Marketing Meeting

 

Great job, Colin! Bye! (Hangs up)

Uh, boss. . .

Yes, Jack?

I don’t understand this at all. Are we really trying to make people hate our brand?

Like I explained last year, it’s the Chick-Fil-A effect. If we can get the right-wing nut cases to call for a boycott, it will increase sales from the left-wing dupes. Most conservatives are not buying from us anyway after last year, so the boycott will have zero effect. And, as a bonus, our brand has been in the news for a solid week.

OK, but what about the cost of all the product we had to pull and destroy?

Destroy? Where’d you get that idea? I just made $1,500 on eBay from one pair of those stupid shoes. If you want in on the action, go to the warehouse, we’re selling them to employees at cost. We’ll ship the rest to Haiti and Africa, then take a tax write-off for the donation.

Haiti? Africa? But . .

Oh, come off it, Jack, no one believes that BS.

Okay, but what about the Arizona deal?

Win some, lose some. It’s not like we were selling a lot of shoes to those meth-heads anyway. I have a feeling that a certain large city whose name rhymes with Blue Dork will be offering us some great incentives. They’ve got two delusional morons running for president who will be glad to tout “job creation,” especially after that Amazon debacle.

So it was actually a good thing that he put out that tweet.

Jack, Jack, Jack. You heard him in that meeting last month. He can barely put two words together. His catchphrase is “Uhh. . .what?” It’s in his contract, if he tweets a single letter himself the deal is terminated and he owes us everything we’ve paid him.

Wow, I’m learning so much from you.

Wait ’til you see what we’re doing next. Take a look at this list.

“Baseball and cricket bats, hockey and lacrosse sticks, helmets, face masks, chest protectors and shin guards.”

Yep, sporting equipment. Look at page two.

“Hatchets, folding saws, knives, bug spray, lighter fluid, quick lime?”

Camping supplies. What do you think?

Well, haven’t companies like Spaulding, Wilson, Coleman, and R.E.I. got that market locked down pretty tight?

Let me give you a hint: We’re opening our first store in Portland, Oregon.

Published in Humor
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There are 8 comments.

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  1. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    JosePluma: His catchphrase is “Uhh. . .what?”

    Money line.

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    JosePluma: quick lime?

    Love it.

    • #2
  3. She Member
    She
    @She

    • #3
  4. DonG Coolidge
    DonG
    @DonG

    The Conservatarians have a great breakdown.  It seems the SPLC has no record of Betsy being used as a hate symbol.  That means the official story is a lie. That means there are only two other options:
    1) Nike created a false controversy to sell other high-priced shoes to people that want to stick it to the man.
    2) Colin K and his lawyers are extorting Nike.  Michael Avenatti attempted this earlier this year.

    Either way, the Swoosh is a symbol of child slavery (historically) and use of racial division to sell shoes. 

    • #4
  5. JoelB Member
    JoelB
    @JoelB

    Most of the old geezers wear New Balance anyway.

    • #5
  6. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    JoelB (View Comment):

    Most of the old geezers wear New Balance anyway.

    *Checks sneaker brand*

    Who you calling an old geezer, you whippersnapper?

    • #6
  7. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Arahant (View Comment):

    JoelB (View Comment):

    Most of the old geezers wear New Balance anyway.

    *Checks sneaker brand*

    Who you calling an old geezer, you whippersnapper?

    I’m an old geezer, and I’ve never heard of them. I’ve heard of Nike, of course.  But I wear only leather shoes, and haven’t changed brand or style since about 2000.  I get a new pair every year, and rotate the older ones down to yard work and such. Well, except for my bicycle shoes, which are Pearl Izumis.  I haven’t worn sneaker-type shoes outside a gym since maybe 8th grade.  

     

    • #7
  8. aardo vozz Member
    aardo vozz
    @aardovozz

    According to a recent Breitbart article, one pair of the “Betsy Ross Flag” Nike shoes received a $15,200 bid on EBay. Sorry that I don’t know how to link…

    • #8
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