There are 35 comments.

1. Thatcher
   Percival

   @Percival

   

   2:12 PM EDT ⋅ Aug 19, 2019

   milkchaser (View Comment):

   I met my freshman daughter’s suitemate yesterday. She asked me my name and I replied, “Bob”. She followed up with “How do you want me to address you?” I thought that was an excellent, thoughtful question. I was nowhere near that thoughtful at age 18.

   I assumed she meant should she call me Mr. Bob of Mr. White. I told her to just call me Bob. She’s an adult now and not my child.

   But my daughter assumed that she was asking me for my pronouns. Yikes!

   Look them straight in the eye and say “You are planning to refer to me in the third person while I am present? How rude!”

2. Coolidge
   Slow on the uptake

   @Chuckles

   2:18 PM EDT ⋅ Aug 19, 2019

   The Reticulator (View Comment):
   Your daughter’s suitemate is there to get educated

   That’s one assumption.

3. Coolidge
   Ray Kujawa

   @RayKujawa

   4:17 PM EDT ⋅ Aug 19, 2019

   I’m thinking of referring to individuals choosing to self-identify as the opposite of their naturally born gender as “he/she.” It seems to perfectly communications transitivity of their state. What could be wrong with that? But I wonder whether the order is significant? It seems a lot easier to say and be understood when you say “he/she;” “she/he” could easily be heard as an elongated ‘she-ee,’ which would create unwanted ambiguity of whether the other person was respected properly.

   Perhaps the best is to use the person’s proper name when referring to a person in the third person. All this attention given to pronouns seems extremely petty and boorish. Too much of it makes the persons seem more like objects rather than persons. Probably best thing is to avoid the subject.

   Whatever happened to those experts on etiquette we used to have in the 60’s and 70’s? Are there no experts these days who are not self-appointed? Self-appointed experts are the worst.

4. Member
   Stina

   @CM

   6:27 PM EDT ⋅ Aug 19, 2019

   Susan Quinn (View Comment):

   I haven’t been asked specifically by anyone to change my use of language. If someone gave me that direction, I’d just say, “whatever” and walk away. I wouldn’t even bother to get angry.

   I was once redirected to “undocumented” immigrant instead of “illegal” immigrant…

5. Coolidge
   TBA

   @RobtGilsdorf

   11:17 PM EDT ⋅ Aug 21, 2019

   Eridemus (View Comment):

   Notice they NEVER have an alternative for “American.” That’s what I understand the British called us in the Revolution, at a time nobody else was using it.

   Now, I do say “U.S.” instead of “America” for the nation. I don’t know many contexts that continents are referred to, and substituting “North American” still could be confusing, with Canada and Mexico included – so the touchy people who advocate that aren’t getting anywhere. Most people would add the directional N / S if they really needed a continent in reference. But U.S. gets around the boundaries part.

   Still waiting on the people part. We can’t very well say “United State-sian,” therefore lack the advantage many have in the new world where their national name morphs more easily. Should we go for all the 50 separate Georgians, Floridians, Californians, North Carolinians, Oregonians, Hawaiians etc? Oops, too much requiring foreigners to learn where all those belong. And that still leave Maine, Illinois and others to create something for.

   All the solutions still seem to require handsprings to avoid ‘erasing other cultures.’

   We are known as ‘Americans’ across the world. It can cause confusion, but it rarely does.