About That Apology…

 

Here is a good article from KayDeeDub on apologies. Read it first, then my post. Or not … I don’t care. It’s your life.

Years ago, at a job I no longer work at, I did something that I knew was wrong when I did it and knew I could get fired if someone found out. I won’t give details I’ll just say it was about money, so you won’t think I was doing something untoward in a closet. Anyway, I did get found out. I sat down with my boss and simply confessed. Yes, I did it. Here’s why I did it. I knew it was wrong to do. I’ll fix it. And you can and probably should fire me, I deserve it. I’m sorry.

I didn’t lose my job for three reasons: my boss was a good man, I had a spotless record up until then (and since, I might add), and I fessed up with neither excuse nor blame.

Here is my point: everyone “makes mistakes.” And by mistakes I mean does something stupid that they know is immoral, unethical, and/or illegal. If someone says otherwise they are lying to you. But it is not those mistakes that define us. It is how we deal with the consequences of those mistakes that, at least in part, define us.

Here is my other point: when faced with a tough choice, the right choice is always the right choice. We know what the right thing to do is. Always do the right thing. You may suffer short term consequences at first, but long term you will always be better off.

Published in General
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s growing community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Get your first month free.

There are 12 comments.

  1. Member

    I told my kids when you Mess Up (when not If), Fess Up, Pay Up and Move on. That’s shorthand for,

    1. Don’t try to hide or deny what you did

    2. Make restitution whenever possible (some things cannot be undone)

    3. Resolve to do better AND don’t beat yourself up because you aren’t perfect, join the crowd

    You may or may not be treated well for using this approach but it’s the right thing to do both because you’ve done what you can to make things right with others and because you will be motivated not to make the same mis-step again. But even if you don’t dodge any consequences, you are choosing what kind of person you will be and that is reason enough to do the right thing.

    • #1
    • April 20, 2019, at 11:03 AM PDT
    • 14 likes
  2. Coolidge

    Well said @spin. I think the only thing you left out is that the “right thing” is very rarely (never is a long time) not knowable. That’s my answer to “But I didn’t know….” what to do, it was wrong, and so on. And it’s rarely not do-able. And everyone makes mistakes. Which is where you began. Well said. 

    • #2
    • April 20, 2019, at 11:22 AM PDT
    • 5 likes
  3. Thatcher

    A mistake is where you think you are doing the right thing, and it turns out to be the wrong thing.

    It is not a mistake to do a bad thing, knowing you did a bad thing. It is simply a Bad Thing.

    It makes me very angry when a public figure apologizes and says “mistakes were made”. That is a big, fat lie, since bad things were done, and he or she unfortunately got caught.

    • #3
    • April 20, 2019, at 11:44 AM PDT
    • 13 likes
  4. Member

    From the linked article:

    You’re not sorry if you’re trying to get something by saying so.

    I might quibble with that if what one is trying “to get” is only forgiveness, but otherwise it’s a good line. It seems we’ve come to the point where prostrating oneself in apology has become so much part of the culture that it can be be baked into the cake of doing wrong. So . . . I’ll do pretty much what I want because I know in advance that, if it turns out badly, I’ve got this apology thing to fall back on. And guess what, I’ll get the publicity I likely crave by making the apology. People might even feel sorry for me if I’m good at it. Good deal.

    • #4
    • April 20, 2019, at 12:24 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  5. Member

    My oldest son was in a senior in high school when he fessed up about skipping school in the sixth grade to play with a computer at is friend’s house several times. Probably learned more than if he had gone to school.

    • #5
    • April 20, 2019, at 12:26 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  6. Member

    “Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom”

    General George S. Patton

    • #6
    • April 20, 2019, at 1:25 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  7. Moderator

    Spin: Here is a good article from KayDeeDub on apologies. Read it first, then my post. Or not…I don’t care. It’s your life.

    Oh yes, do read it. Where else are you going to read about a flock of seagulls eating pepperoni in a hotel room?

    • #7
    • April 20, 2019, at 1:53 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  8. Contributor

    Randy Weivoda (View Comment):
    Here is a good article from KayDeeDub on apologies

    Well, we all know about bands trashing hotel rooms:

    • #8
    • April 20, 2019, at 4:33 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  9. Member

    Spin:

    Here is my point: everyone “makes mistakes.” And by mistakes I mean does something stupid that they know is immoral, unethical, and/or illegal. If someone says otherwise they are lying to you.

    Places in mind the old lie/quip: “I’ve never made a mistake . . . I thought I did once, but I was mistaken.”

    Spin:

    But it is not those mistakes that define us. It is how we deal with the consequences of those mistakes that, at least in part, define us.

    Over the years of counseling airmen the day following (you name it – they’re a pretty inventive class of people), after (1) the butt-chewing came (2) the “now people are going to be watching to see how you bounce back from this, and you will, but understand it’s a process over which you have the most influence,” and then (3) the personal “there I was” tale from past misadventures.

     

     

     

    • #9
    • April 21, 2019, at 6:35 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  10. Member

    Never apologize to a special counsel.

    • #10
    • April 21, 2019, at 6:55 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  11. Coolidge
    Spin Post author

    Randy Weivoda (View Comment):

    Spin: Here is a good article from KayDeeDub on apologies. Read it first, then my post. Or not…I don’t care. It’s your life.

    Oh yes, do read it. Where else are you going to read about a flock of seagulls eating pepperoni in a hotel room?

    Which is why I ran…I ran so far away…

    • #11
    • April 21, 2019, at 1:35 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  12. Coolidge
    Spin Post author

    Clifford A. Brown (View Comment):

    Randy Weivoda (View Comment):
    Here is a good article from KayDeeDub on apologies

    Well, we all know about bands trashing hotel rooms:

    Shoot you beat me to it.

    • #12
    • April 21, 2019, at 1:36 PM PDT
    • 3 likes