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The Johnnie Cochran School of Impeachment
My friends, while conducting a séance at the witching hour, a spirit from beyond the grave contacted me, and here is what he had to say about President Donald Trump:
If he’s on the beach, you must impeach.
If he’s within reach, you must impeach.
If he’s able to teach, you must impeach.
If he tries to preach, you must impeach.
If he hangs with Cheech, you must impeach.
What’s your best Johnnie Cochran impeachment line?
No need to prove, just simply remove.
That is a very good one, sir. My hat’s off to you.
Twitter to interdict, you must convict.
All day on the Twitter, we will make him a quitter.
True, but they are not willing to admit that, and I don’t think they are as clever as Cochran.
If (
Putin,Comey,Stormy,Insanity,Mueller,Obstruction, . . . Ukraine?, charges to be named at a later date), you must impeach.Instead of screeching, try impeaching.
If he’s a lout, kick him out.
For Jonah, if he is loathsome, off to Folsom.
If his hair looks like a toupee, send him packing on his way…
If the skin is orange, send him to Blorenge.
If he annoys Adam Schiff, we must drop him off a cliff.
But remember:
If you think it’s bull[CoC], you must acquit.
Very good, but “leach” should have been in there somehow.
“If he’s been with a porn star, you must immediately disbar!”
“If his wife’s a babe, listen to McCabe!”
“If he’s a jerk, impeachers go berserk!”
Or maybe “leech” would be better.
If he hurts the leeches, the House impeaches.
If he makes us screech, we must impeach.
If his coffee’s been leached, he must be impeached.
Not coming up with too much.
If you think that the fact that he won sucked you must convene the House and charge him with misconduct.
Johnnie Cochran is too cerebral for the Dems.
You must impeach him if you can. You must impeach him Sam-I-Am.
Yes! Oh, wait, you meant drop the other guy …
Cochran is lame. I’m going with Stacy Keach from Nice Dreams.
“If he didn’t hire a golden shower, then we’ll just fake abuse of power!”
“If we really want to make him suffer, jail his friends and gag the others!”
You’re probably correct.
How about a haiku?
Impeach the bad man
The ends justify the means
Evidence be damned.
If Trump makes The Swamp leaner; Schiff says “that’s a misdemeanor.”
If Trump harrumphs, Schiff says “treason”; all Dems agree, ’cause it’s the silly season.
If Trump is against abortion; Dems say “That’s extortion.”
If Article ll doesn’t apply and scholars say so; Dems don’t care, they make it up as they go.
Kind of lame, but I didn’t get my nap.
;
I know the feeling. I received a phone call in the middle of mine.
Johnnie Cochran won.
With a sandboot jury, not with the United States Senate.
Johnnie Cochran won because O.J. drew a jury that couldn’t spell “DNA.”
I wouldn’t say he “drew” such a jury. His lawyers managed to get such a jury empaneled.
“Draw” as in poker.
In poker, you don’t get to keep drawing until you get a twelve-of-a-kind flush.
Too good. RT.
No, he means Judge Ito let the defense team draw it with a crayon.
Impeach, for Hunter has been wronged; quick, before his dad gets schlonged!