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The last two months have been unkind to Democrats. Since being sworn in as the majority in the House of Representatives, the Party of Government seems hellbent on losing one news cycle after another. In the roughly eight-week period between Virginia governor Ralph Northam admitting to having performed in blackface to last Thursday when Jussie Smollett’s lawyer suggested that her client’s alleged Nigerian attackers may have been wearing whiteface, it’s tempting to think that God loves Republicans and wants them to be happy.
So overwhelmingly has the GOP dominated the news cycle that merely the last two weeks have provided ample Soup For The Republican Soul, from the self-immolation of Michael Avenatti to the Southern Poverty Law Center’s deeming itself a hate group. Let’s take a look at five more examples.
University Admissions Scandal
Ever since the university admissions scandal broke, I’ve had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I might not have been admitted to Long Beach City College on merit. How long before we learn that some Korean couple is charged with attempting to bribe Harvard officials to pretend that their daughter isn’t Asian?
Joe Biden – The Gift Who Keeps On Giving
Just when you think Republicans won’t have Joe Biden to kick around anymore, the avuncular political lifer announces that he’s considering a third failed run for the presidency. I’ll leave it to Uncle Joe to justify trading in his golden years with his grandchildren in exchange for having to ask Stacy Abrams if he can borrow her blackness for a sec. Increasingly the Democrats’ primary is shaping up to be a cover-your-eyes embarrassing intervention on behalf of Biden, Sanders, and something called Buttigieg: in the world of progressive politics, there is no statute of limitations for being a white male.
If you thought that Trump receiving a clean bill of health from the Special Counsel meant that CNN would resume its 24/7 coverage of missing Malaysia Airlines flight 370, you’d be wrong.
As for the norm mongers like David Frum out there, can we at least take a moment to acknowledge Trump’s restoration of norms to the Department of Justice? Say what you want about Jeff Sessions, he never asked Team Mueller or anyone else to refer to the investigation of the Trump campaign as a “matter” as did Obama’s Attorney General Loretta Lynch with regard to Hillary Clinton’s handling of top-secret government emails.
And despite what you may have heard, the Mueller Report’s findings don’t represent the culmination of progressives’ two-year transformation from Bill Bixby into the Incredible Hulk. No, that will occur when the Inspector General launches an investigation of the FBI and the Department of Justice into FISA abuse.
Brexit is only one of many iterations of people around the world revolting against their self-appointed betters in politics, media, and culture. As Great Britain’s seemingly futile attempt to reclaim the sovereignty it forfeited by joining the European Union continues to unfold, I’m reminded of the age-old wisdom a generation of young men received from their uncles: never get involved with a redheaded stripper named Tiffany. (You needn’t familiarize yourself with the EU’s encyclopedia-like regulations to realize where Brussels resides on the crazy-hot matrix.)
Jussie Smollett Saga
The social justice warriors’ narrative surrounding the Jussie Smollett saga is clearly incapable of keeping up with the emerging facts. This story has a little bit of everything for Deplorables, from wild-eyed anti-MAGA hatred to Democrat big city corruption. We’re now at the point where accusing the Empire actor of committing a hoax is precisely what a homophobic, racist country would do.
Personally, I was hoping that Smollett went on trial just so his lawyer could insist that her client couldn’t get a fair trial in MAGA country. One can only hope that the resultant tensions between the Chicago police department and Mayor Rahm Emanuel on one hand and the Cook County State’s Attorney Office on the other are merely a prelude to a brutal throat-punching Democratic primary.
At this juncture, the only thing that might cause Smollett’s supporters to enter the final stage of Trump Derangement Syndrome is if the president vowed to deport the Nigerian brothers for carrying out the attack.
By the way, isn’t it a little late in Rahm Emanuel’s term as mayor to be discovering the Chicago Way?