June Group Writing – Dads are Hot

 

Dads get little respect today. The foolish father is a stock element in sitcoms, the government treats fathers like the disposable element in families, even as dangerous. Your male buddies, especially the unmarried ones, razz you: you are no longer a free man, they say, you are tied down for the next twenty years, they say.

Yet, dads are vital. Boys need men around to grow into men. There is a difference between a man who knows how to use his strength to protect others and one that knows how to use it only to get what they want. It is the difference between a wolf and a guard dog. The example set by an engaged, caring father is the best way for a boy to learn what it is.

Daughters, too, learn from the example set by their father. A girl without a father often grows up never learning what a good husband is. They often never learn how to relate properly to men unless they have a non-predatory adult male (that’s you, dad) in their lives when they were growing up.

Dads rarely get compliments from their kids, and often get static. That is because dad has a different role than mom. Fall off your bike and skin your knee. Mom kisses it and holds you until you feel better. Dad slaps a bandage on the scrape and tells you to get back on the bike.

Mom provides the family mercy. Dad provides the family justice. “Just wait until your father gets home!” Everyone is wary around the judge.

Mom’s love and admiration is unconditional. Dad’s love is unconditional, too, but you must earn dad’s respect. Children strive for that respect as they are growing up and after they grow up.

You get a raise and promotion. You win an award or get a book published. You call up the folks to let them know. You tell mom because it will please her. You tell dad to earn his approval. The world is a little better, every time children achieve meaningful accomplishments to earn dad’s approval.

Dad is the one the kids come to for help and advice. Dad has the answers. As long as my dad was alive, I still called my dad for advice – because he still had answers. As for my kids?

A few years back, when I was still in my 50s, my youngest was working on his Eagle Scout project – shelving for a library. He and older brother (then college age) pick up a pallet of material delivered to the library. They need to take it to granddad’s home wood shop. They have the family van.

The pallet weighs 420 pounds. After ninety minutes of futile effort, they call dad at work. “Can you help?” Dad takes personal time and drives down to the library. When he arrives, dad assesses the situation.

Fifteen minutes later, with no other tools than the muscles of an out-of-shape fifty-something male and two young adults, the pallet is in the van. Dad knew how. That’s what makes dads hot.

Happy father’s day, dads.

Published in Group Writing
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There are 13 comments.

  1. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher

    My father would always, always, leave what he was doing at work to take my call. He is pushing 82. I so treasure him. 

     

    • #1
    • June 16, 2019, at 2:33 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  2. JoelB Member

    Mom provides the family mercy. Dad provides the family justice.

    Psalm 85:10 KJV:

     Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.

    This mercy and truth coupling appears numerous times in the Bible. It starts in Genesis and extends at least through 2 John (from a quick BibleGateway search). Other words are used in the various translations, but both are vital components of God’s wisdom and plan for our lives. You shared something very important here.

    • #2
    • June 16, 2019, at 3:24 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  3. The Great Adventure! Member

    Every year I take Fathers Day as a moment to express my gratitude of being called Dad by 2 extraordinary young people. I look at it as I should be honoring them.

    • #3
    • June 16, 2019, at 3:28 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  4. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher

    THis dad found out he got laid off today, so no longer doing my primary function. Sweet. 

    • #4
    • June 16, 2019, at 4:31 PM PDT
    • Like
  5. Seawriter Member
    Seawriter Post author

    Bryan G. Stephens (View Comment):

    THis dad found out he got laid off today, so no longer doing my primary function. Sweet.

    On Sunday? That’s just wrong.

    • #5
    • June 16, 2019, at 4:37 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  6. Shauna Hunt Member

    Bryan G. Stephens (View Comment):

    THis dad found out he got laid off today, so no longer doing my primary function. Sweet.

    I’m truly sorry.

    • #6
    • June 16, 2019, at 5:11 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  7. JoelB Member

    The pallet weighs 420 pounds. After ninety minutes of futile effort, they call dad at work. “Can you help?” Dad takes personal time, and drives down to the library. When he arrives, dad assesses the situation.

    Fifteen minutes later, with no other tools than the muscles of an out-of-shape fifty-something male and two young adults, the pallet is in the van. Dad knew how. That’s what makes dads hot.

    My thirty-something co-worker told a fifty-something co-worker that he could do difficult things because he had “Old Man Strength”. I have a feeling that’s located mostly between the ears.

    • #7
    • June 16, 2019, at 5:23 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  8. Seawriter Member
    Seawriter Post author

    JoelB (View Comment):

    The pallet weighs 420 pounds. After ninety minutes of futile effort, they call dad at work. “Can you help?” Dad takes personal time, and drives down to the library. When he arrives, dad assesses the situation.

    Fifteen minutes later, with no other tools than the muscles of an out-of-shape fifty-something male and two young adults, the pallet is in the van. Dad knew how. That’s what makes dads hot.

    My thirty-something co-worker told a fifty-something co-worker that he could do difficult things because he had “Old Man Strength”. I have a feeling that’s located mostly between the ears.

    Yup. Was in this case.

    • #8
    • June 16, 2019, at 5:40 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  9. Clifford A. Brown Contributor

    This is a fine example of playing with the June group writing theme, “Hot Stuff!,” to say something interesting. We still have plenty of open days as the summer season starts. Please stop by and sign up to share your own angle on the topic, however loosely construed.

    • #9
    • June 16, 2019, at 8:23 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  10. Stad Thatcher

    Bryan G. Stephens (View Comment):

    THis dad found out he got laid off today, so no longer doing my primary function. Sweet.

    Aww man . . . sorry to hear that.

    • #10
    • June 17, 2019, at 6:20 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  11. Mim526 Member

    Bryan G. Stephens (View Comment):

    THis dad found out he got laid off today, so no longer doing my primary function. Sweet.

    May you return to primary function very soon, I hope.

    • #11
    • June 17, 2019, at 6:59 AM PDT
    • 6 likes
  12. Boss Mongo Member

    Seawriter: Fall off your bike and skin your knee. Mom kisses it and holds you until you feel better. Dad slaps a bandage admonishes you to rub some dirt on the scrape and tells you to get back on the bike.

    FIFY.

    All four my little hellions might have some issues with what they perceive are my parenting shortfalls (in this day and age, few understand the benefits of a “hardass” progenitor). But every one of them li’l boogers respect me, every one of them knows I love them, and every one of them knows he/she could call me in need (because I’ve taught them the difference between “want” and “need”) and I’d be there, no matter what.

    Thanks, Seawriter.

    • #12
    • June 17, 2019, at 4:28 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  13. Seawriter Member
    Seawriter Post author

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):
    But every one of them li’l boogers respect me, every one of them knows I love them, and every one of them knows he/she could call me in need (because I’ve taught them the difference between “want” and “need”) and I’d be there, no matter what.

    As I noted in a different thread on fathers, it goes both ways once they are adults. My three have my back, just like they know I have their backs. Whenever they know I need help (again “need,” rather than “want”) they are there. They were there for my wife and me during her final illness and were there for me afterwards.

    And yes, at some point you will need them. Old age hath yet his honour and his toil, but it also has its limitations. That is when you learn how good a job you did as a dad.

    • #13
    • June 17, 2019, at 4:38 PM PDT
    • 4 likes