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Choosing Old
I’m 54 years old; next year I will start qualifying for senior discounts, not to mention some retirement benefits. On the other hand, I don’t look my age; I still have plenty of hair, most of which is dark brown, and the people I work with probably don’t realize I was hired when they were still in grade school. I’m comfortable with technology, I’ve seen the latest memes, and I know how to use emoji.
The point is, I could go either way. I’m no millennial, but I can pass for young-ish. On the other hand, I remember when Nixon resigned; I was there when Star Wars premiered, and I bought Synchronicity when it was at the top of the charts. I have one foot in the Baby Boomer generation, the other in Generation X, and I can talk the language of the millennials if I have to.
I still feel plenty young, and it’s a bit surprising to me when I do the math and realize that, wherever “the hill” is, I probably crested it some time ago. But the older I get, the more OK I am with that.
Lately I’ve been catching up on the Netflix series The Kominsky Method. The most remarkable thing about the show is that its two stars, Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin, are aged 75 and 85, respectively. Never mind the fact that much of the humor is about prostate problems, wayward adult children, and waning careers; what I enjoy most about the show is the simple fact that these guys are seasoned actors who know what they’re doing. There are any number of shows out there where I can see sexy twentysomethings trading trendy catchphrases, but there is something refreshing about seeing a couple of guys who are genuinely masters of their craft.
But I suppose it’s more than just that. Another favorite of mine is Clint Eastwood’s movie Gran Torino, in which he plays a crotchety old man who is quite resolutely out of step with the times he lives in. The only mainstream network shows I still watch are NCIS (in which Mark Harmon plays a throwback who barely knows how to use a cell phone) and Blue Bloods (in which Tom Selleck plays the conservative patriarch of an Irish Catholic family devoted to law and order). Meanwhile, I have never watched a single episode of This Is Us.
More and more, movies and TV shows like these feel comfortable to me. I suppose this happens with every generation: just as the younger generation decides they have little use for the old folks, the old folks decide they have little use for the young ones. At this point, I’d rather cast my lot with Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Frank Reagan, and Sandy Kominsky than with … well, whoever the latest millennial hero is, I don’t even know. I’d rather be seen as an experienced (if crotchety) professional with wisdom to share than as a promising newcomer: been there, done that, and frankly, being an experienced professional pays better.
Hip young people like to roll their eyes and ridicule old people who don’t “get it,” who aren’t hip and trendy. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that the old people are perfectly aware of this, and they don’t care; they roll their eyes just as much and ridicule the arrogant young people who think they have it all figured out. Let the youngsters think they have all the answers. We have one advantage they can never match: we used to be them, and we got over it.
I don’t really think I’m old yet. But I’m actually kinda looking forward to it.
Published in General
I can definitely relate to this; sometimes I remind myself that I appear older to the world than I do to myself.
I knew since I was a pre-teen that I was likely to go bald (all the men on my mother’s side of the family were bald), so as it started I quickly adopted the very short all over (#2 clipper) haircut. And I have long worn hats to prevent sunburn.
Embrace the baldness!
I do not think of senior discounts as charity. I see them as incentive to get seniors into the business. For many restaurants the seniors can be regular customers who can be enticed into coming in more often by offering a special price, and [retired] seniors often eat at times that are not otherwise busy, so the marginal business brought in by senior discounts can be profitable for the restaurant, or at least help sustain the fixed overhead.
I don’t generally order off the senior menu because the senior menu rarely includes my preferred meals. But, I am part of an old men’s breakfast group that meets weekly at a local restaurant. Most of us order the restaurant’s very attractively priced “senior special.” The restaurant may not make as much money on each meal, but the attractive pricing helps propel our repeat business, so the restaurant gets volume. We are there after the main morning rush, so we are not inhibiting the restaurant’s ability to sell more expensive meals during the morning rush. And we have the same server every week, and we tip her well.
I had a bit of a frisson when I turned 35 and realized I’d moved up in the demographic range on a lot of surveys (in which the first range is 18-34, and the second one is 35-54). Then, when I turned 40, my co-workers threw a party, decorated every window in the building announcing the fact to the world, and presented me with a mug listing the “five things you can’t do after 40.” The one that’s stuck with me is “Bend over without grunting.” Crimenutely. How true. It doesn’t improve with time, either.
Twenty-five years later, and I’ve finally hit the big 65. I’m fine with it, with how I feel (a bit creaky) and with the reflection that looks back at me from bathroom mirror. I mean my own bathroom mirror. Not the one in hotels, where they always have me sharing a room with some gray-haired old hag with hairs sprouting from her chin. I wish they’d stop that and just put her somewhere else. Why is she stalking me, anyway?
My granddaughter’s eleven. A couple of weeks ago, her mother called me laughing, and said, “We’ve had a really bad day. So bad that at one point [granddaughter] looked at me and said, ‘I wish we could just chill out and watch Bringing Up Baby together. That always makes everything better.'”
She’s choosing old.
There’s hope.
Smart kid. I’m not much for screwball comedies, but I like the kitty.
I turned 55 this year. I don’t feel all that wise. Though I suppose I’ve made some okay decisions after learning from a lot of not-so-okay decisions.
That is how wisdom is gained.
Gosh I so wish this didn’t sound like residents of my household: