Your Government Inaction: TSA and Beer

 

I just returned from visiting family and friends in New Mexico. On these trips, I always have an extra suitcase so I can bring back brews not available in The Great State of Texas.™ In order to not lose any of the precious liquid, I wrap the individual beer cans in newspaper, put them in quart Zip-Lock® bags, then put three or four at a time in gallon freezer bags.

I’ve been doing this for several years without incident or spillage. In March, the Southwest Airlines® desk agent asked why my case was so heavy. When I showed him, he bawled me out for not putting enough padding around the cans. He made me wrap my clothing around the gallon bags and slapped a “FRAGILE: HANDLE WITH CARE” sticker on the side of my suitcase.

So this time, I put the double-bagged cans in padded carriers. When I arrived home and opened the suitcase, everything fell out in a heap. All of the cans of beer had been removed from the closed carriers and sealed bags, then returned higgity-piggity. None of the plastic bags had been resealed, and the zippered partition between the halves of the suitcase had not been closed. There was a slip of paper in the case stating, “You’ve been inspected, have no fear.” Apparently, TSAIGA is not concerned about beer spilling all over the interior of the airplane cargo hold.

This begs the question: Are these the kind of people you want managing your healthcare?

There are 42 comments.

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  1. Richard Finlay Inactive
    Richard Finlay
    @RichardFinlay

    “Fragile” stickers probably raise the probability of TSA “inspection.”

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    JosePluma: Are these the kind of people you want managing your health care?

    That is begging the question. Obviously not.

    • #2
  3. Tex929rr Coolidge
    Tex929rr
    @Tex929rr

    When pilots could first be armed (around 2002 or 2003) my wife could fly with her TSA issued handgun but not a corkscrew.

    I once had a TSA inspector and his supervisor spend 15 minutes inspecting a multi tool before deciding it was OK to have on board.  No knife blade:

    • #3
  4. Vectorman Inactive
    Vectorman
    @Vectorman

    I took wine from Napa CA back on Southwest in a box from the winery. It had Styrofoam inserts that protected the $30 – $50 bottles very well, and was not opened by the TSA. You may wish to find something similar for beer cans. 

    • #4
  5. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Did you know that “Your government inaction” is similar to “Your government in action?”

    • #5
  6. Richard Finlay Inactive
    Richard Finlay
    @RichardFinlay

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Did you know that “Your government inaction” is similar to “Your government in action?”

    Government inaction, if it existed,  would be clearly superior to government in action.

    • #6
  7. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    JosePluma: Are these the kind of people you want managing your health care?

    Don’t forget, George W. Bush proposed that these people be independent of the government unions (i.e. non-unionized) but the left threw a hissy fit until he agreed to let them be like the rest of the government workforce.  So if the left says, “But this is different,” the answer is, “No, you insisted that it be the same.”   

     

    • #7
  8. Aaron Miller Member
    Aaron Miller
    @AaronMiller

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    I once had a TSA inspector and his supervisor spend 15 minutes inspecting a multi tool before deciding it was OK to have on board. No knife blade:

    Heck, I remove the Swiss Army Knife from my pocket anytime I drop someone off at the airport. There’s no telling what might happen when entering the domain of all-powerful scan-happy friskers.

    • #8
  9. Blondie Thatcher
    Blondie
    @Blondie

    Can we just get rid of these idiots, already? Uuggghhh! 

    • #9
  10. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    JosePluma: This begs the question: Are these the kind of people you want managing your health care?

    Arahant (View Comment):
    That is begging the question. Obviously not.

    Both untrue.

    • #10
  11. Doctor Robert Member
    Doctor Robert
    @DoctorRobert

    In 2014 my sons and I visited Belgium.  On our return we had 4 cases of highly coveted beers from the Westvletern monastery in Flanders and a dozen other rare brews in our luggage,very carefully packed.  One bag, one case.  We traveled home on three separate flights.

    In changing planes at JFK to go to Boston, Ben had to recheck his bags after customs, so he knows his bag was intact as it got onto Delta for the flight to Logan.  There was a three hour layover.

    Ben’s bag arrived “late” and was dropped off empty 6 hours after arrival in Boston.  It was empty.

    I’ve also had those mother-effers steal Cuban cigars from my luggage, a bottle of champagne (not particularly costly, but a maker not sold in the US) and a camera.

    Don’t tell me these are honest Gummint employees.

    • #11
  12. Vance Richards Member
    Vance Richards
    @VanceRichards

    JosePluma: This begs the question: Are these the kind of people you want managing your healthcare?

    Healthcare? Focus man, we’re talking about beer. Don’t get distracted by lesser issues.

    • #12
  13. Richard Finlay Inactive
    Richard Finlay
    @RichardFinlay

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    In 2014 my sons and I visited Belgium. On our return we had 4 cases of highly coveted beers from the Westvletern monastery in Flanders and a dozen other rare brews in our luggage,very carefully packed. One bag, one case. We traveled home on three separate flights.

    In changing planes at JFK to go to Boston, Ben had to recheck his bags after customs, so he knows his bag was intact as it got onto Delta for the flight to Logan. There was a three hour layover.

    Ben’s bag arrived “late” and was dropped off empty 6 hours after arrival in Boston. It was empty.

    I’ve also had those mother-effers steal Cuban cigars from my luggage, a bottle of champagne (not particularly costly, but a maker not sold in the US) and a camera.

    Don’t tell me these are honest Gummint employees.

    You don’t appreciate the real purpose of carry-on luggage.

    • #13
  14. kelsurprise, drama queen Member
    kelsurprise, drama queen
    @kelsurprise

    When my sister and I visited France many years ago, she got addicted to some local coffee our hosts had and was charmed by the quaint little tin that it came in, so she bought several of them to take back home. 

    Concerned about the tins’ getting crushed, however, she decided to pour all the coffee into plastic bags, which she packed in her checked duffel bag, then she took the empty tins home in her carry-on.

    Upon arrival, the duffel bag never appeared.  We filed a report and a couple days later, it was delivered to my apartment with the contents clearly disturbed and a “we searched your bag” notice inside.

    And that’s when it hit me:  “Congratulations,” I told my sister, “on totally punking the TSA!”

    “??”

    “I don’t think your bag was just searched,” I told her.  “I think your bag has spent two days being mauled by every drug-sniffing dog in the tri-state area, because the TSA thought you just had to be hiding something under all that coffee!”

    • #14
  15. JosePluma Thatcher
    JosePluma
    @JosePluma

    Vectorman (View Comment):

    I took wine from Napa CA back on Southwest in a box from the winery. It had Styrofoam inserts that protected the $30 – $50 bottles very well, and was not opened by the TSA. You may wish to find something similar for beer cans.

    I actually had a couple of those because I’d brought some Texas wine to give to friends.  Unfortunately they only fit one can each.  These were also opened, the plastic bags were not resealed, and the twine I’d used to hold the tops and bottoms together had been retied.  With granny knots.

    • #15
  16. Hank Rhody-Badenphipps Esq Contributor
    Hank Rhody-Badenphipps Esq
    @HankRhody

    Richard Finlay (View Comment):

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    In 2014 my sons and I visited Belgium. On our return we had 4 cases of highly coveted beers from the Westvletern monastery in Flanders and a dozen other rare brews in our luggage,very carefully packed. One bag, one case. We traveled home on three separate flights.

    In changing planes at JFK to go to Boston, Ben had to recheck his bags after customs, so he knows his bag was intact as it got onto Delta for the flight to Logan. There was a three hour layover.

    Ben’s bag arrived “late” and was dropped off empty 6 hours after arrival in Boston. It was empty.

    I’ve also had those mother-effers steal Cuban cigars from my luggage, a bottle of champagne (not particularly costly, but a maker not sold in the US) and a camera.

    Don’t tell me these are honest Gummint employees.

    You don’t appreciate the real purpose of carry-on luggage.

    …That’s four 0z or less.

    • #16
  17. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    When pilots could first be armed (around 2002 or 2003) my wife could fly with her TSA issued handgun but not a corkscrew.

    I once had a TSA inspector and his supervisor spend 15 minutes inspecting a multi tool before deciding it was OK to have on board. No knife blade:

    I’ve had my roll of duct tape confiscated.  9 out of 10 times not a problem.  Then the 10th someone decides to exert their authoritah…..

    • #17
  18. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    I expect nothing better from the perverts in the TSA.

    • #18
  19. Clifford A. Brown Contributor
    Clifford A. Brown
    @CliffordBrown

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    JosePluma: Are these the kind of people you want managing your health care?

    Don’t forget, George W. Bush proposed that these people be independent of the government unions (i.e. non-unionized) but the left threw a hissy fit until he agreed to let them be like the rest of the government workforce. So if the left says, “But this is different,” the answer is, “No, you insisted that it be the same.”

     

    Another instance of Bushy principled governance.

    • #19
  20. Clifford A. Brown Contributor
    Clifford A. Brown
    @CliffordBrown

    I never worried about cans, but got into the habit of sliding beer bottles into boot socks, then double-bagging them in 1-gallon zip-lock bags.

    • #20
  21. OkieSailor Member
    OkieSailor
    @OkieSailor

    Not sure about the cost but might UPS be a better way to get things safely delivered to oneself? As a way to avoid the overbearing idiots charged with keeping us safe in the air?

    • #21
  22. Hank Rhody-Badenphipps Esq Contributor
    Hank Rhody-Badenphipps Esq
    @HankRhody

    OkieSailor (View Comment):

    Not sure about the cost but might UPS be a better way to get things safely delivered to oneself? As a way to avoid the overbearing idiots charged with keeping us safe in the air?

    UPS has rules against shipping plutonium.

    I mean beer. They probably have rules against shipping beer.

    • #22
  23. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    Hank Rhody-Badenphipps Esq (View Comment):

    OkieSailor (View Comment):

    Not sure about the cost but might UPS be a better way to get things safely delivered to oneself? As a way to avoid the overbearing idiots charged with keeping us safe in the air?

    UPS has rules against shipping plutonium.

    I mean beer. They probably have rules against shipping beer.

    Really, it’s hard to imagine any beer is worth that effort.  There are so many beers that are good and available in every state that it hardly seems necessary to go to such effort.  

    • #23
  24. Doctor Robert Member
    Doctor Robert
    @DoctorRobert

    Richard Finlay (View Comment):

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    In 2014 my sons and I visited Belgium. On our return we had 4 cases of highly coveted beers from the Westvletern monastery in Flanders and a dozen other rare brews in our luggage,very carefully packed. One bag, one case. We traveled home on three separate flights.

    In changing planes at JFK to go to Boston, Ben had to recheck his bags after customs, so he knows his bag was intact as it got onto Delta for the flight to Logan. There was a three hour layover.

    Ben’s bag arrived “late” and was dropped off empty 6 hours after arrival in Boston. It was empty.

    I’ve also had those mother-effers steal Cuban cigars from my luggage, a bottle of champagne (not particularly costly, but a maker not sold in the US) and a camera.

    Don’t tell me these are honest Gummint employees.

    You don’t appreciate the real purpose of carry-on luggage.

    Oh, I do.  Try to get 6 liters of beer past the carry-on baggage polizi.

    • #24
  25. Doctor Robert Member
    Doctor Robert
    @DoctorRobert

    Skyler (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody-Badenphipps Esq (View Comment):

    OkieSailor (View Comment):

    Not sure about the cost but might UPS be a better way to get things safely delivered to oneself? As a way to avoid the overbearing idiots charged with keeping us safe in the air?

    UPS has rules against shipping plutonium.

    I mean beer. They probably have rules against shipping beer.

    Really, it’s hard to imagine any beer is worth that effort. There are so many beers that are good and available in every state that it hardly seems necessary to go to such effort.

    True, and you can get a commercial Belgian beer (St Bernardus) brewed with the same water, same hops, same recipe as the Westvleteren.  But there is status in having it known in the local beer community that you have a case of Westies in the basement.   

    One time a local politician and beer aficionado came to my door with a crock of home made chili asking if he could trade it for a Westie.  I declined, but we ate the chili anyway over a Chimay.  He later did me a deep favor and earned his Westie.

    I went back to Belgium on business 7 months after the Delta incident and took pains to pack my next two cases of beers very carefully.  Forty-seven of 48 of the beers came back safely.

    One had a little ding in the cap so Karen and I had a beer float.

     

    Boy was that good.

    • #25
  26. Slow on the uptake Thatcher
    Slow on the uptake
    @Chuckles

    How many cans were missing?

    • #26
  27. The Great Adventure! Inactive
    The Great Adventure!
    @TheGreatAdventure

    This is why one of my colleagues and fellow Road Warriors likes to play a game called “Trolling The TSA”.  Here’s a pic of his computer bag that he sends through the security scanners at the airport.  I believe there are about 50 carabiners and metal key chains attached to it.  

    He figures an extra 15 minutes at security every time.

     

    • #27
  28. Podkayne of Israel Member
    Podkayne of Israel
    @PodkayneofIsrael

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    When pilots could first be armed (around 2002 or 2003) my wife could fly with her TSA issued handgun but not a corkscrew.

    I once had a TSA inspector and his supervisor spend 15 minutes inspecting a multi tool before deciding it was OK to have on board. No knife blade:

    Well, now my husband needs one of these too.

    • #28
  29. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    Podkayne of Israel (View Comment):

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    When pilots could first be armed (around 2002 or 2003) my wife could fly with her TSA issued handgun but not a corkscrew.

    I once had a TSA inspector and his supervisor spend 15 minutes inspecting a multi tool before deciding it was OK to have on board. No knife blade:

    Well, now my husband needs one of these too.

    The less interaction I have with TSA perverts, the better.  That looks like a way to get more interaction with them.  I don’t like being polite to them.  In fact, my policy is to not utter a single word if possible.

    • #29
  30. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Mark Camp (View Comment):

    JosePluma: This begs the question: Are these the kind of people you want managing your health care?

    Arahant (View Comment):
    That is begging the question. Obviously not.

    Both untrue.

    Read mine again for the other interpretation.

    • #30

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