I Just Wanted to Get Out of the House: On Trying to Write in Coffee Shops

 

One of my favorite writerly fantasies — besides producing a perfect masterpiece following a montage in which I am alternately writing furiously and crumpling up my drafts in frustration until reading that one draft that provides the inspirational breakthrough — is the idea of spending a weekend afternoon working away in a coffee shop to produce a lovely, near-perfect draft of an essay or short story. I’ll find a quiet table in a sunny but not-too-hot corner, and periodically I will glance up from my work to take a sip of my coffee, neither too hot nor too cold, and watch the people outside the window before resuming my work. 

Let’s be real, though. It hardly ever works out that way.

First, are the logistics of bringing my work. I’ll need to take my laptop with me, so I can continue pieces I already started. Being an older model (so old, the Apple store won’t even do repairs on it anymore), the laptop is heavy, and its battery power almost nonexistent. So, I will need to make sure I have my power cord with me (currently held together with several strategically placed pieces of electrical tape) and hope I can find a seat near an outlet. That is, assuming I can find an empty seat at all. Coffee shops, like airports, tend to suffer from an acute lack of sufficient seating and power outlet access.  

For the sake of argument though, let’s assume I can find a seat near an outlet. In fact, let’s dream big and say I find a whole table to set up my work. I’ll order my latte, claim my table, and set up my computer. I’m all set, right?

Not so fast. First of all, it’s invariably loud, usually because they always have some top hits Spotify station playing in the shop. It’ll be turned up just loud enough that the Puccini I’ll be listening to won’t be enough to overcome it, and Turandot will end up competing with Ariana Grande. Not the most conducive conditions for concentrating on, say, a piece about the 19th-century French novel. thank u, next will keep breaking in as I try to think my way through what exactly it is I am trying to say about narrative structure in Madame Bovary and Marcel Proust. I’ll do my best to tune it out but, eventually, I’ll have to give up on Puccini and pull out my earbuds. Concentrating on not concentrating on their music is even more distracting. 

I’ll soon regret this decision, though. Before I can put my full attention back on my work, I’ll end up distracted again by a conversation taking place at the table next to mine. I’ll try not to eavesdrop, but it’s difficult with the tables are this close to one another. Soon, I’ll find myself indignant along with a young woman in a blue scarf as she recounts for her friend the events of the date she went on last week, sharing her incredulity that, despite spending three hours at drinks, he still hasn’t texted her back. You’re right, Blue Scarf, he should have texted you back!    

Once Blue Scarf and her friend leave, I’ll have finished my latte, but not my work. One latte is never enough for a full writing session. At some point, I’ll need to buy another, unless I want to keep nursing the last tepid sips of the first. And I’ll probably start to get hungry. But two lattes are expensive enough, and those scones and rolls they only ever seem to have are massive. Have you ever seen how many calories are in just one, with chocolate chips and covered in icing? Two lattes plus a pastry is essentially my caloric intake for the day, and probably enough sugar for a week. 

I could try to stretch the second latte even longer and hope it’s enough to fill me up. Writing while my stomach is growling isn’t ideal, but maybe my impromptu asceticism will help me transcend the snares and distractions of the world around me — including the musings of Taylor Swift, now playing on Spotify — and attain a higher state of contemplation and clarity. In reality, it’ll just give me a headache. On the other hand, I could cave and buy the pastry, sugar, and calories be damned. The sugar rush will be exhilarating for the first half-hour or so, but the crash will catastrophic. Either way, I’ll end up with a dull pain in my head for the rest of the day, rambling my way through my now only semi-coherent draft before calling it quits and heading home, leaving behind the cold dregs of my latte and my wasted day. 

True, working at home isn’t always better. There are the typical domestic distractions (“You know what I should really do instead of working on this piece? Deep clean my refrigerator.”), and while it’s nice to get out of the house, taking my work to a coffee shop is hardly ever worth the effort. And anyway, I usually get my best work done late at night or early in the morning, when the day is done or has yet to begin. Ensconced in my room at my desk, I can keep the distractions at bay, having all I really need within reach: my music, my coffee or tea, and something to write.

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  1. Jon1979 Inactive
    Jon1979
    @Jon1979

    I had the same problem with my old laptop, especially when the local B&N plated over their electrical outlets to keep people from lingering too long at their Starbucks working on their laptops. But since a lot of the stuff I do away from home involved replaying stuff on audio, I’ve got my headphones on 50 percent of the time, which drowns out any of the more distracting ambient noise.

    • #1
  2. Titus Techera Contributor
    Titus Techera
    @TitusTechera

    I can’t quite say why, but you remind me of the protagonist in WKW’s movie:

    • #2
  3. Chris O. Coolidge
    Chris O.
    @ChrisO

    I sympathize, though I actually like the white noise of the crowd at Starbucks. It simulates an office environment to a degree. Of course, it also depends on the crowd. The other day a large group was in that, thankfully, weren’t able to overcome a pair of earbuds. When I took them out, it was pretty shocking: sounded more like a high school cafeteria than an office. On occasion, I request the music turned down.

    The upside of getting used to the environment is being able to work anywhere. Besides, maybe Blue Scarf or someone else inspires something…like this post!

    • #3
  4. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Go out among the unwashed masses? Fate forfend!

    • #4
  5. OkieSailor Member
    OkieSailor
    @OkieSailor

    Two words: Panera Bread.
    Better coffee, more outlets, quieter location. And the cinnamon bagels are worth every calorie, says this old fat man ;>)

    • #5
  6. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    OkieSailor (View Comment):

    Two words: Panera Bread.
    Better coffee, more outlets, quieter location. And the cinnamon bagels are worth every calorie, says this old fat man ;>)

    Smells a lot better, too.

    • #6
  7. Franz Drumlin Inactive
    Franz Drumlin
    @FranzDrumlin

    Browse through any history of Paris Existentialism and you invariably encounter Sartre and Beauvoir busy scribbling at their favorite table at Les Deux Magots. Understandable as apartments in post-war France tended to be unheated and the cafe was at least warm enough to get some work done. But how much work? I suspect very little. The European cafe was primarily a place to see and be seen. Pick a cafe, join a clique, smoke incessantly, hobnob, gossip, make an artistic pose or two, et viola – you’re a member of the Intelligentsia. Or so you desperately want to think. In reality you’re probably just another maladjusted boho wannabe who’s found a way to join the Parisian (or Viennese, Milanese, Berliner, etc) version of the ‘cool’ table in an American high school cafeteria. And let’s be honest, outside of Simone de Beauvoir, it was mostly guys. Like American Beatnikery, Euro cafe culture was horrible sexist. But I still love coffee houses! Despite the really awful music you mentioned, they are great places to read, say, the National Review or Commentary or The Wall Street Journal or (sigh) The Weekly Standard.

    • #7
  8. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    Wonderful post. Thank you.

    • #8
  9. David Foster Member
    David Foster
    @DavidFoster

    Right now, I am at La Madeleine, right in front of the fireplace.  Background music is so low as to be almost undetectable.  Coffee is pretty decent though could be a little hotter.  Concentration of obvious SJWs seems considerably lower than a typical Starbucks.

    • #9
  10. sawatdeeka Member
    sawatdeeka
    @sawatdeeka

    Caitlin Peartree: First of all, it’s invariably loud, usually because they always have some top hits Spotfiy station playing in the shop.

    Always my biggest complaint about coffee shops. 

    • #10
  11. Jarvis Morse-Loyola Coolidge
    Jarvis Morse-Loyola
    @irb

    I can’t write in coffee shops, the noise level is too variable; but I can write in bars for some reason. Sports bars during off hours. Usually the ambient noise is constant, which so far as it isn’t too loud is about ideal. 

    Not as ideal as at my desk at home, where a lovely and long-suffering wife will ply me with whiskey and ideas, but a decent alternative if the power’s out.

    • #11
  12. Unwoke Caveman Lawyer Inactive
    Unwoke Caveman Lawyer
    @UnwokeCavemanLawyer

    Caitlin Peartree: Writing while my stomach is growling isn’t ideal . . . .

    Heh.

    • #12
  13. Unwoke Caveman Lawyer Inactive
    Unwoke Caveman Lawyer
    @UnwokeCavemanLawyer

    Franz Drumlin (View Comment):
    . . . or Commentary or The Wall Street Journal or (sigh) The Weekly Standard.

    Or soon The Bulwark?

    • #13
  14. Franz Drumlin Inactive
    Franz Drumlin
    @FranzDrumlin

    Unwoke Caveman Lawyer (View Comment):

    Franz Drumlin (View Comment):
    . . . or Commentary or The Wall Street Journal or (sigh) The Weekly Standard.

    Or soon The Bulwark?

     

    • #14
  15. Franz Drumlin Inactive
    Franz Drumlin
    @FranzDrumlin

     

    Naturlich! As soon as it acquires as toxic a reputation as my other scandalous reads. 

    • #15
  16. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    Write at a coffee shop? I always have a stack of reference material and I need two screens (one for the text I am producing and a second to display  more reference material. And I inevitable discover I have left a book containing a critical reference in another room. The only thing that is more amusing than the idea of writing at a coffee shop is the idea that I could ever effortlessly write a masterpiece.

    (And yes, I need reference material to write fiction. Imagine I am writing a story set at MIT. Now suppose my protagonist leaves the MIT campus, crosses the Hudson River at the George Washington Bridge to meet a friend at the Fort Lee Public Library. If it is not a science fiction story with some weird space-time effects taking place any reader from Boston is going to wonder why he did not cross the Charles at the Harvard Bridge to meet the friend at the New England College of Optometry. A New Yorker will wonder why MIT is located where Columbia  University is.)

    • #16
  17. Caitlin Peartree Member
    Caitlin Peartree
    @LAngevine

    OkieSailor (View Comment):

    Two words: Panera Bread.
    Better coffee, more outlets, quieter location. And the cinnamon bagels are worth every calorie, says this old fat man ;>)

    I do love Panera (and cinnamon bagels!), but they closed all the locations around me :(

    Seawriter (View Comment):
    Write at a coffee shop? I always have a stack of reference material and I need two screens (one for the text I am producing and a second to display more reference material. And I inevitable discover I have left a book containing a critical reference in another room.

    This was always my problem when I was in college trying to write research papers. The book I really needed was halfway across campus. Or, I’d try to bring every book I could possibly need, but then my backpack would be so full I’d almost be toppling over. 

    • #17
  18. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Seawriter (View Comment):
    And yes, I need reference material to write fiction.

    Amen to that!

    • #18
  19. OkieSailor Member
    OkieSailor
    @OkieSailor

    Caitlin Peartree (View Comment):
    I do love Panera (and cinnamon bagels!), but they closed all the locations around me :(

    Well that’s just WRONG!! The nearest PB since we’ve moved to our rural location is 33 miles away and I still drop in when I can convince Mrs. OS it’s really necessary. We have every kind of fast food in Glasgow, KY but really need a Panera Brread. Any one interested?

    • #19
  20. Chris Campion Coolidge
    Chris Campion
    @ChrisCampion

    Unwoke Caveman Lawyer (View Comment):

    Franz Drumlin (View Comment):
    . . . or Commentary or The Wall Street Journal or (sigh) The Weekly Standard.

    Or soon The Bulwark?

    Unwoke Caveman Lawyer is the best moniker on Ricochet.

    • #20
  21. namlliT noD Member
    namlliT noD
    @DonTillman

    Hmm, I’ve got few recommendations…

    1. Hit the coffee shop with just a paper notebook and pen.  (Hipster Moleskine, or otherwise.) If you’re going there for a change of environment, ‘might as well use an alternate writing mechanism too.  It could be inspirational.

    2. Set up at the local library instead.

    3. I think it would be fascinating to survey professional writers to learn about their preferred writing environments.  Background music?  Commotion?  Specific room of the house?  A separate post for that.

     

    • #21
  22. Cal Lawton Inactive
    Cal Lawton
    @CalLawton

    MacDonald’s has coffee.

    • #22
  23. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    I have always thought the reason people write at coffee shops is to advertise that They Are A Writer. I have written professionally since 1998, and cannot remember when I wrote in a coffee shop. In hospital waiting rooms when my wife was getting chemo, and in hotel rooms when on business travel (first rule of writing professionally – don’t quit the day job). But never before an audience (which is what writing in a coffee shop is really about).

    Writing is really no different than plumbing or carpentry. It is work, especially if you get paid.You have to write when you do not feel like writing, and you have to make your word count. Oh, you don’t have to if your goal is to impress all your friends that You Are A Writer, but you do have to if you really are a writer. I Am A Writer is all about image and impressing folks with how special you are. You do not even have to finish anything or actually get published (much less getting paid for being published). Being a writer is doing the work and getting your copy in, on time, within budget, and within allocated word count. 

    Being a writer is a lot less glamorous than Being A Writer, but at least for me is more satisfying. I prefer to deliver.

    • #23
  24. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Seawriter (View Comment):
    But never before an audience (which is what writing in a coffee shop is really about).

    Worst performance art ever. Boring. Oh, look, that dude is typing on a keyboard. He must be a secretary.

    • #24
  25. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    sawatdeeka (View Comment):

    Caitlin Peartree: First of all, it’s invariably loud, usually because they always have some top hits Spotfiy station playing in the shop.

    Always my biggest complaint about coffee shops.

    It’s my biggest complaint about all of modern life. (Save the the stupid and anti-scientific Rousseauism that largely defines the ugly parts of our culture.) 

    • #25
  26. Jarvis Morse-Loyola Coolidge
    Jarvis Morse-Loyola
    @irb

    There are a lot of people out there who want to be seen doing a thing instead of actually doing that thing. Back in the dark ages of my IT career I was nagged repeatedly over the course of 6 months by one of the non-technical women working for the educational outreach section of $INTERESTING_AEROSPACE_JOB. The woman would not quit bothering me about wanting a Mac laptop. Well, I finally made it happen for her, and she took that thing everywhere, both at work and particularly cafés and other cool hip places to be. 

    I got that laptop back a little over a year later, and … it had never been logged into. I’m not sure it had even been powered on. She wanted it as a prop.

    That being said I think we’re being a little harsh here. I’ve written in coffee shops, bars, buses and the ice of Lake Michigan in winter. I used to carry a notebook with me (before I quit; and I was never a pro), both because the cacoethes scribendi would come upon me at the worst times, and because I didn’t have a nice home with a comfortable office to work from. Sometimes Denny’s at 2am was the only thing available.

    Having a regular, consistent place to write, be it a coffee shop or a diner or a bar or a tree, can also help (me, at least) when you’ve got to write and don’t want to. 

    Perhaps I’ll write my next Ricochet post from an Apple Mac from Starbuck’s. I think I have one lying around here somewhere.

    • #26
  27. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    Jarvis Morse-Loyola (View Comment):
    That being said I think we’re being a little harsh here. I’ve written in coffee shops, bars, buses and the ice of Lake Michigan in winter. I used to carry a notebook with me (before I quit; and I was never a pro), both because the cacoethes scribendi would come upon me at the worst times, and because I didn’t have a nice home with a comfortable office to work from. Sometimes Denny’s at 2am was the only thing available.

    Well, I said I have written in hospital waiting rooms and hotel rooms. I even wrote in the passenger seat of a car on I-45 in order to meet deadline. But that is a whole lot different than spending a weekend afternoon writing in a coffee shop – as is Denny’s at 2:00 am.

    • #27
  28. Vince Guerra Inactive
    Vince Guerra
    @VinceGuerra

    Seawriter (View Comment):
    And yes, I need reference material to write fiction.

    God bless Google Earth and YouTube. I can look at street views in Syria. 

    • #28
  29. Vince Guerra Inactive
    Vince Guerra
    @VinceGuerra

    I can write a good 1000 words on the notes program on my phone when I’m  out and about, but I need to take it back to my laptop at home in order to turn it into a piece I’d be willing to show others. 

    • #29
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