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He Who Finds a Wife Who Watches Marvel With Him
I live in Hong Kong, so I have the opportunity to see Avengers: Endgame before most of the world. You’ll be surprised when you find out it’s Hawkeye who kills Thanos. Without any help. In hand-to-hand combat.
I kid, I kid. It was Ant-Man.
Ok, but seriously, my prediction was right.
Ok, but with actual seriousness, I haven’t even seen it yet. It comes out tomorrow.
And Mrs. Augustine and I have a date.
We’ve traveled the Delta Quadrant together, defeated the Borg together, waged war together on the Dominion. And we’ve seen a good many of the MCU films together. Now we can go defeat Thanos together. Yes!
Somehow.
For those who wanna talk about Marvel, here’s my best just-a-guess from the trailers, the clips, and the fact that the writers want it to be a team effort but also want certain people to be Extra Special in the fight against Thanos. Thor will Bifrost back to Dwarf-Giant place to get Rocket’s spaceship. Captain Marvel will show up on earth. The Avengers and friends will use that ship to rescue Iron Man. Then everybody will put together a plan:
–they use Iron Man‘s technology to make Ant-Manish suits for everyone,
–they use Ant-Man‘s quantum realm magic stuff to get everyone to Thanos,
—Captain Marvel beats up Thanos,
–our heroes take the Infinity Stones from him,
–time travel happens,
–and, in the past, Thanos gets defeated somehow and the Snap gets canceled.
I can’t even guess at the details in the past, beyond speculating that Thor is probably important, and Captain America and/or Iron Man will not come back alive.
More importantly, and whether we care about Marvel or not, there’s this for all of us: Paraphrasing the Bible, he who finds a wife who watches Marvel with him finds what is good, and receives favor from the Lord. Like Shakespeare said, let me not to the marriage of true nerd minds admit impediments.
Our Marvel date is tomorrow. Mrs. Augustine, I love you, Chicky-Baby.
Published in Group Writing
A blessed man indeed. If they use the comics as a source the souls of the heroes are in the soul gem strange and vision will use their abilities to attack Thanos from within the Gem while the heroes outside attack Thanos physically. They use the matter Gem to restore the bodies and the snap is undone without time travel. Thanos is taken down by a massive pile on of heroes at the end. Gamora is in the soul gem too. One or two heroes are killed by Thanos by natural means giving the moive the story heft it needs.
That is my guess.
We play video games together. Seriously, ladies… if you can’t beat the hobby, join the hobby.
What??? Thanos is defeated? Give a spoiler alert warning if you’re gonna leak that kind of stuff, would ya? What an unexpected twist!
Okay, here’s my prediction: The heroes recruit a bounty hunter named Chigurh (played by Javier Bardem) to track Josh Brolin’s character all over the Southwest and Mexico – finally killing him and his wife Carla Jean. Or maybe I’m confusing this with some other movie…
By the way, I consider it the kiss of death for any story if it drags in time travel or alternate universes. Either of those devices makes everything meaningless, since it can all be undone at a whim. (Are you listening, TV Flash? You dragged in both of those, and now your show sucks.)
I hardly ever Marvel and never when my wife watches.
Jon Snow ends up killing Thanos and his White Walkers, and Captain Marvel turns out to be Emperor Palpatine’s clone creation, which is why she’s so powerful. I think that solves just about everything….
Captain Marvel kills Thanos because she’s woman, hear her roar.
Ant-Man enters “the quantum realm” because the only thing dumber than time travel is something composed of many atoms playing around in a subatomic environment.
Iron Man meets Magneto, til death do them part.
Magneto’s frog-like henchman swallows the Fly. I don’t know why he swallowed the Fly. I guess he’ll die.
Spiderman gets caught in his own tangled web with Black Widow.
Stan Lee returns, beginning the zombie apocalypse trilogy.
A+ for this reference! (Now I have Burl Ives’s rendition playing in my mind …).
I still haven’t watch the last Avengers movie, but I’ve seen the joke theories about how Ant-Man could defeat Thanos. Messy!
He’s been doubly good to you.
To be fair to time travel, I think it worked well in the first two Terminator movies. (Maybe not the third, but at least I enjoy it as a movie.) And I think time travel to undo the Snap–maybe even saving some of Xandar and some Asgard civilians–might be nice.
But I tend to agree. TV Flash–sheesh. Terminator Genesys–sheesh. (Not that I don’t watch that stuff anyway.) If Marvel undoes their whole cinematic universe–please no!
We have maybe five hours till we go to discover the truth.
And it’s about time to stop ingesting fluids. Why don’t they have an intermission for this thing?????
On a semi-related note, YouTube has a zillion videos on how “The Avengers Theme Goes with Anything.”
It’s so cool. It’s amazing how well it works.
As the Twitter joke goes, Sonny Bunch is always right. He’s been calling for a return of the intermission for a while now.
Further leaks:
Doctor Strange writes a love story, which bombs.
Ant-Man retires to a farm. He can’t shake the feeling he is being watched.
Hawkeye discovers firearms.
The Infinity Stones are safely secured in plastic clamshell packaging.
The theaters really need this to happen. Go to a still or recap screen with theme music, include a 5 minute warning cue.
Ah, geeks in love!
This conversation is part of our Group Writing Series under the April 2019 Group Writing Theme: Men and Women. We still have room for one or two more contributions. Tell us about your favorite couple, witty or tragic observations between the sexes, or perhaps the battles and truces. Or do something entirely different. Maybe a musical or dance post! Our schedule and sign-up sheet awaits.
May’s theme is now up, and the days are being rapidly filled: May 2019 Group Writing Theme: Blooming Ideas.
Some people do some things.
Like I predicted, a thoroughly boring movie. Mostly economics conversations.
All they had to do was show Thanos what a mess earth’s economy was after the Snap. He renounced Malthusianism, politely apologized, and fixed everything.
Of course enterprising people have found another solution if the intermission won’t return, a database of times when you won’t miss much for a break and an app to alert you.
We’ve been watching “Gotham” for over a month. We were both pleased that it has over 100 episodes. (Available on Netflix.)
In return, he watched the rom com “Ali’s Wedding” with me last night. It was innovative enough that he enjoyed it a lot. But I have a feeling it will be “Gotham” again tonight.
Anyone else seen this?
In the support group scene I thought I recognized a face from Daredevil. At first I thought it was Foggy, and then I thought it was his brother, but it all happened so fast.
Google the Endgame support group and you’ll find the internet freaking out over the MCU’s first openly gay, canonically gay, or just plain gay character.
I find this very annoying. Not because of ethics, identity politics, and so on. These goofballs think they’re writing Very Important Commentary on Very Important Cultural Events, but they are totally ignorant of culture. They didn’t even bother to ask anyone who’s spent any serious time exploring MCU.
There are AT LEAST TWO earlier gay guys in MCU. One in Agents of SHIELD, one in The Punisher.
I saw it and it was a great movie. A real ride. Something worth paying to go see.
It was a fitting culmination to the series as well and clears the palate well for the epilogue in Spider-man far from home.
Also the most most appropriate use of the legendary battle cry “Avengers Assemble” in any medium in any time.
Also nice little cameo by Stan the Man too…