Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Punning Dreams

 

I used to be a terrible punster. I still have friends who are punsters, but I have spent many decades reforming myself. I don’t think I have originated or cracked a pun in at least a decade. Unfortunately, I do not seem to be fully reformed, since I just woke up from this dream:

A companion and I were walking around the outside of the White House. (I’m not sure who my companion was, just that I knew him in the dream.) Somehow, we had gotten quite close. In fact, at one point, we walked by a window and I saw a very Simpsons-like tableau with the current President and First Lady in bed. The President was thoroughly asleep and catching flies as he snored. (Of course, it was an inaccurate dream, since they wouldn’t sleep in a room on the ground floor.)

We both realized we would be escorted out soon, but for some reason in this dream world, the Secret Service had a reputation for escorting unwanted visitors out very gently. As expected, a Secret Service Agent found us. He was carrying some decorations, and acted as if he needed some help. At first, he asked us if we would carry some of the decorations, but then changed his mind as if he were not sure they would go where he was supposed to put them up. He had us drop the decorations and come to look with him. Of course, he was really escorting us so we would go out the gates and leave the property. We knew what was going on, but played along so we wouldn’t wind up on a list somewhere.

When we exited the gates, there was another formidable building just ahead. (Hint: this building only exists in my dream. It certainly was not in Washington last time I was there.) There were many people coming and going from the main doors, so we walked up to see what it was and read: Richard M. Nixon Aquatic Museum.

My companion was slightly behind me, so I turned to face him when I reached the doors and proudly said, “This must have been where he gave that famous speech. You know, the one where he said, “I am not a crappie!'”* And then I went inside.

Have you ever caught yourself telling jokes or punning while you were dreaming? Any good ones?

* Note: The author of this discussion is not responsible for his sub-conscious as expressed in his dreams.

There are 58 comments.

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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    I should also admit that it could have been worse. I was planning on perpetrating more Nixon fish puns, but that was when I woke up.

    • #1
    • January 29, 2019, at 2:07 AM PST
    • 4 likes
  2. Judge Mental Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    I should also admit that it could have been worse. I was planning on perpetrating more Nixon fish puns, but that was when I woke up.

    Probably caused by my psychic cry of pain.

    • #2
    • January 29, 2019, at 2:28 AM PST
    • 6 likes
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    I should also admit that it could have been worse. I was planning on perpetrating more Nixon fish puns, but that was when I woke up.

    Probably caused by my psychic cry of pain.

    Or the whole world’s psychic cry of pain.

    • #3
    • January 29, 2019, at 2:30 AM PST
    • 3 likes
  4. OldDanRhody's speakeasy Member

    Arahant: Have you ever caught yourself telling jokes or punning while you were dreaming?

    Probably – a lot of weird stuff goes on in there, but it all fades away…

    Arahant: Any good ones?

    Unlikely.

    • #4
    • January 29, 2019, at 2:49 AM PST
    • 2 likes
  5. She Reagan
    SheJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I hate to carp, but now that I’ve had time to mullet over, I have to say that something about this post smelt a bit off.

    • #5
    • January 29, 2019, at 3:50 AM PST
    • 34 likes
  6. Percival Thatcher
    PercivalJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    It occurs from time to time.

    I was on a mission to report to this group of people on the dangers of promoting devil worship in public schools. (Why this was up to me, or how I knew, are details I can no longer recall.) After overcoming all obstacles and finding the group I had to reach, I found them in a room, yawning, drumming their fingers on the table, and throwing paper airplanes at each other.

    It wasn’t until I woke up that I realized that they were the Bored of Education.

    • #6
    • January 29, 2019, at 3:54 AM PST
    • 19 likes
  7. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    She (View Comment):

    I hate to carp, but now that I’ve had time to mullet over, I have to say that something about this post smelt a bit off.

    Really, my porpoise was not to encourage you.

    • #7
    • January 29, 2019, at 4:00 AM PST
    • 14 likes
  8. Bruce Caward Thatcher
    Bruce CawardJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    She (View Comment):

    I hate to carp, but now that I’ve had time to mullet over, I have to say that something about this post smelt a bit off.

    Read it anyway, just for the halibut.

    • #8
    • January 29, 2019, at 4:05 AM PST
    • 14 likes
  9. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    This conversation is floundering.

    • #9
    • January 29, 2019, at 4:06 AM PST
    • 10 likes
  10. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    But if Rob Long showed up, it would be foundering.

    • #10
    • January 29, 2019, at 4:07 AM PST
    • 5 likes
  11. She Reagan
    SheJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    A tuna-ful interlude:

     

    • #11
    • January 29, 2019, at 4:13 AM PST
    • 4 likes
  12. Percival Thatcher
    PercivalJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    You people insisting on focusing on one theme for your puns is making me crabby.

    • #12
    • January 29, 2019, at 4:16 AM PST
    • 7 likes
  13. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    Percival (View Comment):

    You people insisting on focusing on one theme for your puns is making me crabby.

    Snappish? Or lousy?

    • #13
    • January 29, 2019, at 4:24 AM PST
    • 3 likes
  14. PHCheese Member

    You piked my interest. There is something fishy about that dream I hope you are finished. I had to say it just for the halibut .

    • #14
    • January 29, 2019, at 5:11 AM PST
    • 5 likes
  15. Percival Thatcher
    PercivalJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    You people insisting on focusing on one theme for your puns is making me crabby.

    Snappish? Or lousy?

    Don’t cock a snook at me, croaker.

    • #15
    • January 29, 2019, at 5:13 AM PST
    • 6 likes
  16. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    Must not reply. Must restrain myself. Must not encourage them. Must not school them.

    • #16
    • January 29, 2019, at 5:18 AM PST
    • 5 likes
  17. Paul Erickson Inactive

    She (View Comment):

    A tuna-ful interlude:

     

    Nice! Who was singing bass?

    • #17
    • January 29, 2019, at 5:19 AM PST
    • 6 likes
  18. Paul Erickson Inactive

    Arahant: I used to be a terrible punster.

    Have you been weighed in the scales and found wanting? The difference between a “good” and a “terrible” punster is in the fish-eye of the beholder.

    • #18
    • January 29, 2019, at 5:23 AM PST
    • 7 likes
  19. Jim Chase Member
    Jim ChaseJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    But if Rob Long showed up, it would be foundering.

    Like a sturgeon, touched for the very first time.

    • #19
    • January 29, 2019, at 5:53 AM PST
    • 6 likes
  20. Michael Brehm Member

    This conversation needs to go to the main feed, so the trouter world can suffer its turbots. 

    • #20
    • January 29, 2019, at 6:24 AM PST
    • 6 likes
  21. She Reagan
    SheJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I comment on posts like this for purely eeleemosynary reasons (I may have spelled that incorrectly, but not by much.) 

    Would write more, but it’s getting cold outside and about to snow, so I have to find the tractor and put the tarpon.

     

     

    • #21
    • January 29, 2019, at 6:36 AM PST
    • 10 likes
  22. KentForrester Moderator

    That one hurt me a bit, Arahant. When I came across She’s puns I could almost see the superior, smirky look on her face when she wrote them.

    Punsters are shameless and cruel and ought to be banned from polite society. Of course, Arahant and She would never know because they’ve never been a part of that class.

    I hope you two have them out of your system.

    • #22
    • January 29, 2019, at 7:27 AM PST
    • 4 likes
  23. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    Punsters are shameless and cruel and ought to be banned from polite society.

    As I said, Kent, I tried for more than a decade. It’s just that they come out, even in my dreams. You’re showing your bigotry against Punnish-Americans.

    • #23
    • January 29, 2019, at 7:31 AM PST
    • 4 likes
  24. She Reagan
    SheJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    That one hurt me a bit, Arahant. When I came across She’s puns I could almost see the superior, smirky look on her face when she wrote them.

    Punsters are shameless and cruel and ought to be banned from polite society. Of course, Arahant and She would never know because they’ve never been a part of that class.

    I hope you two have them out of your system.

    If you think, @kentforrester, that you can just mussel your way into this conversation and tell me to clam up, you’ve got another think coming. I’m not going to let you skate on this. 

    • #24
    • January 29, 2019, at 7:44 AM PST
    • 17 likes
  25. KentForrester Moderator

    She (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    That one hurt me a bit, Arahant. When I came across She’s puns I could almost see the superior, smirky look on her face when she wrote them.

    Punsters are shameless and cruel and ought to be banned from polite society. Of course, Arahant and She would never know because they’ve never been a part of that class.

    I hope you two have them out of your system.

    If you think, @kentforrester, that you can just mussel your way into this conversation and tell me to clam up, you’ve got another think coming. I’m not going to let you skate on this.

    OMG, She. Quit that. Just quit it!

    • #25
    • January 29, 2019, at 7:53 AM PST
    • 6 likes
  26. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    OMG, She. Quit that. Just quit it!

    In this thread, Kent, you’ve got to fish or cut bait.

    • #26
    • January 29, 2019, at 7:55 AM PST
    • 9 likes
  27. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    I had to go feed the cats. Has Kent changed his tuna, yet?

    • #27
    • January 29, 2019, at 8:07 AM PST
    • 2 likes
  28. KentForrester Moderator

    Arahant (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    OMG, She. Quit that. Just quit it!

    In this thread, Kent, you’ve got to fish or cut bait.

    I don’t mean to carp on this, but may all your children be below average and sit on the bench all season when they go out for the high school basketball team. And then grow up to be internet gamers who live out their lives in your basement. 

    (I had to italicize my pun because I didn’t think either of your two would catch it.)

    OMG, you’ve got me doing it.

    • #28
    • January 29, 2019, at 8:09 AM PST
    • 2 likes
  29. Arahant Member
    Arahant

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    may all your children be below average

    As close as I come:

    Admittedly, though, they are pretty lazy…unless you pop open a can of fish.

    • #29
    • January 29, 2019, at 8:16 AM PST
    • 2 likes
  30. KentForrester Moderator

    Arahant (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    may all your children be below average

    As close as I come:

    Admittedly, though, they are pretty lazy…unless you pop open a can of fish.

    Holy mackerel! A cat lover and a punner. They just seem to go together. And not in a good way.

    • #30
    • January 29, 2019, at 8:46 AM PST
    • 2 likes

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