Ricochet Silent Radio, Part 3: Lord Protector of the United States

 

Turn down the lights! It’s time for another Ricochet Silent Radio adventure in our ongoing series…Tales From the PIT!

Yes, you’ve tuned into 1954’s boldest new radio sensation. Rocket with Ricochet into the infinite horizons of the far-off world of the future. At the beginning of the 21st century, one man will uphold justice…by breaking the law! In parts 1 and 2, we followed the journey of John Mantle, a.k.a. Judge Mental, former spaceman, computer expert—and arrow of vengeance—whose intelligence and ruthlessness brings him to the attention of Skipsul Harrigan, deputy to the President of the United States. Mantle is press-ganged into Federal service, acting as confidential White House liaison to rich financiers and industrialists like Gregory Arahant and Jason Rudert. The country is already in a state of chaos, approaching civil war when a devastating series of events leaves John Mantle in command.

Incredible…but possible! Is this a Buck Rogers fantasy, or could it be a deadly accurate prediction of America’s tomorrow? Ricochet’s imaginary network brings you a daring glimpse into what just might be–(Theme music climax)–Tomorrow’s world!

Tonight, part 3 of this week’s four-part story: “Lord Protector of the United States”.

The voice of Judge Mental:

It was chilly, just before dawn in Washington when we landed at Andrews Air Force Base. The rain was turning into frozen hail. It stung my face, but I didn’t much care. After what I’d been through, you really don’t notice. I walked across the desolate airfield to my new Federal heli Skycar. The Army pilots saluted and opened the hatch. I strapped myself in. As the turbine hum slowly rose in pitch, I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up it was daylight. We were at the White House south lawn.

It was an endless season of funerals, grief, and anger over the 2900 people killed in New Mexico. A time for vows of vigilance and national revenge. On posters, bumper stickers, and thousands of angry graffiti scrawls, the simple symbol of the number 29—decimal equivalent to the binary date in US notation, “011101”–became America’s battle cry in the new century.

The ongoing Congressional boycott was similar to something that once happened in Wisconsin. A quorum simply refused to seat itself and fled federal jurisdiction, or so they thought. For the second time in 140 years, the real possibility of bloodshed over secession hung in the air.

(Announcer:) The three remaining judges of the Supreme Court ruled that the formal departures from the US made the existing Constitution invalid. Therefore, the country reverted to British 18th century common law until a new and modified US Constitution could be ratified. Under those rules, Judge Mental’s temporary powers were confirmed and legalized. He was proclaimed as Lord Protector of the United States, with few effective limits. As the new Oliver Cromwell of the 21st century, he wasted no time demanding action.

(Judge Mental:) “Most of Congress has refused to take its seats for more than two years. Gentlemen, I have decided it’s my responsibility to take on the job that the people’s so-called representatives have shirked. I don’t want executive branch dictatorship. I am invoking the Walker Act and the Congressional powers it confers to state legislatures. They will become the Federal legislative machinery for the duration of the emergency.”

I turned to a Signals colonel. “Is it possible to provide secure, identity-proven NXN terminals in the state capitals?” “Yes, sir. Most state capitals already have the latest NXN-Gamma level cipher, and the others can be quickly installed or upgraded.”

“You are to arrange any needed technical assistance with Navy Signals, the Army Signal Corps, and the Army Corps of Engineers. From now on, those who choose to participate will vote via teletype directly from the floors of the state legislatures. Washington, the federal district, isn’t needed anymore as a seat of government. We still run school tours through the Capitol, don’t we? From now on, and until the opposition regains its senses, that’s all that will happen there.”

My job was going to be as short-lived as I could make it. The consensus in the press was the emergency would last something like two years, and privately I agreed. More lasting arrangements needed a president and a functioning national government. But there are certain short term advantages to dictatorship, and I was determined to make the most of them, so that a bloody civil war was not the first order of business for a new United States.

The largely pacifist western “Compact” states made good relations, trade deals, and eventual customs union with Mexico a priority. But when they attempted to sell Hawaii to Japan, they triggered a fight they couldn’t win about shared national property.

Because of that over-reaching of the Mountain Left, businessman Jason Rudert defeated his domestic opponents in the Western Alliance, the “ruthless utopians”. He was a friend, but now he was the Salt Lake City boss of the WA and a tough negotiator.

This was a hard deal and a vital one. The US would buy a fifty-year lease on the Hanford, Washington and Los Alamos, New Mexico nuclear labs from the Western Alliance, which didn’t want nuclear weapons, and agreed to share Tennessee’s Oak Ridge National Laboratory with the South, which did. So far, conflict averted. But after that, the South stopped making deals altogether.

Gov. Tommy Smith’s grieving widow Julie was elected acting governor of Arkansas by the state assembly, and de facto president of the American South by acclamation. To the surprise of many, she showed right away that she didn’t see herself as a figurehead, meant to keep the seat warm for the next governor. She knew her husband’s agenda; she helped formulate it. With iron determination and a flair for publicity, she was going to implement it at all costs.

Being lenient with the West made the North’s strongest unionists uneasy. That’s when someone leaked the Judge Mental name into the papers, a sensational scoop that everyone seemed to have at once. It was a shock, I admit, but I went ahead and preemptively released the information about my unsanctioned execution of the men who caused the space station incident. The public reaction was surprisingly muted.

For one thing, there had always been rumors that the man who was a hero for killing three space pirates had maybe not entirely retired from the craft. Back in the days when I walked the corridors of Capitol Hill for Skipsul, it lent a certain intimidating presence to my persuasion visits, as I well knew. The newspaper stories confirmed that I’d only killed obviously guilty killers. Putting “Judge Mental” out in public was a political sneak attack that fizzled. But I knew in my gut that from that point onwards the label would stick to me indelibly, like General “Mad Anthony” Wayne, and it did. Even my fans shouted it as the motorcade went by.

Gradually, the intelligence services presented the unpalatable, bitter truth about January 11, 2001: it was a dreadful one of a kind accident, not an act of war. I couldn’t believe it at first, but they had the facts down cold. Satellite footage proved the nuclear chain reaction began, not ended, at the nuclear material storage vaults that obliterated the town of Torreon, New Mexico, twenty-five miles away. It was safely behind a mountain range, right? With the prime staff up in Meadow Lake working on the launch, the third string messed up. Bad, but within specs. It should have ended there.

There was never supposed to be unshielded fissionable material within two miles of any working vault, but the military trains that loaded and unloaded in Torreon were backed up four deep because of delays and rail closures for the VIP banquet. Refined atomic ore buckets were lined up through the mountains to Meadow Lake like a string of firecrackers. And the final stick of dynamite was the spaceship, which was supposed to be buttoned up well before any civilians, let alone the President, were allowed on base. One screw-up after another.

It made for infuriating reading. But everyone who deserved a reprimand, censure, firing or court-martial died in the chain of explosions, and had already received the fiery judgment of a far harsher Judge than I.

To be honest, each of this country’s three emerging national leaders continued to use innuendo about who might be responsible and who might have benefited, even after we’d all received private briefings on the truth. In other words, to differing degrees, we all lied, but only for the time being as we adjusted to the unexpected facts and prepared to brief the public on them.

Jason would have to admit that what happened had nothing to do with foreign reaction to America meddling abroad. Julie’s people, all her radio host friends, would have to stop hatching conspiracy schemes about how lifelong enemies of the South martyred the President and the Governor who were prepared to make peace. And I couldn’t use January 11 as a reason for indefinite rule. Nor did I want to.

The “South problem” was tougher than the “West problem”. Broadly, much of the west was as liberal in some respects as the east. It was less interested in New York and Washington’s wars. It didn’t really want independence; under better circumstances, it probably would have simply settled for some autonomy, a little more elbow room.

But the South was once again crossing the Rubicon, regardless. First, it was the breakup that everyone seemed to want and no one expected. By two years later, it had turned into the breakup that everyone expected, but fewer people wanted. Unlike 1861, however, one man was empowered to make a deal with the South.

After all, it’s not like slavery was at stake. Not this time. On the contrary, this time Negro and white southerners alike were singing from the same hymnbook—literally–and with two-thirds of Black America still below the Mason-Dixon Line, they were a powerful voice. Some of the grievances, like tariffs or the strength of the dollar, could probably be worked out. Arahant had already presented such a plan. But a deep resentment of the North, cultural as much as anything else, had lingered for more than a century.

It went both ways. In the Boston press, photos of Arahant leaving the White House were captioned King Copperhead, Treason’s Financier, Ready to Strike! Of course, I was mentioned as well. The Globe had an editorial cartoon of me as Lord Protector, blindfolded, oblivious to Lady Justice being molested by a gang of evil gray coated Confederates. There was something more than principle here; there was a real disdain for the ways of the South, its deferential manners, its religious leadership, and its culture.

In the middle of all this, Governor Julie Smith arrived at the White House gates “unexpectedly,” that is, unexpected to everyone except, clearly, the assignment desks at the networks, with live TV cameras conveniently pre-placed at the White House fence, with her three adorable photogenic children, all of them dressed in 19th century prison clothes. Along with about 80 million other people, I watched it on TV. I picked up a phone. “Damn it, what are you waiting for? Let her in. Get those stupid cameras off. Someone go down and take care of those kids. Prison clothes. Of all the stunts…”

The guard had served five presidents. “Chief, it’s just her. She sent the kids back to the hotel in a cab”. I walked down to the front of the building and met Smith just inside the entrance. Photographers surged to the threshold. The rapid blitz of the flashbulbs was blinding. We’d seen each other at the funerals. Now we were both on edge, aware that what we were about to say to each other privately could lead to millions of more funerals.

“Governor…”, I said. She nodded curtly in response. “Lord Protector. Thank you for receiving me on such short notice”. We ignored the screamed questions of the press and entered the White House.

Her prison clothes made a rough sound as she walked. I found myself resenting the theatricality of the stunt while understanding why she did it and why it was so likely to be effective. It was not, strictly speaking, just a stunt. One of the options handed to me was a mass arrest of separatist political leaders of the South. The thought of them in the hot sun, chained together in road gangs and breaking rocks with sledgehammers was irresistible to a certain class of advisers. I fired them all. But she didn’t know that.

Gov. Smith had put some thought into how she’d begin. She had the virtue of directness.

“I’m from a town called Russellville. A lot of our great-grandfathers died in the Civil War.”

“I’m from a town called Reynoldsburg. We also lost men in that war. In fact, I’ve also got kin on your side of that line, Julie”.

I dislike the trappings of the Oval Office. We went into the map room. Julie’s voice was polite, even conciliatory, but resigned, clearly expecting nothing good even as she delivered her bottom line.

“I can tell you that the people of the South sincerely appreciate the sensible, overdue efforts that the Protector is making to preserve the United States. I decided I might as well show up ready for prison. Because I am not going to submit”.

“Arahant claims we can separate without destroying the economy of north or south. Atlanta and Denver already have their own US Mints that could be de-federalized. We could share the dollar, for real, if that’s the problem. What are your intentions, Governor?”

“I realize I’m not leaving you a whole lot of good choices. You are respected and for the most part, very well liked across the region. If there were an election for president, you’d be the winner by a mile. But for us, it is too late to vote in US elections. The South just wants out”.

“You realize, of course, that our experts estimate that the north has subsidized your roads, bridges and other facilities”.

“We dispute the numbers”, she said. “We would agree to an honest neutral commission finding the right sum. If that’s what retrieving Southern honor requires, we will sell bonds and we will pay, no matter how long it takes”.

This must have been the longest pause I ever took. I sighed and plunged ahead.

“Okay. Forget the money. We’re not going to ask for a settlement. You’re free to go”.

“Sir?”, she said, not understanding what I’d just said.

“You. The South. I will sign your formal document of independence, no strings attached. You are free to manage your own affairs. If you want it that badly, only a tyrant would stop you. And I’m not that tyrant. Well, not that particular tyrant”.

“I can’t believe this day ever came. When is this effective?”

I checked my watch. It was 7:25 pm. “How about 9 o’clock? Think we’ll get an audience?”

For the first time, she laughed. “Yeah. And they’ll be amazed. Delighted. Joyous”.

“Just one thing, Governor. This is going to be one of the most watched occasions in American history. Would you mind terribly if we sent someone down to the women’s wear department at Hecht’s to pick something up for you? Because those prison clothes are not the way this moment ought to be remembered.”

And that’s the way it would be. I had no real choice; if that’s the way they felt, we were eventually going to let them out one way or another.

Julie Smith spoke first. Her voice rang out with dignity and pride. “Our long national story together is changing and there is no going back. However, and let the years to come know this, at this critical time the United States has chosen the path of peace, respect, and even generosity. The Greater South will never forget this moment”.

I wasn’t surprised when a reporter asked, “Sir? Lord Protector? Are you aware that an authoritative study says the South should pay back the North for hundreds of billions of dollars of Federal investment?

“Yes, I’ve read the study”.

“Sir, is that not a significant national interest that you are obliged to defend?”

I welcomed the chance to answer. “The South has traditionally provided manpower for America’s defense in numbers far, far outweighing their population or their share of America’s wealth. There is an imbalance in blood that is incalculably greater than any imbalance of treasure. An honorable nation should not expect a literal repayment of either debt, and an honorable nation would not accept it.”

I turned away from the cameras. “Thank you, gentlemen”, I said as the press conference ended. I made my way out of the blinding lights into the protective cordon that followed me everywhere now. One of the network anchors was speaking, live, at the side of the room. “You have just heard the Lord Protector of the United States”.

I was struck by a glimpse of the faces on a trio of young reporters, hustling towards the phones in the back of the room. On their faces, I saw shock. Understandable enough. But I saw something more. Fear. Anger. Directed at me. For the sin of avoiding a war.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to Part 3 of “Lord Protector of the United States”, a production of Tales From the PIT. Tune in tomorrow night for the next part of John Mantle’s historic path through the fantastic world of 21st century America!

Ricochet members featured or mentioned in tonight’s show include @judgemental, @juliesnapp, @jasonrudert and @arahant.

Disclaimer: Ricochet Silent Radio is a mark of satire, not an official part of Ricochet. Regarding the use of Ricochet members as fictional characters: Dialog, attitudes, and actions attributed to them are not their own.

This is the Ricochet Silent Radio Network.

Published in General
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 43 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion
    @HankRhody

    Gary McVey: Gradually, the intelligence services presented the unpalatable, bitter truth about January 11, 2001: it was a dreadful one of a kind accident, not an act of war. I couldn’t believe it at first, but they had the facts down cold. Satellite footage proved the nuclear chain reaction began, not ended, at the nuclear material storage vaults that obliterated the town of Torreon, New Mexico, twenty five miles away. It was safely behind a mountain range, right? With the prime staff up in Meadow Lake working on the launch, the third string messed up. Bad, but within specs. It should have ended there.

    I’d been wondering about that. Accident or Atomic Terrorism?

    H. Beam Piper wrote a story about management getting into a fight with the union at an atomic power plant, which (spoiler alert) ended up going up in smoke because of some moron.

    • #1
  2. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion (View Comment):

    Gary McVey: Gradually, the intelligence services presented the unpalatable, bitter truth about January 11, 2001: it was a dreadful one of a kind accident, not an act of war. I couldn’t believe it at first, but they had the facts down cold. Satellite footage proved the nuclear chain reaction began, not ended, at the nuclear material storage vaults that obliterated the town of Torreon, New Mexico, twenty five miles away. It was safely behind a mountain range, right? With the prime staff up in Meadow Lake working on the launch, the third string messed up. Bad, but within specs. It should have ended there.

    I’d been wondering about that. Accident or Atomic Terrorism?

    H. Beam Piper wrote a story about management getting into a fight with the union at an atomic power plant, which (spoiler alert) ended up going up in smoke because of some moron.

    There’ll always be the option of Atomic Terror Over the Pacific!

    • #2
  3. Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion
    @HankRhody

    Gary McVey: On posters, bumper stickers, and thousands of angry graffiti scrawls, the simple symbol of the number 29—decimal equivalent to the binary date in US notation, “011101”–became America’s battle cry in the new century.

    In Europe, of course, the battle cry was 53, because nobody can agree on time or date conventions.

    • #3
  4. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    I always knew the South would rise again. (Or will it? Stay tuned!)

    • #4
  5. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Really enjoying it (as always).  Thanks, Gary.

    • #5
  6. Nanda "Chaps" Panjandrum Member
    Nanda "Chaps" Panjandrum
    @

    From alternative culture to alternative history…Nothing but the best from R>SRN! Thanks so much, Gary! 

    • #6
  7. Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger Member
    Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger
    @MattBalzer

    Just to be clear, there are what, three nations now here?

    • #7
  8. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger (View Comment):

    Just to be clear, there are what, three nations now here?

    Yes, the “old” United States, the South, and the West. Somewhat like the breakup of the Soviet Union, there was an attempt to hold the USA together with terms like “sovereignty association”, to treat it as one still unified country with some autonomy between the three national blocs. The South forcing the issue makes it clear that these are now three separate nations. Because of Judge Mental’s leadership, they are effectively siblings, not enemies, and cooperate on finance and continental defense. 

    • #8
  9. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    Nanda "Chaps" Panjan… (View Comment):

    From alternative culture to alternative history…Nothing but the best from R>SRN! Thanks so much, Gary!

    Always a pleasure, Nanda! I look forward to seeing you back tomorrow!

    • #9
  10. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    Boss Mongo (View Comment):

    Really enjoying it (as always). Thanks, Gary.

    Honored to have you with us, Boss. 

    • #10
  11. Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe Member
    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe
    @JudgeMental

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    The South forcing the issue makes it clear that these are now three separate nations. Because of Judge Mental’s leadership, they are effectively siblings, not enemies, and cooperate on finance and continental defense. 

    Now, did you even consider tying Julie to railroad tracks?  Because it’s the first thing I thought of.

    • #11
  12. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    The South forcing the issue makes it clear that these are now three separate nations. Because of Judge Mental’s leadership, they are effectively siblings, not enemies, and cooperate on finance and continental defense.

    Now, did you even consider tying Julie to railroad tracks? Because it’s the first thing I thought of.

    Sometimes actors improvise useful bits of action on the set, like Malcolm McDowell and “Singing in the Rain”. 

    • #12
  13. Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe Member
    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe
    @JudgeMental

    Plus, a belated congrats to @skipsul for being the first Ricochet member to ever be permanently killed in RSR.  (I was temporarily killed, but that was just for Christmas.)

    • #13
  14. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    We Ricochet members are always looking for ways to thank the moderators…

    • #14
  15. Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger Member
    Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger
    @MattBalzer

    Gary McVey (View Comment):

    We Ricochet members are always looking for ways to thank the moderators…

    Explosion is the sincerest form of flattery.

    • #15
  16. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    I never thought I’d live to see the day when The New York Times’ consistent line of foreign affairs is, “Why aren’t we closer to war with Russia? What’s the matter, is the President in love with Russia? Russia, Russia, Russia…” So, being an imitation hack radio writer, not an esteemed editorial writer, I wondered: can’t a leader achieve greatness by refusing a war?

    • #16
  17. J.D. Snapp Coolidge
    J.D. Snapp
    @JulieSnapp

    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    The South forcing the issue makes it clear that these are now three separate nations. Because of Judge Mental’s leadership, they are effectively siblings, not enemies, and cooperate on finance and continental defense.

    Now, did you even consider tying Julie to railroad tracks? Because it’s the first thing I thought of.

    Hey now! >:V

    • #17
  18. J.D. Snapp Coolidge
    J.D. Snapp
    @JulieSnapp

    I like that you captured my stubbornness and force of will, Gary. :)

    • #18
  19. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    J.D. Snapp (View Comment):

    I like that you captured my stubbornness and force of will, Gary. :)

    Ricochet Silent Radio’s audio-animatronic specialists study your Rico personality and adjust our back-propagation neural networks to imitate it. As with Judge, I can’t really do justice to the real thing! 

    • #19
  20. Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion
    @HankRhody

    J.D. Snapp (View Comment):

    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    The South forcing the issue makes it clear that these are now three separate nations. Because of Judge Mental’s leadership, they are effectively siblings, not enemies, and cooperate on finance and continental defense.

    Now, did you even consider tying Julie to railroad tracks? Because it’s the first thing I thought of.

    Hey now! >:V

    Don’t forget to gag her too.

    • #20
  21. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion (View Comment):

    J.D. Snapp (View Comment):

    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    The South forcing the issue makes it clear that these are now three separate nations. Because of Judge Mental’s leadership, they are effectively siblings, not enemies, and cooperate on finance and continental defense.

    Now, did you even consider tying Julie to railroad tracks? Because it’s the first thing I thought of.

    Hey now! >:V

    Don’t forget to gag her too.

    In this story so far we’ve crammed in hand-to-hand killing in outer space, a legal fight over the legality of bullets, several offscreen vigilante killings, rotary wing aircraft, and a nuclear explosion. I thought, I’ve got every male-friendly aspect of storytelling covered. But you know, sometimes you just don’t check that list carefully enough…

    • #21
  22. Nanda "Chaps" Panjandrum Member
    Nanda "Chaps" Panjandrum
    @

    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion (View Comment):

    Gary McVey: On posters, bumper stickers, and thousands of angry graffiti scrawls, the simple symbol of the number 29—decimal equivalent to the binary date in US notation, “011101”–became America’s battle cry in the new century.

    In Europe, of course, the battle cry was 53, because nobody can agree on time or date conventions.

    Don’t forget “42”, Hank…

    • #22
  23. Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger Member
    Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger
    @MattBalzer

    Gary McVey (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion (View Comment):

    J.D. Snapp (View Comment):

    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    The South forcing the issue makes it clear that these are now three separate nations. Because of Judge Mental’s leadership, they are effectively siblings, not enemies, and cooperate on finance and continental defense.

    Now, did you even consider tying Julie to railroad tracks? Because it’s the first thing I thought of.

    Hey now! >:V

    Don’t forget to gag her too.

    In this story so far we’ve crammed in hand-to-hand killing in outer space, a legal fight over the legality of bullets, several offscreen vigilante killings, rotary wing aircraft, and a nuclear explosion. I thought, I’ve got every male-friendly aspect of storytelling covered. But you know, sometimes you just don’t check that list carefully enough…

    We’re gonna need a car chase, a barbeque, and a wrestling match at a minimum.

    • #23
  24. Nanda "Chaps" Panjandrum Member
    Nanda "Chaps" Panjandrum
    @

    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe (View Comment):

    Plus, a belated congrats to @skipsul for being the first Ricochet member to ever be permanently killed in RSR. (I was temporarily killed, but that was just for Christmas.)

    I’m pretty happy about that, too, JM…Does the Lord Protector have a Lady Fair (for the wrap party, that is)? :-)

    • #24
  25. Boss Mongo Member
    Boss Mongo
    @BossMongo

    Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger (View Comment):
    We’re gonna need a car chase, a barbeque, and a wrestling match at a minimum.

    Somebody named Gillette needs to get his throat cut by a Schick straight razor.

    • #25
  26. Nanda "Chaps" Panjandrum Member
    Nanda "Chaps" Panjandrum
    @

    As to being “permanently killed”, can’t storylines go backward *and* forward? 

    • #26
  27. Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe Member
    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe
    @JudgeMental

    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion (View Comment):

    J.D. Snapp (View Comment):

    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    The South forcing the issue makes it clear that these are now three separate nations. Because of Judge Mental’s leadership, they are effectively siblings, not enemies, and cooperate on finance and continental defense.

    Now, did you even consider tying Julie to railroad tracks? Because it’s the first thing I thought of.

    Hey now! >:V

    Don’t forget to gag her too.

    She’s gonna have to put on something frilly too.  It’s kind of traditional.

    • #27
  28. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion (View Comment):

    J.D. Snapp (View Comment):

    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    The South forcing the issue makes it clear that these are now three separate nations. Because of Judge Mental’s leadership, they are effectively siblings, not enemies, and cooperate on finance and continental defense.

    Now, did you even consider tying Julie to railroad tracks? Because it’s the first thing I thought of.

    Hey now! >:V

    Don’t forget to gag her too.

    She’s gonna have to put on something frilly too. It’s kind of traditional.

     

    Snidely Whiplash strikes again

    See the source image

    • #28
  29. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    J.D. Snapp (View Comment):

    I like that you captured my stubbornness and force of will, Gary. :)

    Thanks for your good natured willingness to participate, Julie! These stories are premised on the fact that the people here who become RSR characters are basically playing enhanced versions of themselves, getting even more of what I think they deserve: money, influence, fame, a chance to stamp history. 

    It’s a “written-only” show so far, but the players were chosen in part because you’ve all proven to be fine RSR voice actors, too. We’d cut the length so you guys don’t die of laryngitis, but there are only a few, forceful roles, which is what you want for an honest to goodness radio show.  

    • #29
  30. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody, Acting on Emotion (View Comment):

    J.D. Snapp (View Comment):

    Judge Mental, Cromwell Wannabe (View Comment):

    Gary McVey (View Comment):
    The South forcing the issue makes it clear that these are now three separate nations. Because of Judge Mental’s leadership, they are effectively siblings, not enemies, and cooperate on finance and continental defense.

    Now, did you even consider tying Julie to railroad tracks? Because it’s the first thing I thought of.

    Hey now! >:V

    Don’t forget to gag her too.

    In this story so far we’ve crammed in hand-to-hand killing in outer space, a legal fight over the legality of bullets, several offscreen vigilante killings, rotary wing aircraft, and a nuclear explosion. I thought, I’ve got every male-friendly aspect of storytelling covered. But you know, sometimes you just don’t check that list carefully enough…

    We’re gonna need a car chase, a barbeque, and a wrestling match at a minimum.

    Okay, but that’s also why we have a Wisconsin franchise. In a Judge Mental show, the wrestling match is likely to be over a handgun, and he invariably wins it. The car chase generally ends with him pumping a magazine worth of lead into the occupied trunk of a car; and the barbeque usually involves him posing questions to a recalcitrant subject in a particularly unwelcome way. 

    • #30
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.