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Texas has been blessed with having two Democratic presidential candidates representing us in the 2020 race: Julián Castro and Robert “Beto” O’Rourke. As a public service and after extensive research, I am going to present a side by side comparison of the two contenders.
Beto was on the city council of a city with one of the lowest crime rates in the country. He has served as a U.S. Representative and ran a remarkably successful race for Senate, narrowly losing to Ted Cruz.
Castro was on the city council and served as mayor of one of the most crime-ridden cities in Texas. He was a very important cabinet secretary for President Obama. He has never been in a statewide race.
Beto is Anglo, but has a cool Hispanic nickname.
Castro is Hispanic, but does not have a cool nickname. In fact, he shares a surname with one of the most murderous dictators in the Western Hemisphere.
Beto has two younger siblings.
Castro has an identical twin brother, which begs the question: Which one is the evil twin? In fact, how can we ever be sure that it is really Julián we are dealing with and not Joaquin?
Beto has been arrested twice for minor offenses.
Castro has never been arrested according to public records, assuming that there were no coverups in the city where he and his family has exerted immense political control for decades.
Beto was a member of a notorious hacker group called Cult of the Dead Cow.
Castro was never in any cool hacker organizations according to public records. In fact, there is no evidence that he has ever used a computer.
Beto has appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair.
Castro has appeared several times on the cover of San Antonio Sí!
Beto plays guitar and is a skateboarder.
Castro does not have any rad hobbies.
Beto: Dem teeth!
Castro also has teeth, though he has never live-streamed a dental visit. What is he hiding?
Compare and contrast the candidate’s stands and policies in the following areas, including specific legislative and executive proposals:
- Monetary policy
- Energy and the environment
- Foreign policy
- Economic growth and jobs
- Crime and gun control
Nobody cares about any of that uncool boring stuff.