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I know. It’s news to friends and family. No one was more surprised than I.
She’s very neat and so discreet. She seems to eat like a bird and likes everything I cook. There was not even any sorting out of who sleeps on which side of the bed, or whose clothes and toiletries go where. She is financially independent and undemanding. Indeed, my bank, utilities and even the vaunted tech giants haven’t even noticed her moving in with me.
There is one group, though, that picked up on her presence. The GOP fundraising industry has been assiduously courting this reliable donor. Did I mention she was financially independent? Well, everyone from Martha McSally to Dan Crenshaw, from the NRCC to the latest faux Trump-supporting group, is filling my (our?) mailbox with urgent petitions. The mailers come in every size, shape, and color, yet they are really all the same, so they must really think this approach works with her.
I’ve tried talking to her about the wisdom of feeding the GOP beast. It just encourages them. But she never engages, never even answers. Well, she’s entitled to spend her own money as she chooses, and she’s otherwise entirely unobtrusive in my life.
Truth be told, if it were not for the sheer volume of correspondence from a professional political operation, that I’ve been assured is totally on top of its game with voters, I’d start seriously doubting that she is real.
But the experts, those geniuses who brought us Speaker Pelosi, President McCain, and President Romney, assure me almost every day that I have a wife, as they fill my mailbox with their urgent appeals to…
For the humor-impaired, this is satire. The only truth of it is the relentless deluge of mail for “Gail Brown.” Who I assure you has never existed at my current, or any past address. But tell me again about the awesome power and deep expertise of the GOP electoral politics machine.