Bob Is in Thrall to a Treat-Dispensing Device Called Dogness

 

There may be a lesson in human behavior from the addiction of Bob the dog to a device called Dogness. Or maybe not. Actually, I’m not sure I’ll find a moral before I end this post. Wish me luck.

Marie and I will be taking a cruise around the Mediterranean in a couple of months, and I wanted to give Bob some comfort while we’re gone. He’s a terribly needy dog with a severe case of separation anxiety. The lady across the street is going to come to the house twice a day to look to Bob while we’re gone, but I know Bob will still miss us. To ease his distress, then, I bought Dogness, the treat-dispensing device you see to your right.

Even aboard our ship sailing on the Mediterranean, I can talk to Bob through a speaker on the device (“Hi Bob! Good dog”), dispense a treat or two, and take a photo or video.

Unfortunately, Bob is now in thrall to Dogness, as you can see by the submissive look on his face in the photo below. When our robot masters take over, it looks like our pets will easily fall into line like the rest of us. It won’t be so bad. In fact, I’ve heard, but can’t confirm, that the robots are at this moment building Dogness-like devices for humanity that will spit out little cupcakes, kale, vitamins, and Hershey kisses — a perfectly balanced diet that will keep our skin clear, our will compliant, and heal our broken hearts. It’s going to be nice.

There may be other lessons that flow from Bob’s behavior, but I can’t think of any more. Besides, the robot stuff was just a lame excuse to post some pics of Bob the dog. You know me. I can’t be trusted.

Here’s Bob waiting for Dogness to dispense his next treat.

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There are 21 comments.

  1. Susan Quinn Contributor

    Wait until you call Bob when you’re home and he goes to lay next to the robot. Have you given Dogness a real name yet?

    • #1
    • May 19, 2019, at 8:25 AM PDT
    • 11 likes
  2. Miffed White Male Member

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):
    Wait until you call Bob when you’re home and he goes to lay next to the robot.

    First time we left out oldest [then about 2] home for an extended period while my wife and I went on a five day trip, we got home about 11 PM. My sister Barb stayed with him that last day, and put him to bed. We didn’t wake him that night, but were very excited the next morning to see him. Walked into his room where he was sitting quietly in his crib. He looked at us, and his first words were “Where’s Barb?”

     

    • #2
    • May 19, 2019, at 8:38 AM PDT
    • 16 likes
  3. Aaron Miller Member

    Dogness is like Master, new and improved. Same voice, more treats. It even smells like treats. And it never says no. 

    • #3
    • May 19, 2019, at 8:38 AM PDT
    • 14 likes
  4. JosePluma Thatcher

    KentForrester: devices for humanity that will spit out little cupcakes, kale, vitamins, and Hershey kisses

    In that case, some of us will be resistant to the robot takeover. Cupcakes are just small, unsatisfying pieces of cake that you have to unwrap; Hershey kisses are small, unsatisfying candy bars that take longer to unwrap than to eat; the purpose of vitamins is, to quote my nutrition professor, “give you expensive pee;” and kale is a punishment, not a reward.

    • #4
    • May 19, 2019, at 8:40 AM PDT
    • 9 likes
  5. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester Post author

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    KentForrester: devices for humanity that will spit out little cupcakes, kale, vitamins, and Hershey kisses

    In that case, some of us will be resistant to the robot takeover. Cupcakes are just small, unsatisfying pieces of cake that you have to unwrap; Hershey kisses are small, unsatisfying candy bars that take longer to unwrap than to eat; the purpose of vitamins is, to quote my nutrition professor, “give you expensive pee;” and kale is a punishment, not a reward.

    Jose, speak for yourself. I could live off cupcakes and Hershey kisses. You’re right about the kale, though. As for the pee, you may miss that expensive pee some day when your boat is stranded in the middle of the ocean and you have to drink your urine. At that time, you’re going to miss those “expensive” micro-nutrients that you took out of your pee. Prepare, Jose, prepare. 

    • #5
    • May 19, 2019, at 9:10 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  6. James Gawron Thatcher

    JosePluma (View Comment):
    the purpose of vitamins is, to quote my nutrition professor, “give you expensive pee;” and kale is a punishment, not a reward.

    Jose,

    Wisdom for the ages.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #6
    • May 19, 2019, at 9:12 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  7. She Thatcher
    She

    Aww. What a sweet face on Bob. And how much you must love him, to get down on the floor to take a photo of him. I know from experience that, at my age, it’s not the getting down there that’s the problem, so much as hauling myself back to my feet afterwards. When I manage that these days, I immediately head for my own version of “Dogness,” called “Freezer,” and pull out a treat just for me.

    No one bothers to take a photo of me when I do that, though.

    (It is sweet of you to set Bob up like this before you go away.)

    • #7
    • May 19, 2019, at 9:43 AM PDT
    • 9 likes
  8. Arahant Member

    While this speaks mainly of cats, at one point he contrasts how dogs eat:

    • #8
    • May 19, 2019, at 10:31 AM PDT
    • 5 likes
  9. JosePluma Thatcher

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    KentForrester: devices for humanity that will spit out little cupcakes, kale, vitamins, and Hershey kisses

    In that case, some of us will be resistant to the robot takeover. Cupcakes are just small, unsatisfying pieces of cake that you have to unwrap; Hershey kisses are small, unsatisfying candy bars that take longer to unwrap than to eat; the purpose of vitamins is, to quote my nutrition professor, “give you expensive pee;” and kale is a punishment, not a reward.

    Jose, speak for yourself. I could live off cupcakes and Hershey kisses. You’re right about the kale, though. As for the pee, you may miss that expensive pee some day when your boat is stranded in the middle of the ocean and you have to drink your urine. At that time, you’re going to miss those “expensive” micro-nutrients that you took out of your pee. Prepare, Jose, prepare.

    The likelihood of me being in the middle of the ocean in anything smaller than a Holland-America cruise ship is somewhat smaller than the likelihood of my voluntarily consuming kale. 

    • #9
    • May 19, 2019, at 10:51 AM PDT
    • 8 likes
  10. MarciN Member

    Arahant (View Comment):
    While this speaks mainly of cats, at one point he contrasts how dogs eat:

    What a fascinating talk about dogs and cats. I’ve enjoyed it immensely. Thank you.

    The story about his mom’s cat not eating unless someone sat with her: my son’s dog is like that too. And he was a neglected dog–not exactly a stray, but not well cared for. Mystery solved.

    I really like this vet. I’m sure all of his YouTube videos are excellent and enjoyable.

    Vets are such special people. To watch them work with little creatures who can’t tell them where it hurts is quite remarkable and inspiring.

    I had a stray cat who was afraid of everyone except our veterinarian. Whenever I took Genie to the vet, she would hop out of the carrier as soon as she saw Dr. Venezia and give him a hug. Such love between those two. :-) I love what the vet in the YouTube talk said about stray cats. It’s exactly what my vet said about our stray cat: “Just love her and enjoy her and accept her the way she is.” :-)

    I really enjoyed that video. Thank you again.

    • #10
    • May 19, 2019, at 11:23 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  11. Front Seat Cat Member

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    KentForrester: devices for humanity that will spit out little cupcakes, kale, vitamins, and Hershey kisses

    In that case, some of us will be resistant to the robot takeover. Cupcakes are just small, unsatisfying pieces of cake that you have to unwrap; Hershey kisses are small, unsatisfying candy bars that take longer to unwrap than to eat; the purpose of vitamins is, to quote my nutrition professor, “give you expensive pee;” and kale is a punishment, not a reward.

    Jose, speak for yourself. I could live off cupcakes and Hershey kisses. You’re right about the kale, though. As for the pee, you may miss that expensive pee some day when your boat is stranded in the middle of the ocean and you have to drink your urine. At that time, you’re going to miss those “expensive” micro-nutrients that you took out of your pee. Prepare, Jose, prepare.

    Boy – there’s a positive thought when you’re about to go on a cruise …….

    • #11
    • May 19, 2019, at 1:00 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  12. Goldwaterwoman Thatcher

    Make sure you use the microphone a few times with him before you leave so it won’t scare him. The picture is darling.

    • #12
    • May 19, 2019, at 4:32 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  13. Al French, sad sack Member

    My wife and I did a Med cruise eight years ago. We visited Egypt ten days before the Arab Spring. It was a great trip. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did. 

    • #13
    • May 19, 2019, at 5:02 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  14. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester Post author

    Al French, sad sack (View Comment):

    My wife and I did a Med cruise eight years ago. We visited Egypt ten days before the Arab Spring. It was a great trip. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

    Al, during our cruise we’ll be visiting Israel for a few days. I’m looking forward to that visit most of all. 

    • #14
    • May 19, 2019, at 5:09 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  15. Jules PA Member

    I hope your dog lives the treat giving robot. 

    Lived the vet video on eating habits of cats. 

    • #15
    • May 19, 2019, at 5:11 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  16. Basil Fawlty Member

    Does “Bob” induce tail anxiety?

    • #16
    • May 19, 2019, at 5:11 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  17. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester Post author

    Basil Fawlty (View Comment):

    Does “Bob” induce tail anxiety?

    Basil, are you referring to the practice of bobbing dogs’ tails when they’re born? As you probably know, it used to be the custom for certain breeds used to have their tails bobbed a couple of days after birth. In fact, my dad cut off our dog Eleanor’s pups with a hatchet. I still remember their squeals. 

    I don’t think they do that anymore. 

    • #17
    • May 19, 2019, at 7:34 PM PDT
    • Like
  18. Mister Dog Coolidge

    Arahant (View Comment):

    While this speaks mainly of cats, at one point he contrasts how dogs eat:

    I recognized our two cats instantly. The one we got as a kitten eats a little now, a little later and wants nothing to with human food, except plain yogurt, which she loves. The rescue cat we got as an adult gulps down instantly whatever he gets and begs for human food like a dog, except yogurt, which he despises.

    • #18
    • May 19, 2019, at 8:13 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  19. Arahant Member

    Mister Dog (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    While this speaks mainly of cats, at one point he contrasts how dogs eat:

    I recognized our two cats instantly. The one we got as a kitten eats a little now, a little later and wants nothing to with human food, except plain yogurt, which she loves. The rescue cat we got as an adult gulps down instantly whatever he gets and begs for human food like a dog, except yogurt, which he despises.

    Sounds a lot like our two.

    • #19
    • May 19, 2019, at 9:00 PM PDT
    • Like
  20. Hang On Member

    When you get back from your cruise, are you going to put the treat-dispensing robot in the closet? Sounds like Bob normally already has one treat-dispensing robot. I know my dog does. Me. Having two would make my dog even more spoiled than she is now. When I come home from work, my dog will grab something in her mouth, greet me at the door, and then trade whatever is in her mouth for a treat. Works every time for her.

    • #20
    • May 20, 2019, at 4:27 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  21. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester Post author

    Hang On (View Comment):

    When you get back from your cruise, are you going to put the treat-dispensing robot in the closet? Sounds like Bob normally already has one treat-dispensing robot. I know my dog does. Me. Having two would make my dog even more spoiled than she is now. When I come home from work, my dog will grab something in her mouth, greet me at the door, and then trade whatever is in her mouth for a treat. Works every time for her.

    Hang on, I know what you’re talking about. Marie gets on me for giving Bob too many treats. She says he’s growing fat. But I like to give him treats!

    That’s a cute dog you have, the way he trades his toy for a treat. Bob often greets us at the door with a toy in his mouth. He wants to play tug of war with his toy. 

     

    • #21
    • May 20, 2019, at 6:26 AM PDT
    • 2 likes