Career Advice: Go West, Young Man

 

California appears to be destined to be a “blue state” for the foreseeable future and if current policy trends continue, a forward-looking youngster in the Golden State should be aware of burgeoning future career opportunities–and it’s not just green jobs! Here are just a few:

Public Health Tech: As typhus, measles, smallpox, leprosy, TB and plague rapidly re-emerge, there will be new career opportunities for a young person with ambition and a top-notch immune system. As a public health tech in the new California, you will go house to house and call out “Bring Out Your Dead” in both English and Spanish. You will be a key member of the community by providing rapid, safe, climate-friendly disposal of human remains.

Community Organizer / Sheriff’s Assistant: As a front line community support and law enforcement figure, you will learn how to detect and arrest rogue Christians, conservatives, Orthodox Jews and other white supremacist movements plotting against LGBT and minority mental safety. Secret meetings to disseminate hate such as religious services or readings of dead white male document collections can only poison society. An effective network of observant and informed citizens is the best defense against a resurgence of such hate. And it takes the right kind of person to build and monitor those networks.

In addition, orderly, friendly lines for distributing food and supplies to approved persons will become central to communal living and those who can quickly suppress anti-California behavior in those lines will be essential.

Energy Production: As one example of new industries opening new opportunities, managing the stationary bicycle centers to generate needed electricity requires leadership skills to motivate the diverse assemblage of convicts, debtors and green-spirited volunteers whose pedal power will keep the lights on for that precious two hours each day.

Public Accountant: There would be no point in reaching income equality if economic exchanges were permitted that would inevitably create “winners and losers” and recreate the conditions of inequality. As a Public Accountant, you will have access to all records, all property, and all communications to ensure that unlawful exchanges and transactional excesses do not take place and to instantly correct those conditions if and when they do.

The future belongs to you!

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There are 5 comments.

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  1. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    I fear, in some form, some of these will actually be created. It’s only a matter of time. I see the Public Health Tech as  a high probability, and soon. Good grief.

    • #1
  2. James Gawron Inactive
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    OldB,

    I think things have changed since this song was popular.

    Now this song seems more appropriate.

    I want to go home. Wherever that is it’s got to be better than California.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #2
  3. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Sadly, this post is not satire . . .

    • #3
  4. aardo vozz Member
    aardo vozz
    @aardovozz

    Stad (View Comment):

    Sadly, this post is not satire . . .

    Yes, but it is not cynical enough!

    • #4
  5. Stina Inactive
    Stina
    @CM

    Old Bathos: As one example of new industries opening new opportunities, managing the stationary bicycle centers to generate needed electricity requires leadership skills to motivate the diverse assemblage of convicts, debtors and green-spirited volunteers whose pedal power will keep the lights on for that precious two hours each day.

    Oh those peloton commercials have a whole new meaning for me. <3

    • #5
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