wife’s boss got were students who were going to be moving on. Someone who can stay around long enough to learn the skills and possibly train others would be welcome.
There are many organizations that are designed to help women who raised their own kids return to the work force. Do a Web search with keywords “help stay-at-home Moms return to work” and see what pops up. the Wall Street Journal does stories about them all the time.
I have been contemplating this very thing.
Your local library probably has a copy of the book, What Color is your Parachute?, a self-help book by Richard Nelson Bolles intended for job seekers. There’s so much advice in the book that it can be overwhelming, but you can dip into it where you want to. It helps you identify your skills and strengths and preferences. I found parts of it inspirational, particularly the non-conventional ways to job hunt.
I got my nursing degree at 50; I wasn’t even close to being the oldest in my class.
Can I mention a company? I just retired from Edward Jones. Great company, campus in Tempe and branch offices everywhere. I started there at 45 after 25 years as a bartender. The branch office administrator position (BOA) requires maturity, attention to detail, adaptability and you needs to play well with others. No degree needed.
I just found it in my husband’s book stash! Thanks so much!
Thank you. I knew I couldn’t be alone!
Income is essential. We have two in college that we partially pay for. I do enjoy volunteering and have done quite a lot, and it’s great you are looking to do that. It’s very rewarding when you find a good fit. Thank you for commenting!
Aww I’m so sorry for your loss.
I found myself in your position in 2012. I had (and still have) my own small business, but it was not generating enough income or demanding enough. Because of the business I could navigate Microsoft Office fairly well and was a go-to for all my friends with Excel, their iPhones etc
so … I second the networking advice. In 2012 I started working for a friend who was a busy realtor. Since then I’ve built websites for maybe a dozen realtors, worked for the past five years for a mortgage broker and spent a year working for a lawyer on an attempted murder case.
every single person I’ve worked for was / is a friend, neighbor, or both.
Edit: NOT generating enough income …
I have a daughter just about at this stage. She has the degree but hasn’t worked outside the home for almost twenty years. Well, what d’ya know? Her husband manages a small business and he can put her right to work. She may stay for a while or she may not, but it does offer an opportunity for transition. Another benefit of small local businesses.
Make sure it is a more recent copy.
InformationHe first published it in 1970 and revised it annually since 1975 (I imagine until his death in 2017).I’ve been trying to buy a house for the last few months. I don’t know what your interests are, but if you would consider becoming a home appraiser there is a crying need, at least in my part of the country. It doesn’t require college to get certified, and I would think it would offer the independence I would like if I were starting over.
If you’re technically inclined, there are some pretty good MOOCs out there on EdX and Coursera. It can be a low-cost way to try out a different field of endeavor (and it’s not all tech). I’ve picked up more programming doing online courses than in courses taught at the local state university’s continuing ed arm.
Thanks for all the encouragement! This is a great community and I value each of you!