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Which reminds me:
How many Austrians does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. But in the grand days of the Empire, thousands of servants would rush to change millions of lightbulbs at our slightest whim.
And there’re these:
Why did the new Polish navy build so many glass-bottom boats? So they could see the old Polish navy.
How can you tell a Russian sailor served in the North Fleet? He glows in the dark.
Well, the best Challenger joke I ever read was not really a joke but math. Our teacher for Organic Chem senior year of high school (1987) gave us the volume of LOX and LH in the Challenger’s tanks and had us calculate the energy released by the reaction at the real atmospheric conditions at their altitude (some function of STP, of course). I got it right and so did two of my friends but I cannot remember the givens or the result.
Did you know that the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?
If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three; one to change it and two to tell her how much better she did it than a man would have.
How many feminists does it take?
That’s not funny!
How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. “Don’t worry about me, my child. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sit here … Alone … In the dark.”
Explains a lot. Wonder why my mother never told me she was Jewish?
Same goes for my mother-in-law.
The answer is, of course, a good son (-in-law) would have asked.
What did Nicole Brown Simpson scream when she was being stabbed by O.J Simpson.
“It Hertz!! It Hertz!!”
What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?
Reservations.
A waiter goes up to a table full of Jewish women. “Is anything alright?”
I might be plagiarizing from Ricochet. If so, I apologize.
I hated this one early and often:
What’s the URL for OJ’s new blog?
Enter, slash, slash, escape.
I hear OJ is now ready for a new relationship. His last one didn’t work out, but he’s going to take another stab at it.
That’s like the one my chiropractor told me today:
Q. Why can’t Ray Charles see his friends?
A. His wife won’t let him.
That reminds me, there was this brunette walking down the road in a finger-snapping strut while chanting, “Eighty-Eight! Eighty-Eight! Eighty-Eight!”
A blonde spots her and asks, “Whatcha doin’?”
“I’m just walking down the road saying, ‘Eighty-Eight!’ It’s fun. Want to join me?”
“Sure!”
So, there are a blonde and brunette strutting down the road snapping their fingers while chanting, “Eighty-Eight! Eighty-Eight! Eighty-Eight!”
A truck roars down the road and the brunette jumps out of the way.
Then there’s this brunette walking down the road in a finger-snapping strut while chanting, “Eighty-Nine! Eighty-Nine! Eighty-Nine!”
Well, seeing as this thread is still a going concern, one I heard today.
Query: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
Reply: Zero.
Too soon.
A new post is up about Dad Jokes:
http://ricochet.com/635173/belated-fathers-day-post/
You’d have to remember the mid-80s Celtics to get the joke. A Laker fan once told me that Len Bias and Rock Hudson had something in common: they both died from messing with bad crack.
Which reminds me:
How did AIDS get to San Francisco? In the rear end of an old Hudson.
Irish seven-course meal: A boiled potato and a six pack.