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Unexpected Gifts: The Gifts You Give
In 2002, I was out of a job. My employer closed shop in September 2001, and immediately after 9-11 no one else was hiring. By the time businesses were again hiring, I had been unemployed six months.
In technology industries six months is forever. The longer I was out of work, less likely it was that I would get hired. I was rapidly becoming unemployable.
Then an acquaintance I casually knew 20 years earlier found out I needed a job. Call him Bill. Bill was a manager at NASA. While his organization did not need someone with my skills, many of his contractors did. He got my resume and pushed it to his contractors, even twisting an arm or two to get me interviews.
I soon found a job with a company that urgently needed my skills. I ended up working for a man I had worked for 15 years previously. He had been sorry to lose me then, and delighted to get me back. I would not have known about the opening without Bill’s help.
Afterward, I called Bill to thank him. I did not know why he had gone to all the effort he had for someone he barely knew. I was grateful. “I could not have gotten the job without your help,” I told him. “I owe you.”
“You do not owe me,” he said. “At best, we are even. If I can ever help you again, I will.”
He reminded me of something I had done 20 years earlier. He was a year or two out of college then. The company for which we were working was reducing its professional staff by three-quarters.
I was going to be one of the few junior people kept. Many of my coworkers, including Bill, were facing layoff. The economy was bad at that time. Losing your job right then – especially for those a year or so out of college – meant that you would leave that industry forever.
Since I was not looking for a job, I had time to help those that were. I could write well. I helped many of the junior people in my group – including Bill – prepare their resumes. I did not spend much time with each person, only a few hours.
Bill got a great job with the organization he is now with. After he was hired, he was told that they hired him because of his resume. At my urging he added a few lines I said would impress that employer. It did – and set him on the path to becoming a senior manager.
We think we have to do something really big to change someone else’s life. Instead it is often the small things that make the biggest changes – things so small you may not even notice them at the time. Those you affect remember, even when you do not.
Sometimes your most unexpected gifts come from the gifts you gave others, without thought of an exchange.
This appeared in at E-gracenotes in a different form in 2006. I hold the copyright, and sadly e-gracenotes has disappeared into cyberspace.
Published in Group Writing
Good story with which to start the day. (Yeah, it’s already late in the day. I’m retired and can start the day whenever I want.)
Amen to that.
This lovely piece also speaks to the importance of human connections in a market economy. This is not the cold face of capitalism but the very human connections among us that put people who each want or need something in touch with each other. It’s beautiful.
Very true that it may be just a small thing, Seawriter. I once wrote to thank a teacher who had opened a path for me back in junior high. I was so glad I did, as she died soon after.
Such a great story. Corporate or professional success is all well and good. But planting seeds of encouragement like this pays more eternal rewards.
Both points are spot-on, @seawriter. Thank you!
This story is an unexpected gift for me. My husband has been unemployed since December. It gives me hope that there is another way prepared for him. We’re human and we need each other. Thank you for your contributions.
@seawriter offers us an excellent example of doing well by doing good.
This conversation is part of our Group Writing Series under the March 2019 Group Writing Theme: Unexpected Gifts. There are plenty of dates still available. Tell us about anything from a hidden talent to a white elephant. Share a great surprise or memorable failure (oh, you shouldn’t have!). Our schedule and sign-up sheet awaits.
March’s theme is posted: “Unexpected Gifts.”
Thanks Seawriter. So true and more proof of your word crafting skills.
Outstanding. Thank you, Seawriter. Great point that I haven’t on enough. Although, on reading your post, I got slammed with memories of people saying–when I thanked them for a huge favor or effort–either:
Sir!
or
Dude!
In a tone of voice that said “why are you even thanking me?”
I’ve reaped the benefits of the “mission first, men always” mindset my whole career. You’ve put it well into perspective. Thank you.
Well, duh.
I recently read about a study that found 7 similarities in morality in all cultures. One of those is the reciprocity obligation. Every culture values reciprocity as a moral act.
My studies of persuasion also emphasize the reciprocity principle.
If you give something to someone, they will want to give you something, relative value does not matter.
It is a good thing, I think.