Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. The Maven


Seated in the hearing room, amid a sense of impending doom,
Scanning curious notes from staff whose names I’d never seen before,
Colleagues nodded, nearly napping, I drew my gavel, started tapping
To startle them, I started rapping, rapping to command the floor.
“Back in order,” I muttered, rapping to demand the floor,
“Order please,” and nothing more.

Next to me, the opposition, a man of surly disposition
Waited for his chance to address the crowd and take the floor.
Smugly smiling I glanced toward him, turned my head and then ignored him,
Addressed the Maven seated, impossible to ignore,
“What say you Maven? Tell us what you said before.”
“I presumed,” and nothing more.

“Surely there were preconditions, more than just your suppositions,”
(We were closing in now; I could feel it in my very core.)
“Was there a call from your employer, a note perhaps, his private lawyer?
Surely there is something they must answer for?”
From the Maven of the diplomatic corps,
“I just assumed,” and nothing more.

“Please sir, do not try my patience. There is no room here for complacence.
“I’ll remind you here that you testified to us before.”
The Maven sat there, blinked and twitched; he seemed to me perhaps bewitched,
(A fact that I would like to underscore.)
“Do you mean to contradict the things you’ve said before?”
Quoth the Maven: “What I said before?”

“But the call…” I had him now; the call he could not disavow.
A call directly to the usurping, despicable man we all abhor,
The Maven stopped and took a drink, cradled his face, as if to think.
“I made the call. I felt a direct answer was called for.”
“What the #@*& do you want from Ukraine?” I swore.
“Trump said ‘Nothing’ twice and nothing more.”

And though the days of hearings ended, impeachment will still be recommended.
Our constituents demand this pound of flesh despite the gore.
And though it may be unrealistic, I find I must be optimistic
About the prospects of our retaining the House floor.
We must retain our majority as before.
As for the Maven, let’s ignore.

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  1. Judge Mental Member


    • #1
    • November 21, 2019, at 1:46 PM PST
  2. Fritz Member


    • #2
    • November 21, 2019, at 1:47 PM PST
  3. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Main Feed. 

    • #3
    • November 21, 2019, at 1:56 PM PST
  4. Stad Thatcher

    Five stars!

    (How much booze did it take?)

    • #4
    • November 21, 2019, at 2:01 PM PST
  5. Sweezle Member


    • #5
    • November 21, 2019, at 2:10 PM PST
  6. Saint Augustine Member

    Well done, well done, well done.

    I regret that bad news I must bear; there may be a typo there.

    Just one letter, nothing more:

    Doug Kimball:

    “Please sir, do not try my patience, there is no room her[e] for complacence,

    • #6
    • November 21, 2019, at 2:15 PM PST
  7. Cryptonym: ltpwfdcm Coolidge

    • #7
    • November 21, 2019, at 2:30 PM PST
  8. Gossamer Cat Coolidge


    • #8
    • November 21, 2019, at 3:39 PM PST
  9. Barfly Member

    Can I have a copy of the original so I don’t have to scrape it from the page? That messes with the formatting. 

    60/40 this causes an Instalanche.

    • #9
    • November 21, 2019, at 4:47 PM PST
  10. GLDIII Temporarily Essential Reagan
    GLDIII Temporarily Essential Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Edgar would be pleased.

    I just recited it out loud for my bride……. she said Bravo.

    • #10
    • November 21, 2019, at 5:45 PM PST
  11. Yehoshua Ben-Eliyahu Inactive

    E. A. Poe would be the appropriate literary figure for documentation of the Impeachment hearings, in which evil is on full display, and the prosecutor is as sinister a personality as you could find in any horror story. What is most painful to me is that Schiff, who must have been njb (a nice Jewish boy) at one time but, like Nadler and Schumer, got lost along the way, scorns a president who has been more pro-Israel than any other. Fittingly, Schiff did not marry a Jewish girl and Trump’s grandchildren attend a Talmud Torah school, so Trump’s descendants, not Schiff’s, will carry on the faith.

    • #11
    • November 21, 2019, at 10:00 PM PST
  12. Saint Augustine Member

    Not that I want to distract from this excellent work, so maybe wait till after Thanksgiving.

    But here’s Studio C’s reworking of “The Raven.”

    • #12
    • November 22, 2019, at 2:25 AM PST
  13. Titus Techera Contributor


    • #13
    • November 22, 2019, at 4:37 AM PST
  14. Boney Cole Member

    Said half the nation, “Nevermore!”

    • #14
    • November 22, 2019, at 7:13 AM PST