Quote of the Day: Young Wisdom

 

“When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.” — Taylia, age 11

A collection of “childhood wisdom” graced my Facebook feed this week; this was one of the standouts, though there were several in the same vein: common-sense lessons learned early in life through personal experience. Some were in the “Things I’ll-never-try-again” category (“Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time.” — Kyoyo, age 9), and others check the “fool-me-once” box (“Don’t pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.” — Emily, age 10). There’s even a Joe-Biden-in-training in the mix (“Never squat with your spurs on.” — Neil Kinnock, 1987).

The list is generally funny because the advice is both spot-on, and blindingly obvious in hindsight (“Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.” — Joel, 10). But when you’re young and learning by your own experience, this newfound wisdom may surprise you.

I asked my sister, who says she learned a lot from her kids when they were growing up, if she had any 20/20-hindsight wisdom. She said: “never assume it’s chocolate.” I’m afraid to ask for clarification.

How about you? What hard-won wisdom did you gain, either as a child or later in life? Anything you think could have made “kids say the darnedest things”? Anything your own kids or grand-kids have announced to the family with the voice of Moses on the Mount?

And remember: “Never trust a dog to watch your food.” –Patrick, age 10.

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There are 17 comments.

  1. Arahant Member

    Jim Wright: And remember: “Never trust a dog to watch your food.” –Patrick, age 10

    Cats, either.

    • #1
    • August 15, 2019, at 9:48 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  2. Jim Wright Coolidge
    Jim Wright Post author

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Jim Wright: And remember: “Never trust a dog to watch your food.” –Patrick, age 10

    Cats, either.

    I don’t trust cats. Full stop.

    • #2
    • August 15, 2019, at 9:59 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  3. Arahant Member

    Jim Wright (View Comment):
    I don’t trust cats. Full stop.

    They can be sweet, loving murder machines.

    • #3
    • August 15, 2019, at 10:05 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  4. Jim Wright Coolidge
    Jim Wright Post author

    I have liked the occasional cat. Some were adorable as kittens. But trust? Not since my third box of Band-Aids.

    • #4
    • August 15, 2019, at 10:07 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  5. RightAngles Member

    When you’re on your third margarita, stay away from the phone. Never mind how I know this.

    • #5
    • August 15, 2019, at 10:08 PM PDT
    • 21 likes
  6. Arahant Member

    Jim Wright (View Comment):

    I have liked the occasional cat. Some were adorable as kittens. But trust? Not since my third box of Band-Aids.

    • #6
    • August 15, 2019, at 10:19 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  7. Jim Wright Coolidge
    Jim Wright Post author

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    When you’re on your third margarita, stay away from the phone. Never mind how I know this.

    *Filing Freedom of Information Act request…*

    • #7
    • August 15, 2019, at 10:38 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
  8. Percival Thatcher

    Today is the last day of your life, so far.

    • #8
    • August 15, 2019, at 11:24 PM PDT
    • 11 likes
  9. Stina Member

    There’s a lot I learned while potty training my kids…

    And that the potty training doesn’t end when they consistently use the toilet on their own.

    Toilet etiquette was a surprising discovery as an adult. Just things you take for granted are not necessarily obvious to a young kid.

    • #9
    • August 16, 2019, at 4:38 AM PDT
    • 6 likes
  10. Vectorman Thatcher

    After learning “Mama” and “Dada,” the third word a toddler learns to say is “No!”


    The Quote of the Day series is the easiest way to start a fun conversation on Ricochet. There are many dates open on the August Signup Sheet. We even include tips for finding great quotes, so choose your favorite quote and sign up today!

    • #10
    • August 16, 2019, at 4:39 AM PDT
    • 6 likes
  11. WillowSpring Member

    Jim Wright: Anything you think could have made “kids say the darnedest things”?

    When Art Linkletter did this back in the day, his go to question for kids was : “What did your mother tell you not to talk about?” Worked every time.

     

    • #11
    • August 16, 2019, at 7:15 AM PDT
    • 12 likes
  12. Bethany Mandel Editor

    Oh god that chocolate thing really speaks to me

    • #12
    • August 16, 2019, at 8:52 AM PDT
    • 6 likes
  13. Mark Camp Member

    Stina (View Comment):
    Toilet etiquette was a surprising discovery as an adult. Just things you take for granted are not necessarily obvious to a young kid.

    or persons using the New Jersey Turnpike.

    • #13
    • August 16, 2019, at 3:09 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  14. Jim Wright Coolidge
    Jim Wright Post author

    WillowSpring (View Comment):

    Jim Wright: Anything you think could have made “kids say the darnedest things”?

    When Art Linkletter did this back in the day, his go to question for kids was : “What did your mother tell you not to talk about?” Worked every time.

    My mother just told me she was on that show as a kid. (At least, she auditioned. I’ll have to search the archives to see if she made the cut.)

    “Q: If you got to pick your parents, who would they be?”

    “A: Mario Lanza and Marilyn Monroe.”

    • #14
    • August 16, 2019, at 6:36 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  15. WillowSpring Member

    I got in trouble once in a Cub Scout meeting when my mother was the acting “Den Mother” we were playing some sort of word game where the goal was to use words from an advertisement to describe a person. My person was Gina Lollobrigida and my ad (taken from Lucky Strike cigarettes) was “round and firm and fully packed”.

    Mother was not amused.

     

    • #15
    • August 17, 2019, at 11:35 AM PDT
    • 8 likes
  16. RightAngles Member

    My niece at age 4, saying grace:

    “God is great, God is good.
    Let us think about our food.

    Amen.”

    • #16
    • August 17, 2019, at 12:11 PM PDT
    • 10 likes
  17. Doctor Robert Member

    WillowSpring (View Comment):

    I got in trouble once in a Cub Scout meeting when my mother was the acting “Den Mother” we were playing some sort of word game where the goal was to use words from an advertisement to describe a person. My person was Gina Lollobrigida and my ad (taken from Lucky Strike cigarettes) was “round and firm and fully packed”.

    Mother was not amused.

    Also an Eddy Arnold song.

    “So round so firm so fully packed that’s my gal
    So complete from front to back that’s my pal
    Toasted by the sun and I’m a son of a gun
    If She don’t make my five o’clock shadow come around at one
    You can bet your boots I’d walk a mile through the snow
    Just to see her tooth paste (face) smile they mentioned on the radio
    If you don’t think she’s lot of fun just ask the man who owns one
    So round so firm so fully packed that’s my gal”

    • #17
    • August 17, 2019, at 9:21 PM PDT
    • Like