Cultural Incompetence

 

It’s easy to poke fun at foreigners or immigrants when they fail to fully grasp local customs and idioms. But sometimes we fail even at our own customs. That’s when the real razzing begins.

Crawfish are not exotic here on the edge of bayou country. I was born in Louisiana and have lived nearly my entire life somewhere along the I-10 corridor of Cajun cooking between Houston and Pensacola. So you’d think I could peel a mudbug in nothing flat.

But the honest truth is I’m slower than a Democrat with his own money when separating meat and shell. I’m slow at many things, but this one hurts my pride as a Gulf Coast Southerner.

This is not a mouth made for spicy foods either. Tabasco, cayenne, Slap Ya Mama — it makes no difference. I have an Irish tongue made for eating dirt. Black pepper is sufficient.

Do you similarly shame your family by failing to properly represent your blood, your hometown, or some other heritage while participating in sacred rituals of frivolity? Do you dance like an Englishman? Do you swing a bat like a soccer player? Are you a poor excuse for a Californian, a bad Italian, an embarrassment to Steelers fans, or an impostor of another kind?

Why not tell us so we can make fun of you too?

Published in Humor
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  1. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Arahant (View Comment):

    JosePluma (View Comment):
    One December we spent a week at the in-laws’ in Michigan. The temperature never topped 10˚ F. On the way home, we stopped for gas in Joplin, Missouri. I noticed the people in the gas station were looking at me . . . oddly. I commented on this to my wife and she said “It’s probably 30˚ outside and you’re wearing shorts and a t-shirt.”

    Exactly. It’s all in where you came from and how big the change is, not some arbitrary number.

    But you lose your acclimation quickly.  40 degrees in mid-March feels heavenly if there’s no wind.  But by October, 40 degrees feels miserably cold again.

    • #61
  2. Kim K. Inactive
    Kim K.
    @KimK

    After I moved to the Mojave Desert I would have phone calls with my dad in NW Iowa in February in which he would, unironically, tell me the weather was beautiful, 20 degrees, no wind, and the sun shining. And I could tell him in August, unironically, the weather was beautiful, only 99 degrees, 8% humidity, slight breeze, etc. 

     

    • #62
  3. Aaron Miller Inactive
    Aaron Miller
    @AaronMiller

    Kim K. (View Comment):

    After I moved to the Mojave Desert I would have phone calls with my dad in NW Iowa in February in which he would, unironically, tell me the weather was beautiful, 20 degrees, no wind, and the sun shining. And I could tell him in August, unironically, the weather was beautiful, only 99 degrees, 8% humidity, slight breeze, etc.

     

    Here the weather is beautiful, only 95 degrees, 90% humidity, 8% mosqitoes, 2% squirrelly.  

    • #63
  4. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Aaron Miller (View Comment):
    8% mosqitoes

    Okay, that was funny.

    • #64
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