I Looked on in Horror

 

I looked on in horror as the bug climbed the chair.
The food had always been dandy, beyond compare,
But virtues were lacking in this restaurant’s staff.
Slow to take orders, bring checks, and cleaning? A laugh
To see the rate they moved. Still, the taste of the fare.

The cuisine was unknown to other joints near there.
And that was the appeal. That was my only care,
But then I spotted the bug, the ultimate gaff:
I looked on in horror.

La Cucaracha the staff would call it from where
They had come and in the langage that’s spoken there.
It crawled along the floor and by a lady’s calf
Before choosing another leg to scale by half
And lodge then beside her on the seat of the chair.
I looked on in horror.

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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Ever lose a restaurant choice to an incident, perhaps quite a small one?

    • #1
  2. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Ever lose a restaurant choice to an incident, perhaps quite a small one?

    Yes! And that was a very good poem!  When you are sitting in a booth and there is a bunch of dust on the divider……I wonder what the kitchen is like….

    • #2
  3. SkipSul Inactive
    SkipSul
    @skipsul

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Ever lose a restaurant choice to an incident, perhaps quite a small one?

    Yes, but also large ones, like getting obviously rancid food.

    • #3
  4. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Ever lose a restaurant choice to an incident, perhaps quite a small one?

    You mean like my favorite tapas place getting shut down by the health department?  What a shame.  Those little lamb chops on a stick…

    • #4
  5. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Although, if they call the restaurant La Cucaracha, they’ll get a lot more flex on that sort of thing.

    • #5
  6. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Ever lose a restaurant choice to an incident, perhaps quite a small one?

    You mean like my favorite tapas place getting shut down by the health department? What a shame. Those little lamb chops on a stick…

    Oh, man. There was (and may still be) a tapas place in Alexandria, Virginia where they had some great stuff. My favorite was always the bacon-wrapped dates.

    • #6
  7. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Although, if they call the restaurant La Cucaracha, they’ll get a lot more flex on that sort of thing.

    True, but that is not the name.

    • #7
  8. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Ever lose a restaurant choice to an incident, perhaps quite a small one?

    You mean like my favorite tapas place getting shut down by the health department? What a shame. Those little lamb chops on a stick…

    Oh, man. There was (and may still be) a tapas place in Alexandria, Virginia where they had some great stuff. My favorite was always the bacon-wrapped dates.

    Make ’em at home – they’re awesome! 

    Oven or grill, you can vary the goat cheese inside, add an almond (smokehouse or regular). 

    • #8
  9. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

     – cont. – 

    I reckon a person could put them on a long skewer instead of one toothpick per, and maybe smoke them rather than grill them. 

    • #9
  10. MeandurΦ Member
    MeandurΦ
    @DeanMurphy

    If your flat-top is visible from the seating area, it should be clean.

    Sorry Trivelli’s; that was the last time.

    • #10
  11. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    On the other hand, the people at my table at a conference in a luxury resort found it quite charming when a snail slithered out of the centerpiece of flowers that had obviously been picked from the resorts own foliage. The snail provided a note of authenticity to the resort’s attachment to the local environment. One of my tablemates scooped the snail up on an index card and deposited the creature back outside in a flower bed. 

    • #11
  12. Ray Kujawa Coolidge
    Ray Kujawa
    @RayKujawa

    Which one moved slower, the bug or the wait staff?

    • #12
  13. Ray Kujawa Coolidge
    Ray Kujawa
    @RayKujawa

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Ever lose a restaurant choice to an incident, perhaps quite a small one?

    Two incidents of the identical kind, but actually we have been back there since then. Both had to do with a live bug in the salad (they are not the only ones who’ve been guilty of this). They just seem to like having everything so fresh out here in the Pacific Northwest. Can’t be too bothered to do a thorough job soaking a salad with water from some hose. Maybe not.

    • #13
  14. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    TBA (View Comment):

    Make ’em at home – they’re awesome! 

    Oven or grill, you can vary the goat cheese inside, add an almond (smokehouse or regular). 

    Trust me, I have done so. Alexandria is a little far to go from Detroit for a snack.

    • #14
  15. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):

    On the other hand, the people at my table at a conference in a luxury resort found it quite charming when a snail slithered out of the centerpiece of flowers that had obviously been picked from the resorts own foliage. The snail provided a note of authenticity to the resort’s attachment to the local environment. One of my tablemates scooped the snail up on an index card and deposited the creature back outside in a flower bed.

    Well, a snail is definitely not a cockroach.

    • #15
  16. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Ray Kujawa (View Comment):

    Which one moved slower, the bug or the wait staff?

    Hard to say, but I think the wait staff.

    • #16
  17. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    Memories.  I’m old enough to remember when dive bars really were dive bars–as opposed to today’s bars that take on the affectations of dive bars.  Same friend.  Same bar.  Every time.  A bug of indeterminate origin crosses the bar and my buddy says “Buy that man a drink!”  Every time.

    • #17
  18. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Hoyacon (View Comment):

    Memories. I’m old enough to remember when dive bars really were dive bars–as opposed to today’s bars that take on the affectations of dive bars. Same friend. Same bar. Every time. A bug of indeterminate origin crosses the bar and my buddy says “Buy that man a drink!” Every time.

    That reminds me of sitting in this diner with a couple of friends back about college age when a cockroach wandered onto the table. One of the guys took one of the inverted coffee cups and put it over the roach. Just a weird vignette coming back to mind from over three decades ago.

    • #18
  19. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Just squish the damn thing and drive on with the meal.  What’m I missing here?

    • #19
  20. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Just squish the damn thing and drive on with the meal. What’m I missing here?

    It was several feet away, and I didn’t want to draw attention to it, especially from the lady whom it had chosen to cozy up with. She might have reacted loudly, and I’m not one for loud noises. I already have severe enough tinnitus. I don’t need ladies in hysterics shouting nearby.

    • #20
  21. JosePluma Thatcher
    JosePluma
    @JosePluma

    Once I ate at a restaurant with my family, then, by coincidence, took an alarm call there a couple of days later.   The door to the kitchen was open, and when I shined a light inside cockroaches parted like the Red Sea.  I never ate there again, needless to say, and the building now houses a Laundromat.

    I investigated a robbery at another restaurant.  The host who was robbed stated the offender put his bare hand on the counter.  I called a field investigator, but he could not recover any prints because the counter was too greasy.

    • #21
  22. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    Once I ate at a restaurant with my family, then, by coincidence, took an alarm call there a couple of days later. The door to the kitchen was open, and when I shined a light inside cockroaches parted like the Red Sea. I never ate there again, needless to say, and the building now houses a Laundromat.

    I investigated a robbery at another restaurant. The host who was robbed stated the offender put his bare hand on the counter. I called a field investigator, but he could not recover any prints because the counter was too greasy.

    Yep. You see behind the scenes, and sometimes the place becomes rather unappetizing.

    • #22
  23. Al French Moderator
    Al French
    @AlFrench

    My wife once discovered a cockroach inside her half eaten enchilada.

    • #23
  24. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    Arahant (View Comment):

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    Once I ate at a restaurant with my family, then, by coincidence, took an alarm call there a couple of days later. The door to the kitchen was open, and when I shined a light inside cockroaches parted like the Red Sea. I never ate there again, needless to say, and the building now houses a Laundromat.

    I investigated a robbery at another restaurant. The host who was robbed stated the offender put his bare hand on the counter. I called a field investigator, but he could not recover any prints because the counter was too greasy.

    Yep. You see behind the scenes, and sometimes the place becomes rather unappetizing.

    Why I don’t like watching those restaurant makeover shows.

    Sometimes those home cookin’ mom and pop restaurants have disgusting kitchens, and it makes you wonder what the people are thinking who run them.

    • #24
  25. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Al French (View Comment):

    My wife once discovered a cockroach inside her half eaten enchilada.

    Better than a half eaten cockroach.

    • #25
  26. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Al French (View Comment):

    My wife once discovered a cockroach inside her half eaten enchilada.

    Ewww.

    • #26
  27. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Al French (View Comment):

    My wife once discovered a cockroach inside her half eaten enchilada.

    Ewww.

    Extra protein. What’m I missing here?

    • #27
  28. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Al French (View Comment):

    My wife once discovered a cockroach inside her half eaten enchilada.

    Ewww.

    Extra protein. What’m I missing here?

    My little slice of the military was nicknamed “Snake Eaters” for a reason.  If you’re in the boonies, and no Big Macs are available, then sure.  Consume what you need to fuel the machine.

    But out at a Mexican restaurant on date night with M’lady?  

    Eww.  

    • #28
  29. MeandurΦ Member
    MeandurΦ
    @DeanMurphy

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    My little slice of the military was nicknamed “Snake Eaters” for a reason. If you’re in the boonies

    Or in San Antonio…

    • #29
  30. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    MeandurΦ (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    My little slice of the military was nicknamed “Snake Eaters” for a reason. If you’re in the boonies

    Or in San Antonio…

    Same t’ing.

    • #30

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