The Beauty of Hate

 

I believe that the reason leftism tends to win is that hate is a more powerful emotion than love. This was the strength that guided Nazi Germany. Hitler had many interesting ideas for the economy which may or may not have worked, but what led to his success was his hatred of the Jews. That hatred made him popular.

This seems impossible in today’s more enlightened times, if one can avoid reading the perspective of German film director Werner Herzog: “Dear America: You are waking up, as Germany once did, to the awareness that 1/3 of your people would kill another 1/3, while 1/3 watches.” That’s ridiculous, right? We’ve moved past hatred. Right?

My mother’s physician was a nice person. The 1970s had hit her harder than some, and she had a pleasant “live and let live” hippie vibe to her, and she was a very nice person. Until she killed my mother. That changed things. At least for me. It was a small mistake, really. Simple oversight. Perfectly understandable. To anyone except me. I spend my life trying to avoid small mistakes like that. So I expect more. And when you’re taking care of my mother, I expect a lot more. And I am, by God, keeping score. Well, actually, perhaps God is not keeping score. I suppose God may take a more charitable view of such oversights. But I do not. I’m keeping score. Perhaps God will forgive her doctor. But I never will. When my mother died, I learned a lot about hatred.

Early in my career, I had a patient who was addicted to narcotics. She attempted to calm my concerns about renewing her prescriptions, stating, “I don’t take these drugs to get high, I take them so I can feel normal.” That makes sense, if you understand addiction. It’s not right, it’s not wrong, but that’s the way it is.

My sister and I with our parents.

My visceral hatred of the physician who killed my mother makes me feel normal.

That sounds horrifying. But to me, it’s strangely comforting.

Hate is more powerful than love. It’s like a warm blanket that I wrap myself in, when I miss my Mom.

I take a dim view of human nature. Especially my own. When atheists say that no God could possibly love such flawed individuals as us, I am sympathetic to their view. It’s the only view of atheism that makes any sense to me. Who could possibly know me and love me, at the same time?

No one, of course. Except for my God, and my Mom.

She loves me, no matter how screwed up I am. It can be hard to see God, sometimes. But my Mom was always there, in plain sight, but in the background. Joining others in their praise of my good qualities, and remaining respectfully quiet when others would point out my obvious deficiencies. She was my biggest fan. Even when she shouldn’t have been.

Then one day she begins to cough. She’d never smoked. It was probably a cold or something. I was busy. I didn’t check on it, figuring that her doctor would be all over it. Her doctor wasn’t all over it, although she was a very nice person. My mother died of lung cancer soon afterward, once it spread to that remarkable brain of hers. What a brain. She was brilliant. What a beautiful brain.

I am thankful that I got to inherit part of her beautiful brain. And I take comfort in her loss by hating her doctor. I feel better. I really do. I love hatred. So is that love? Or is that hatred? I’m not sure. But I feel better. I really do.

Conservatism is based on love. You want others to do well, even if you don’t know them, and they do better than you. You love others, so you wish them well. You don’t tolerate others. You love others. So you wish them well.

Leftism is based on hate. It’s not fair that others live well while you struggle. Life is not fair, and you want compensation. Not for me, but for my mother, who deserved better than she got. Her loss was not my fault, but yours, somehow. So it’s up to you to compensate me for her losses. My vote depends upon your response to suffering you never understood. How could you possibly understand?

As a conservative, I love love. Love makes the world go ‘round.

Mom and I in 1969

As a little boy who misses his Mom, I love hate. It fills a gap that I can’t ignore. I feel better with hate.

So if you were running for office, which would you hope to take advantage of?

It’s easy to criticize politicians who prey on those who hate. But you’re merely projecting your own insecurities. Politicians don’t hate. Politicians are just trying to get votes. They don’t hate. Voters do. Voters like you and me, for example. Why?

Because hate is beautiful. Like so many awful things, it’s beautiful.

There’s a reason that no democracy can survive for long in this world.

I love love.

But hate is wonderful. It’s beautiful, and pure, and powerful, and wonderful.

Screw love. I feel better with hate.

My beautiful mother is gone.

So God help us all.


When I drink too much, and get depressed, and write something, I generally get up the next morning and delete it. This essay is a good example of why I do that.

But I kept this one, because this essay is also an effort to explain that once we discard the idea that there is an all-powerful and all-knowing God that loves us despite our obvious faults, we have given up hope of loving one another. Thus, once we move from “love thy neighbor” to “tolerate thy neighbor” we have given up hope for love, and all we are left with is hate. And our infatuation with the beauty of hate will lead us to forget what love really means.

Love feels good. But hate is addictive.

I miss my Mom.

God help us all.

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  1. DonG (skeptic) Coolidge
    DonG (skeptic)
    @DonG

    Dr. Bastiat: the reason leftism tends to win is that hate is a more powerful emotion than love.

    In addition to wrath (hate), the Left also has an excess of envy, sloth, and pride.

    • #1
  2. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    I started composing a response to this. The impulse was obviated by the postscript.

    God bless, Doc.

    • #2
  3. Kevin Schulte Member
    Kevin Schulte
    @KevinSchulte

    Thanks Doc for such raw honesty. 

    We are all a Glorious Ruin. Glorious, because we are image bearers. Ruin, because sin is always lurking.

    Glorious ruin, is from Dan Allender 

    Steve Brown – “Kiss your demons on the lips”  Meaning face them, don’t hide from them.

    God bless 

    • #3
  4. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell
    @JimMcConnell

    A powerful post, Doc. I’m just very glad you ended it as you did.

    • #4
  5. MichaelKennedy Inactive
    MichaelKennedy
    @MichaelKennedy

    I was always aware of the possibility of mistakes killing some one.  I remember distinctly the first patient I killed.  He was a visiting professor of English Literature from UK but teaching at (I think ) Pomona College.  He had neglected to get American health insurance so he ended up at LA County Hospital.  I was an intern.  He had had cancer of the rectum and had recurrence.  I can’t remember where.  The appropriate treatment was chemotherapy with 5 FU, a common drug that mimics Uracil, a component of RNA, but which does not work as normal RNA.  The County Hospital had a drug formulary and I consulted it.  It recommended a “loading dose” based on body weight, then a daily dose.  I calculated the loading dose and administered it.  I was off the following weekend and, when I returned Monday, I realized he was not doing well.  His white count was too low.  The loading dose was too much for him. We had talked about a book of poetry he was working on and I had wanted to help him live long enough to finish it.

    Instead, I had shortened his life with my enthusiasm and desire to help. I had not made a mistake.  The formulary was just not right. He died as a result. I have never forgotten him and can almost see his face after 53 years.  I have never given a loading dose of 5 FU since but that did him no good.  We live with these stories.  I have a book of them,

    • #5
  6. Clavius Thatcher
    Clavius
    @Clavius

    Thank you for posting this deeply personal story.

    • #6
  7. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    Dr. Bastiat: Conservatism is based on love. You want others to do well, even if you don’t know them, and they do better than you. You love others, so you wish them well. You don’t tolerate others. You love others. So you wish them well.

    The love in conservatism is deeply related to gratitude.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G60md1hvFOk

    Socialist leftism in general and Wokism in particular appeal to jealousy and resentment. Those damn capitalists have all the money and they won’t share it with you and this society is a terribly sexist, anti-gay transphobic and so on.

    Politics often represent our core sentiments rather than our core principals.

    • #7
  8. Zafar Member
    Zafar
    @Zafar

    I’m sorry for your loss.

    Is hate more bearable than sorrow?

    • #8
  9. OmegaPaladin Moderator
    OmegaPaladin
    @OmegaPaladin

    When my mom died, I was in for a lot of confusion as well as sadness.

    Why had she just died?  No trip to the hospital, no being bedridden.  She was alive and walking around when I left for grade school and dead when I got home.

    Why couldn’t I see my mom’s family afterward?  Who were these Uncles and Aunts I remembered, but were left mysterious and not talked about?  Was it something I did?

    And then, one day, I was snooping on the old computer, in the Wordperfect directory.  There was a letter explaining it all.

    My mom’s doctors had screwed up massively.  They had told him her breathing difficulties were no big deal, and he believed them.  For that, he was blamed by my mom’s family.  They even considered suing for custody.  I understand your hatred, Dr. Bastiat.  I was envisioning torture for this doctor – in considerable detail.  I don’t think he ever even apologized to us.

    I think you missed something else – hate is a shield.  It is armor.  Hatred says your enemies are beneath contempt.  Death is too good for them.  When they insult you, it hardens your heart to them.  If you no longer view a person as human, their insults are like a dog barking.  It keeps you from considering their ideas, because that is a weakness.  For example, when God knocks at the door of a hard-core atheist, he bars and bolts the door, then booby traps it with a claymore mine. 

    • #9
  10. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    DonG (skeptic) (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat: the reason leftism tends to win is that hate is a more powerful emotion than love.

    In addition to wrath (hate), the Left also has an excess of envy, sloth, and pride.

    Now you’re going to tell us the Seven Deadly Sins were not a how to manual.

    • #10
  11. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Forgiveness is for we who forgive, not for the forgiven.

    • #11
  12. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Forgiveness is for we who forgive, not for the forgiven.

    Kinda like how funerals are the bereaved and not for the dead?

    • #12
  13. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    Zafar (View Comment):

    I’m sorry for your loss.

    Is hate more bearable than sorrow?

    Yes it is. Hate is much more bearable than sorrow. Hate gives a justification and it gives action and it doesn’t hurt as much. Sorrow just hurts and hurts. 

    • #13
  14. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Forgiveness is for we who forgive, not for the forgiven.

    Kinda like how funerals are the bereaved and not for the dead?

    Yep. And marriage ceremonies are for family and friends more than for the couples involved. Many things are like that.

    • #14
  15. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Zafar (View Comment):

    I’m sorry for your loss.

    Is hate more bearable than sorrow?

    Yes it is. Hate is much more bearable than sorrow. Hate gives a justification and it gives action and it doesn’t hurt as much. Sorrow just hurts and hurts.

    Sorrow is a flower that blooms in beauty and dies in happiness.

    • #15
  16. Hartmann von Aue Member
    Hartmann von Aue
    @HartmannvonAue

    Thanks for this very engaging post, both visceral and thoughtful at the same time. One thing my experience has shown me is that people often forget that the God who is love also detests and loathes evil. Psalm 11:5 tells us in fact that  (in my translation) “the wicked and those who love violence he hates with a passion”, while Paul admonishes us to “hate what is evil, cling to what is good” in Romans 12:9.   Love of the beloved should engender hatred of  that which does evil  to the beloved-  whether that is the beloved’s own sin,  a physical disease or a human enemy. I see nothing wrong with that kind of  hate and everything right with it.

    This hatred of the doctor whose incompetence led to you losing your mother, I know you are struggling with it, that it comes  out when your guard is down, and that you, as you write, honestly find it comforting, but it is a false comfort, which fact your epilogue demonstrates that you already know. If you mother trusted in the the Lord, she is more alive now than she was when you knew her. That is not a platitude. It is reality. As you know if you read my posts here, my own parents died in  2015 and 17 respectively, so it is a grief I am familiar with, and hatred for an evil  done to someone I love is  also a turn of soul with which I am quite acquainted. I know what it will do to you over time so I urgently encourage you to seek deep healing of your grief from the Holy Spirit.

    The comfort and love of the Lord be with you.

    • #16
  17. PHCheese Inactive
    PHCheese
    @PHCheese

    Your mother was beautiful.

    • #17
  18. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    The only good thing about hate is it rarely lasts.  It has to be fed continually to survive, and if not fed, it consumes itself.  Look at how the MSM keeps fanning the flames.

    However, we’re starting to see the revolution eat its own, like when a popular leftist couldn’t sit and have a good time with a former Republican President without harsh criticism from her own ranks.  Maybe the hate is so visceral, the MSM cannot keep up feeding it.  I don’t know.

    When the hate gets personal against an individual, it’s hard to let go and forgive the person, especially if they show no remorse for their actions.  However, it’s best to try so as not to be consumed by it.

    • #18
  19. Phil Turmel Inactive
    Phil Turmel
    @PhilTurmel

    In vino, veritas.

    I’m glad you didn’t delete this, Doc.  Thank you for sharing it.  My faith says we all struggle with the dark.

    As for politicians, I think the best of them play on both our loves and our hates.  The combination makes us feel virtuous as we let our darker sides out to play.  I think the most effective of these ploys is “Us versus Them”. /:

    • #19
  20. Addiction Is A Choice Member
    Addiction Is A Choice
    @AddictionIsAChoice

    Dr. Bastiat: Love feels good. But hate is addictive.

    Hate is a choice.

    • #20
  21. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Dr. Bastiat: Love feels good. But hate is addictive.

    I have no hate, in my mind or my heart.

    Rage, though?

    I got Rage for days.

    • #21
  22. Kevin Schulte Member
    Kevin Schulte
    @KevinSchulte

    Addiction Is A Choice (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat: Love feels good. But hate is addictive.

    Hate is a choice.

    “Like a diet of the mind, I choose not to indulge certain appetites. ”  Beautiful Mind.  John Nash  

    • #22
  23. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell
    @JimMcConnell

    Hartmann von Aue (View Comment):

    Thanks for this very engaging post, both visceral and thoughtful at the same time. One thing my experience has shown me is that people often forget that the God who is love also detests and loathes evil. Psalm 11:5 tells us in fact that (in my translation) “the wicked and those who love violence he hates with a passion”, while Paul admonishes us to “hate what is evil, cling to what is good” in Romans 12:9. Love of the beloved should engender hatred of that which does evil to the beloved- whether that is the beloved’s own sin, a physical disease or a human enemy. I see nothing wrong with that kind of hate and everything right with it.

    This hatred of the doctor whose incompetence led to you losing your mother, I know you are struggling with it, that it comes out when your guard is down, and that you, as you write, honestly find it comforting, but it is a false comfort, which fact your epilogue demonstrates that you already know. If you mother trusted in the the Lord, she is more alive now than she was when you knew her. That is not a platitude. It is reality. As you know if you read my posts here, my own parents died in 2015 and 17 respectively, so it is a grief I am familiar with, and hatred for an evil done to someone I love is also a turn of soul with which I am quite acquainted. I know what it will do to you over time so I urgently seek deep healing of your grief from the Holy Spirit.

    The comfort and love of the Lord be with you.

    IIRC, the word “hate,” as usually translated in the Bible, means “to turn away from; to shun.” That makes passages such as, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated” much more understandable.

    • #23
  24. Eridemus Coolidge
    Eridemus
    @Eridemus

    Funny how liberals are always accusing others of hate.

    • #24
  25. Susan in Seattle Member
    Susan in Seattle
    @SusaninSeattle

    For many reasons, thank you for this post.  

    • #25
  26. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat: Love feels good. But hate is addictive.

    I have no hate, in my mind or my heart.

    Rage, though?

    I got Rage for days.

    What is the difference?

    • #26
  27. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Henry Castaigne (View Comment):

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat: Love feels good. But hate is addictive.

    I have no hate, in my mind or my heart.

    Rage, though?

    I got Rage for days.

    What is the difference?

    Hate has agency, Rage is inchoate.

    Example:  Barrack Hussein Obama pulled us out of Iraq in 2010.  I don’t hate the guy.  I don’t hate anybody.  But I have a huge amount of rage that every US kid I saw die, some of whom bled out in my arms while I told them everything was going to be okay and they were going to be just fine, that they gave their last full measure was in vain.  I have no hate for BHO, but I have rage over the decisions he made.

    • #27
  28. Umbra Fractus, cum Insigne Inactive
    Umbra Fractus, cum Insigne
    @UmbraFractus

    Dr. Bastiat:

    But hate is wonderful. It’s beautiful, and pure, and powerful, and wonderful.

     

    There’s a reason why Lucifer is described as the most beautiful of all the angels.

    • #28
  29. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    I think it is holding doctors to an impossible standard to expect that any of them can get a diagnosis correct 100% of the time.  In the experience of myself and immediate family members, when we go to a doctor with a complaint at least a third of the time the doctors have no answer for what the cause is.  I don’t think it’s because they are all lazy or incompetent.  I think it’s just a very difficult job.

    • #29
  30. Chris Hutchinson Coolidge
    Chris Hutchinson
    @chrishutch13

    Hartmann von Aue (View Comment):
    I know what it will do to you over time so I urgently encourage you to seek deep healing of your grief from the Holy Spirit.

    Poignant but profound, Dr. Bastiat. Very human. The comparison between conservatives (love or content/grateful) and progressives (hate or not content/ungrateful) was interesting.

    The OP and this comment are relevant to some thoughts on forgiveness and my dad I’ve been having since last week. It came after hearing Jordan Peterson on his podcast say that forgiveness is highly overrated which disturbed me. I was very grateful for my Bible study group to help hash out some of those thoughts.

    • #30
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